dhanners623 Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Happy new year, everybody! Some songs just drop out of the sky and all you need to do is clean 'em up a little and they are done. Other songs fight you kicking and screaming until you wrestle them into submission. I am discovering "Uniontown" -- which I've exhibited here before -- is the latter. I played a rewritten version at an open mic a couple of weeks ago (open mics are rare here in Kuwait) and while it seemed to go over well, it just didn't feel right to me. It didn't say everything I wanted it to say. It just didn't have the right energy. (Were I back home in the Twin Cities, where I could hit an open mic any night of the week and road-test the various versions of the song, this process would've probably been much shorter.) So I went back to the drawing board and came up with this: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xjkhkXqBJPg For the video, I switched to my Epiphone IB'64 Texan. It is capoed at the second fret, using a partial capo that covers all but the low E string. I've also been playing the song on my Hot Rod Steel "Old Skool 12" resophonic guitar and it sounds pretty good. As always, constructive criticism is welcome. Thanks for watching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR GIBS Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Happy New Year! I like that performance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I liked your previous versions of the song, but I think I prefer this one as far as melody, rythm, and pacing Very nice! However, and I hope you don't mind me saying it, I think some of the lyrics and imagery are a little too close for comfort to Springsteen's "Youngstown". Lars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhanners623 Posted January 2, 2017 Author Share Posted January 2, 2017 I liked your previous versions of the song, but I think I prefer this one as far as melody, rythm, and pacing Very nice! However, and I hope you don't mind me saying it, I think some of the lyrics and imagery are a little too close for comfort to Springsteen's "Youngstown". Lars That's a constant concern for songwriters. I knew Springsteen had a song called "Youngstown," but had no recollection of the lyrics or the melody, so I purposefully did NOT listen to it while writing this song. After I finished the tune, I went and listened to it. All I can say is mine is original, and I couldn't have copied Springsteen because I didn't know his song. That said, he is a fairly linear/straightforward storyteller, and I try to be, too. There are a limited number of ways to tell this story, and I picked the way that made the most sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 That's a constant concern for songwriters. I knew Springsteen had a song called "Youngstown," but had no recollection of the lyrics or the melody, so I purposefully did NOT listen to it while writing this song. After I finished the tune, I went and listened to it. All I can say is mine is original, and I couldn't have copied Springsteen because I didn't know his song. That said, he is a fairly linear/straightforward storyteller, and I try to be, too. There are a limited number of ways to tell this story, and I picked the way that made the most sense to me. Yes, I guess two songs about two cities with the same fate are bound two have similarities. You wrote a great song! Are you happy with this version, or do you plan to craft it further? Lars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhanners623 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Share Posted January 3, 2017 Yes, I guess two songs about two cities with the same fate are bound two have similarities. You wrote a great song! Are you happy with this version, or do you plan to craft it further? Lars I think this one is done, although I'm trying to figure if the chorus should be a chorus or just a one-time-only bridge. But I've messed around with the song long enough and it finally says what I want it to say, in a way I want to say it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I like this...I don't hear Springsteen so much as Steve Earle, at his best. I vote for chorus over bridge: "King coal built this town-you might as well us it to burn it down" is a really well-crafted line, conveying the essence of the song, and bears the repeating, I think. Nice! 👍 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhanners623 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 I like this...I don't hear Springsteen so much as Steve Earle, at his best. I vote for chorus over bridge: "King coal built this town-you might as well us it to burn it down" is a really well-crafted line, conveying the essence of the song, and bears the repeating, I think. Nice! 👍 Thanks for the kind words. Earle has long been an influence. And you've convinced me; the song should have a chorus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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