Murph Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 I was laying on the Beach sun bathing when a little boy came along and poured something on my back he says that will make your back brown I said what is it he says gravy a ha ha ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted December 29, 2018 Author Share Posted December 29, 2018 Do you know if it's possible to take a skin graft from buttocks and apply it to someone who isn't a family member? Assskin for a friend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted December 29, 2018 Author Share Posted December 29, 2018 I walked into the Texaco E-Z Mart to get a drink . . . When I walked up I noticed these 2 police officers watching some dude who was smoking while pumping gas. I saw him & thought, "This guy didn't have any common sense & was he stupid?!!" With the cops right there too?! But anyway, I went in and got my drink. As I was checking out, I heard someone screaming. I looked outside and the dude's arm was on fire! He was swinging his arm and running around going crazy! I ran outside and the cops had put him on the ground and were putting the fire out with their water bottles. Then they put handcuffs on him and threw him in the police SUV . . . I was thinking "He shouldn't have been smoking near the pump while getting gas, but was that a crime?" But being the nosy person that I am, I asked the cops what they were arresting him for. The cop looked me dead in my eyes and said . . . "BRANDISHING A FIREARM!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted December 29, 2018 Author Share Posted December 29, 2018 Three ladies are chipping up to the fourth hole at River Hill Golf Club, when a naked man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green. The three ladies stand in awe. The first lady says, 'He is definitely not my husband.' The second lady, gazes and says, 'He is not mine either.’ After a very considered inspection, the third lady finally says, 'He's not even a member of this golf club!’. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted December 29, 2018 Author Share Posted December 29, 2018 I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
george wooden Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Thanks, Murph, that got my day off to to a great start Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanHenry Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 Thanks Murph, that's brightened up my day :lol: Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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