Buc McMaster Posted May 12, 2018 Share Posted May 12, 2018 I must say developing the lyrics for this has been tortuous to this point. I try very hard to find the right words to convey an idea, remaining minimalistic, and for this writing at least, find an unconventional rhyme scheme. This one is pretty odd, rhyming the first, third and fourth lines in two places within the line and giving the second line a repetitive word that will appear in each verse. I have but the two verses for now......there will be two more following the refrain, which I have not spent any time on yet. I think it's self explanatory, but it's an attempt to inhabit an young man's reactions to a pretty girl he encounters. No video, just a short audio track. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0-wrZcnLTI Venus Resurrected Buc/May 2018 Turn around and take a step in my direction where you goin’ anyway a queen uncrowned or the Venus resurrected run aground on the unexpected hypnotized or am i just intoxicated it don’t matter anyway no disguise i feel so unsophisticated this could get so complicated Bear with me........this one is proving difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted May 12, 2018 Share Posted May 12, 2018 Fascinating that you are sharing your process for people. Way to go, Buc! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vw1300 Posted May 12, 2018 Share Posted May 12, 2018 Sounds good to me so far. Despite your very deliberate rhyming scheme, it doesn't sound forced or unnatural to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
62burst Posted May 12, 2018 Share Posted May 12, 2018 Those of you who do songwriting venture into an area way over my head. It’s nice to just listen to music, but learning the minutia of what makes a guitar sound as it does, and to dissect and play a favorite song, is one of the best ways to do music appreciation. Seeing you pull the curtain back, revealing the process just makes songwriting all the more daunting to me, and I suppose those who do break songs down to their melodic and lyrical nuts and bolts and can appreciate the craft more than I. Kind of makes my wanting to go right to the music seem like skipping the main course and going right to dessert. I have to really need to get it out, to communicate how I feel, for me to want to say something through a song. So, you’ve moved it up a half step? The second (atonal?) chord shape gets the listener to want to hear what’s next. Looking forward to seeing where the song goes for the refrain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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