Murph Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 A couple is sleeping soundly in bed, around 2am the door bell rings. Husband wakes and answers the door to find a drunk on his porch. "What the he11 do you want?!" With a slurred reply the drunk says "can you please give me a push?" The husband slams the door in his face and returns to bed. The wife asks "who was it?" husband replies "some drunk wanting a push, I closed the door in his face." The wife replies, "now honey, remember that time we needed help late one night, and the people were nice enough to oblige us?" The husband thinks about it, and then goes back to offer his help. He opens the door, but doesn't see the drunk, "hey, you needed a push, where are you?".....the drunk replies, "over here on the swing." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 A blind guy walks into a bar and sits down and orders a drink. "Hey bartender, do you want to hear a blonde joke?" The guy next to him leans over and whispers into his ear, There is something you ought to know before you tell that joke! I am a 265 lb. Rugby player, the guy to your left is a 7th degree black belt in three different Martial Arts, the guy sitting at the table in front of you is a 300 lb Bouncer with another man who is an X Navy Seal. Now counting the four of us, plus the Bartender, we are all Bonde! So tell me mister, do you still really want to tell that joke? The blind man pauses and says: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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