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There was this ad for a vintage Gretsch Bass here in Nashville a while ago. It is funny so I saved the text.

 

I LMAO when I read it.

 

"This bass will fix your car and then kick your a$$ if you talk $hit to it. this is a big, loud, fuzzy, funky bass. the majority of it (pickup, body, headstock/neck) are gretsch original but the bridge and the tuners were put on in the 80's. i bought it from the original owner and he used it in bar bands from the late 70's through the early 90's. there is enough bar/nicotine/alcohol patina on this ***** to get you grandfathered in to any $hitty punk band, any blackfoot cover band or any jam situation that is more about balls than expensive jeans. having trouble getting laid? how about a gretsch bass as a wingman. if you have a song with the line, 'don't be a pu$$y' in it, this bass is for you."

 

It still makes me laugh...

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