Ryan H Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 ...and the bartender says: “Sorry we don’t serve minors”, so E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.” Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, “Get out! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.” E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, “you’re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.” Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. Found this and couldn't resist... Let's see what you guys have got. -Ryan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greybeard Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 ...and the bartender says: “Sorry we don’t serve minors”, so E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.” Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, “Get out! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.” E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, “you’re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.” Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. Found this and couldn't resist... Let's see what you guys have got. -Ryan The story continues....... C shouts EEEEEEE when getting out of jail. I was so D - pressed all I could think was G wiz A person could B really F’ d up if they stayed in there too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowboyBillyBob1 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I like that one Ryan. C is dressed real sharp and he freaks out when his twin brother Db walks in. The bartender will not serve him because he is a minor 2nd. They both decide to fade out and go home on Scale Street. Best I could do without taking a rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Long pause and then a crescendo of random notes come running in the bar demanding direction from the bartender. The bartender has one look at the cascade of discordance and demands a full stop. He listens to their demands one by one until one tenacious D stands out, solo before him and says, look I am very open but I have come here with A who is my relative and my hot headed son D who has brought his friend F who is very sharp. We come in harmony and together we stand as strong as Kirk Douglas in the movie Spartacus, who by the way has a cleft chin. At that point the bartender says ENOUGH!! Hold your breath and count to 7 or out the door to settle the score... Daveinspain... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 This is a bit of fun from 10CC. "I Bought A Flat Guitar Tutor". First, the lyrics alone; I bought a flat Diminished responsibility You're de ninth person to see To be suspended in a seventh Major catastrophe It's a minor point but gee Augmented by the sharpness of your See what I'm going through Ay to be with you In a flat by the sea Then an explanation. This extract courtesy of Wiki... "I Bought a Flat Guitar Tutor" is a song by 10cc appearing on their 1977 album, Deceptive Bends. The song is quite short and often thought of as a novelty piece amongst fans. The lyrics to the song are all puns for musical terminology. Whenever Eric Stewart or Graham Gouldman sing the name of a chord the chord is played as part of the music to the song. The chart below attempts to explain the complex idea. I bought A = A major (A C♯ E) [A] flat = A Flat major (A♭ C E♭) [A flat] diminished = A Flat diminished (A♭ Cb E♭♭) Responsibility (responsibilitE)= E Major (E G♯ B) You're de ninth = D9 (D F♯ A C E) Person to see = C Major (C E G) To be suspended = Bsus4 (B E F♯) in a seventh = A7 (A C♯ E G) [a seventh] major catastro- = A Major 7th (A C♯ E G♯) phe = E major (E G# B) It's a minor = A minor (A C E) point, but Gee = G major (G B D) [but gee,] Augmented = G augmented (G B D♯) [Gee, augmented] by the sharpness of your = G sharp augmented (G♯ B♯ D♯♯) See what I'm going through © = C Major A (A) = A Major to be (B) with you = B Major (B D♯ F♯) in a = A Major [in a] flat = A flat by the sea = C Major Finally, if you want to try to play along........and I wish you Good Luck! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epQ44Zbo15k P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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