EVOL! Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Honestly people call us John and Yoko. Lucky you. My wife is Korea, but they call use Duke and Honey*. *If you don't read Doonesbury, you are missing out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Evol... Well... HyonHee is a pretty common name for a Korean girl, at least among folks in the Korean-American folks I was awfully close to in another life - and it works well switching it into English as "Honey." <grin> I'd write it in Hangul but I've already got too many pix up at this point in time. Sounds better to Anglophone perceptions than such as MiWha... m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted December 20, 2010 Author Share Posted December 20, 2010 Talking about marriage and stuff reminded me of a 14-liner from the immoral bard... m Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. Thanks M, very provocative. Unfortunately, in the past, Love was time's fool for me but alas I've found it now with an amazing woman studying to be a PsyD in clinical psychology. She's got plenty of material to work with and practice on! btw Milod, I've started dividing up my posts because of what you said once about not making single paragraph, long winded, nobody wants to read all this stuff posts. Artilery owl - best of luck to you on your impending marriage! Evol, my wife is Korean descent as well. Grew up in LA. We spent the weekend in Korea town with her relatives and friends. Food was amazing but man you gotta watch out for the soju. Glad we took taxis is all I can say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Love Koreatown in LA. I can't remember the name of the Korean hotel I stayed in a cupla nights preparing for a trip to Seoul some years ago, but the Korean-style breakfasts were wonderful. As I recall they had both European and Korean-style rooms. As for an error first time around... I resemble that remark. Odd thing is I think we both were fine folks who absolutely misread whether we'd be well-matched and didn't talk as well and as much as we should have. Heck, we dated off and on for a year and a half after the divorce became final... And as for Shakespeare... I'd simply note there's a difference between infatuation and "love." But... <chuckle> I think the same thing happens with guitars; it's just less uncomfortable to divest oneself of a guitar than a person chosen in error for partnership. m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff-7 Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Thanks guys for all the positive comments! She is single and hasn't made the best decisions with men. If you're a guitarist and have a job I'll arrange an introduction! Check and check, but I'm in Kansas I have a feeling it wouldn't work Just pokin' some fun at ya buddy, she is beautiful though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 I knew you were pokin fun -back at ya and Merry Christmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riffster Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Merry Christmas Tman and all. Beautiful family Sr. and great picture too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Merry Christmas Tman and all. Beautiful family Sr. and great picture too. Thanks Stiffhand and Merry Christmas to you. Our drummer lives in Nashville. He's constantly telling me stories of bumping into famous musicians. Must be pretty cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EVOL! Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Evol, my wife is Korean descent as well. Grew up in LA. We spent the weekend in Korea town with her relatives and friends. Food was amazing but man you gotta watch out for the soju. Glad we took taxis is all I can say. I heard Korea Town L.A. is insane. The Korean community here in Chicago ain't bad although most of the Koreans have moved to the 'burbs. And yes, watch out for that soju. It's pretty much vodka made from sweet potatoes and it will hurt you. Koreans are big drinkers. They are also like the Mediterraneans in that they never just drink. There is always food (anju) served with beer and booze. I never drink soju unless I have food too. You'll learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjay777 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Gratz and Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 A definite "yes" to eating with overdoing soju. Even then sometimes... <grin> Some of the best soju I had was from Gangnung - back when it was still spelled Kangnung. My wife is not Korean, but she's put on a 20+ course Korean dinner for 20+ "from Korea" Koreans and Americans who, with our Korean-American friends, figured it tasted as "Korean" as you'll get in the US. Even made her own kimchis when her health was better. But watch out for some of those little bottles of Ginsing juice. Sheesh. m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EVOL! Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 My wife is not Korean, but she's put on a 20+ course Korean dinner for 20+ "from Korea" Koreans and Americans who, with our Korean-American friends, figured it tasted as "Korean" as you'll get in the US. Even made her own kimchis when her health was better. Hats off to your wife. That is no small task. Koreans of my in-laws' generation are notoriously picky about their cuisine. Food is always first. Rotten service is a distant second. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 We've been immersed in Korean food this week, with the soju on the weekend. Been there before but this last weekend, it was the first time that we, as a married couple, had been out with a number of the people we saw so everyone had to make a toast with a full glass, bottoms up to the "new" couple. Even with the food, like I said, I'm glad for the taxis. Korea town is really something. Largest population out side of Soeul I believe. Really fun experience. I actually had people ask for our bank account number so they could transfer money as a gift. A tradition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Tman... I guess the best way to relate my feelings toward Korean culture in general is that my table manners have brought an assumption that I speak the language. <grin> And I can read a menu a bit. Hangul is easy to learn to read and write, which is how it was designed to be. Expect, however, after many years that you may be assumed to have so-acculturated that you are yourself "Korean" which, of course, you're not. As a result, some misunderstandings almost inevitably will arise over the most simple of things such as the timing and mode of a smile. That can bring some very sad circumstances among the closest of friends. It's not just "Korean" btw. Folks of good will and intent from even mildly different cultures too often find such difficulties, and too often even after decades of friendships. Any friendship is a two-way street; recognizing the additional overhead of different cultural backgrounds is a challenge that can be overcome if recognized, I think. Heck, I find U.S. urban folks difficult to understand on occasion. m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Tman... I guess the best way to relate my feelings toward Korean culture in general is that my table manners have brought an assumption that I speak the language. <grin> And I can read a menu a bit. Hangul is easy to learn to read and write, which is how it was designed to be. Expect, however, after many years that you may be assumed to have so-acculturated that you are yourself "Korean" which, of course, you're not. As a result, some misunderstandings almost inevitably will arise over the most simple of things such as the timing and mode of a smile. That can bring some very sad circumstances among the closest of friends. m What's funny is that my wife has more stress related to being Korean than I do being accepted. She was born and raised in LA. There is a real hierarchy in the culture centered around your elders (even those barely older than you), and position in life. The way one speaks the language depends on who is being spoken to. When I was toasted by anyone younger than me, one wrist was grasped by the other hand while clinking glasses. Same with shaking hands. Everyone understands when I don't follow the rules because I'm Caucasian but my wife gets frustrated because she sometimes offends others not meaning to because she acts like an American and doesn’t know all of the rules. She's a lot like me when it comes to the language too - My Mom's French but I'm not that great, her Korean is better than my French, but not much. People expect her to speak well and she's afraid most of the time because she feels she's being judged. Such is the life of an immigrant’s child. That being said though, she loves being in So. Cal because she fits in like everyone else. When she lived in another part of the country that will remain unamed, she was constantly being asked "where are you from?". She would say "Los Angeles", and then the inevitable answer would be, "No really, where are you from?". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EVOL! Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 What's funny is that my wife has more stress related to being Korean than I do being accepted. She was born and raised in LA. There is a real hierarchy in the culture centered around your elders (even those barely older than you), and position in life. The way one speaks the language depends on who is being spoken to. When I was toasted by anyone younger than me, one wrist was grasped by the other hand while clinking glasses. Same with shaking hands. Wow. I had to learn the culture and my sister in-law's husband reminds me from time to time even though I never forget. When I meet my wife's parents' friends I always bow and shake with my left hand supporting my right. When my father in-law pours my beer I always hold the glass with two hands. When I pour his it is with two hands. That being said though, she loves being in So. Cal because she fits in like everyone else. When she lived in another part of the country that will remain unamed, she was constantly being asked "where are you from?". She would say "Los Angeles", and then the inevitable answer would be, "No really, where are you from?". Reminds me of my wife's biggest pet peeve: Anyone asking her "Chinese or Japanese?" The look it solicits could melt a lead wall. Or when we go for dim sum and the waiter tries to talk to her in Chinese (Cantonese I assume). Ouch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Wow. I had to learn the culture and my sister in-law's husband reminds me from time to time even though I never forget. When I meet my wife's parents' friends I always bow and shake with my left hand supporting my right. When my father in-law pours my beer I always hold the glass with two hands. When I pour his it is with two hands. Reminds me of my wife's biggest pet peeve: Anyone asking her "Chinese or Japanese?" The look it solicits could melt a lead wall. Or when we go for dim sum and the waiter tries to talk to her in Chinese (Cantonese I assume). Ouch. That's hilarious and I know exactly what you're talking about! She used to get a bit peeved when people would call us John and Yoko and say "I'm not Japanese and I'm nothing like Yoko" but now she laughes and even encourages it. Any costume party we go to I take my acoustic and play "I should have known better" and "Norwegian wood" and she looks at me like Yoko used to look at John. Big fun and we're a hit at parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Yeah, guys... You perhaps should compare notes. <grin> One thing I always noted, though, among servicemen who married Korean girls while on their one-year deployment in Korea is that they assumed (dumb) that the girls were submissives because of the cultural artifacts of "propriety." Big, big error. Traditionally the wife handles the cash. These idiots wouldn't give her the checkbook and eventually their apparent lack of respect - as perceived from her side - resulted in a divorce. Youth, of course, on both sides added to that. I lived roughly 20 years on the fringes of the K-A community and got to know some great people, but some of the frustrations I mentioned brought a lotta hurt feelings, in retrospect on both sides... and that was "business" related rather than by marriage. So... open communications are more important than even I realized those years ago. Allusions are that much less likely to be communicated. For what it's worth, on the living room wall are pix of Yulgok and his mother, Shin Saimdang... a turtle ship, modern and repro ceramics... <grin> m m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 I lived roughly 20 years on the fringes of the K-A community and got to know some great people, but some of the frustrations I mentioned brought a lotta hurt feelings, in retrospect on both sides... and that was "business" related rather than by marriage. So... open communications are more important than even I realized those years ago. Allusions are that much less likely to be communicated. m Great points as always M, open communication is critically important. I actually came up with my own aphorism relating to the need for communication because (and this is it): People are rarely thinking what I think they're thinking. Sounds goofy but it is true. Luckily since we're both immigrant children we perceive life in a very similar way. also I cede all power on important things to her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Tman... If I had it to do over, I would be far, far more open about feelings and thoughts and how they are expressed than I was. As I mentioned before, a smile is not just a smile, and the timing and use of a smile is often different from culture to culture. That's a lesson I learned rather late... m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Tman... If I had it to do over, I would be far, far more open about feelings and thoughts and how they are expressed than I was. As I mentioned before, a smile is not just a smile, and the timing and use of a smile is often different from culture to culture. That's a lesson I learned rather late... m Daily, at some point, I sing "Oh La La" (written by or at least made famous by Rod Stewart) to myself: I wish that I knew what I know now... when I was younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowdiddley Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Merry Christmas Tman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 Merry Christmas Tman! Merry Christmas to you Bowdiddley and your family and best wishes for a happy, healthy New Year! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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