NeoConMan Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Sad? Little? On what do you base that wild *** guess, Sh!t Head? Who pissed in your breakfast?YOU, Sh!t Head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 YOU' date=' Sh!t Head.[/quote'] You owe me some flowers mister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 You owe me some flowers mister. Fxck off, Sh!t Head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Fxck off' date=' Sh!t Head.[/quote'] Let it out, Come on let it all out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squeezie Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Ahhh, religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Fxck off' date=' Sh!t Head.[/quote'] Cheer up NeoConMan, You know what they. Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life... If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps Don't be silly chumps Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing. And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life... For life is quite absurd And death's the final word You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow. So always look on the bright side of death Just before you draw your terminal breath Life's a piece of **** When you look at it Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You'll see it's all a show Keep 'em laughing as you go Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the right side of life... (Come on guys, cheer up!) Always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the bright side of life... (Worse things happen at sea, you know.) Always look on the bright side of life... (I mean - what have you got to lose?) (You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!) Always look on the right side of life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrosion of conformity Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Ahhh' date=' religion. [/quote'] Let's not get on that topic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrosion of conformity Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble' date=' give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life... If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps Don't be silly chumps Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing. And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life... For life is quite absurd And death's the final word You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow. So always look on the bright side of death Just before you draw your terminal breath Life's a piece of **** When you look at it Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You'll see it's all a show Keep 'em laughing as you go Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the right side of life... (Come on guys, cheer up!) Always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the bright side of life... (Worse things happen at sea, you know.) Always look on the bright side of life... (I mean - what have you got to lose?) (You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!) Always look on the right side of life...[/quote'] Life of Brian! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mick Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us? Attendee: Brought peace? Reg: Oh, peace - shut up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Reg: All right' date=' but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us? Attendee: Brought peace?[/quote'] You are gonna stay here all night until you spell it right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homz Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'm going to have to come to Neo's defense here. He is not little. I've seen the pics. Definitely not little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 I actually just found out who they are a couple months ago' date=' I plan to get some of their stuff. A guy who has a radio show here in Phoenix uses them for his theme music. I was talking to him and it occurred to me to ask about them. My wife listens to a couple of Christian stations off and on, she says the music is really good. Shame about the sh!t head trolls scent-marking threads at their leisure. We can hope (and pray) that the type of people I know in Houston will straighten his dumb *** out. He wouldn't last long spouting off such immature idiocy in public there, Texans have a way of fixin' things... :-) [/quote'] We try to listen to KLOVE when ever we can. It's a good station for when the kids are in the car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mick Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 You are gonna stay here all night until you spell it right. Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal? Matthias: No. Centurion: Crucifixion! Matthias: Oh. Centurion: Nasty, eh? Matthias: Could be worse. Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"? Matthias: Well, you could be stabbed. Centurion: Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours. It's a slow, horrible death. Matthias: Well, at least it gets you out in the open air. Centurion: You're weird! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mick Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 You are gonna stay here all night until you spell it right. Centurion: What's this' date=' then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house? Brian: It says, "Romans go home. " Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on ! Brian: Er, "Romanus" ! Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is? Brian: Er, er, "Romani" ! Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti'] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" ! Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt". Centurion: So, "eunt" is...? Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go". Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...? [He twists Brian's ear] Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative ! Centurion: Which is...? Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" ! Centurion: How many Romans? Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" ! Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it? Brian: Dative ! [the Centurion holds a sword to his throat] Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "Domum" ! Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...? Brian: Er, "Domum" ! Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times. Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir. Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 To be honest. I really don't read much of what you have to say... No offense. Your user name offends me' date=' your avatar offends me, and I don't think, as I remember, you own any Gibson guitars. Why are you even here? No offense. I just don't get the time spent here to stir the pot. Best of luck to ya though. You'll get a life someday.... Murph. [/quote'] Yeah, Murph this guys a piece of work. He's here because he only wants to stir the pot. It's probably his only social network. Unlike others who have church, sports, community service, or some other redeeming social circle. Even a knitting or book of the month club would be good for him. But he's only here to cause strife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal? Matthias: No. Centurion: Crucifixion! Matthias: Oh. Centurion: Nasty' date=' eh? Matthias: Could be worse. Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"? Matthias: Well, you could be stabbed. Centurion: Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours. It's a slow, horrible death. Matthias: Well, at least it gets you out in the open air. Centurion: You're weird! [/quote'] Brian: I am NOT the Messiah! Arthur: I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Grow up. Yes... indeed, grow up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 You don't understand alot of things.Start simpler' date=' it may help. As far as me and hatred - wrong. As far as me and intolerance - RIGHT ON! I refuse to suffer sh!t head fools and their asinine antics. Fxck off. (Sorry again CaliforniaMan!) Yeah Ditto. We're this far into the thread and he still thinks it's about him:-k Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mick Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 All I did was say to my wife, "That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Wise Man #1: We were led by a star. Brian's mother: Led by a bottle, more like. Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly! Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah! Followers: He is! He is the Messiah! Brian: Now, **** off! [silence] Arthur: How shall we **** off, O Lord? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 I just got back from my children's Spring Concert. It was great! The lady who is the music director had leukemia and God has healed her. She and the kids did such a great job. K-6 kids praising Jesus and offering a heartfelt evening of praise to our Lord. I'm so pumped up right now! PRAISE GOD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Pontius Pilate: So, yaw fatha was a Woman? Who was he? Brian: He was a Centurion, in the Jerusalem Garrisons. Pontius Pilate: Weally? What was his name? Brian: 'Naughtius Maximus'. [the Centurion laughs] Pontius Pilate: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison? Centurion: Well, no, sir. Pontius Pilate: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked? Centurion: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir. Pontius Pilate: [guard chuckles] What's so funny about "Biggus Dickus? " Centurion: Well, it's a joke name, sir. Pontius Pilate: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'. [guard chuckles] Pontius Pilate: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that. Brian: Can I go now, sir? [slap] Brian: Aaah! Eh. Pontius Pilate: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this! [guard chuckles] Pontius Pilate: Wight! Take him away! Centurion: Oh, sir, he - he only... Pontius Pilate: No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week. Centurion: Yes, sir. Come on, you. [takes the guard away as continues laughing histerically] Pontius Pilate: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. - - Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus... [another guard chuckles] Pontius Pilate: ... Dickus? [more chuckling] Pontius Pilate: What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name... 'Biggus'... [chuckle] Pontius Pilate: ... Dickus? [both guards chuckle] Pontius Pilate: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'... Incontinentia Buttocks Pontius Pilate: [Guards are laughing] Stop! What is all this? Pontius Pilate: [Laughing continues] I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not - Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Centurion: Where is Brian of Nazareth? Brian: You sanctimonious bastards! Centurion: I have an order for his release! Brian: You stupid bastards! Mr. Cheeky: Uh, I'm Brian of Nazareth. Brian: What? Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, I - I - I'm Brian of Nazareth. Centurion: Take him down! Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth! Victim #1: Eh, I'm Brian! Mr. Big Nose: I'm Brian! Victim #2: Look, I'm Brian! Brian: I'm Brian! Victims: I'm Brian! Gregory: I'm Brian, and so's my wife! Victims: I'm Brian! I'm Brian!... Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth! Centurion: All right. Take him away and release him. Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm only joking. I'm not really Brian. No, I'm not Brian. I was only - It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! It's a joke! I'm not him! I'm just having you on! Put me back! Bloody Romans! Can't take a joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Herald: Michaelangelo to see you, your Holiness. Pope: Who? Herald: Michaelangelo, the famous Rennisance artist, whose best known works include the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and the celebrated statue of David. Pope: Very well. Herald: In 1514 he returned to Florence, and then Pope: Alright, that's enough, that's enough. They've got it now. Herald: Oh. Michaelengelo: Good evening, your holiness. Pope: Evening Michaelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours. Michaelangelo: Oh yeah? Pope: I'm not happy about it. Michaelangelo: Oh dear. It took me an hour. Pope: Not happy at all. M. Is it the jello you don't like? Pope: Nope. Michaelangelo: They do add a bit of color, don't they. Oh, I know. You don't like the kangaroo. Pope: What kangaroo? Michaelangelo: No problem. I'll paint him out. Pope: I never saw a kangaroo. Michaelangelo: Err, he's right at the back. I'll paint him out, no sweat. I'll make him into a Disciple. Pope: Ah. M. Alright. Pope: That's the problem. M. What is? Pope: The Disciples. M. Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish. Pope: No, it's just that there are twenty-eight of them. Michaelangelo: Oh, well, another one will never matter then. I'll make the kangaroo into another one. Pope: No, that's not the point. Michaelangelo: Alright. Well, I'll lose the kangaroo. To be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it. Pope: That's not the point. There are TWENTY-EIGHT Disciples. Michaelangelo: Too many? Pope: Well of course it's too many! Michaelangelo: Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a real Last Supper. You know, not just any old last supper, kind of like a last meal or a finalsnack. But, you know, I wanted to give the impression of a real mother of a blowout, you know. Pope: There were only twelve Disciples at the Last Supper. Michaelangelo: Well maybe some of the other ones came along. Pope: There were only twelve altogether. Michaelangelo: Well maybe some of their friends came by, you know. Pope: Look, there were just twelve Disciples and Our Lord at the Last Supper. The Bible clearly says so. Michaelangelo: No friends? Pope: No friends. Michaelangelo: Waiters? Pope: No. Michaelangelo: Cabaret! P. No! Michaelangelo: You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene. I could lose a few, you know... Pope: Look, there were only twelve Disciples at... Michaelangelo: I've got it! I've got it! We'll call it the last but one supper. Pope: What? M; Well, there must have been one. If there was a last one, there must have been a one before that. So this is the Pentultimate Supper! The Bible doesn't say how many people were there, now does it? Pope: No... Michaelangelo: Well there you are then! Pope: Well look, the Last Supper is a significant event in the life of Our Lord! The Pentultimate Supper was not. Even if they had a Conjuror and a Mariachi(sp?) band. Now a Last Supper I commissioned from you, and a Last Supper I want! With twelve Disciples and one Christ! Michaelangelo: One? Pope: Yes, one! Now will you please tell me what in God's Name possessed you to paint this with three Christs in it? Michaelangelo: It works, mate! Pope: Works? Michaelangelo: Yeah! It looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones. Pope: There was only one Redeemer! Michaelangelo: I know that, we all know that. What about a bit of artistic licensce? Pope: Well one Messiah is what I want! Michaelangelo: I'll tell you what you want mate, you want a bloody photographer, that's what you want. Not a bloody great artist... Pope: (Leaps out of his seat) I'll tell you what I want! I want a Last Supper with one Christ, twelve Disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline acts, by Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid! Michaelangelo: Bloody fascist! Pope: Look, I'm the bloody Pope, I am! May not no much about Art, but I know what I like! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuckomf Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Back to the original topic, most contemporary Christian music makes me nauseous, but I really like Third Day. The music is great, and they're not over-the-top preachy like some other bands. And to take it back off topic again, just to get the ball rolling for the resident clown here, why don't you find a nice girl and take her to the movies, rather than spending two hours posting Monty Python quotes on an internet forum. If the ladies won't give you the time (which I'm guessing is the case, here), try going for a bike ride, or drawing a picture. Play a game with a friend, or help your parents around the house. The world is full of possibilities, slugger. Now go get 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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