Lars68 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 That's the best by far..more tuneful for sure. As far as the song goes..the alarm..alarm...work work ..etc repetition parts are a bit awkward.Seems to be too many words - to my ear anyway.Almost sounds a little bit Wiggles..not sure if you have them where you are. I probably shouldn't knock the Wiggles :mellow:.If it's an important part of the song to you...keep it.Mine is just one amateur opinion. But there is a decent song in there,bit of tweaking to get a smoother lyrical flow. Cheers mate. Need to google Wiggles. I know who Biggles is, but not Wiggles :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatbaroque Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Wiggles are very popular children's entertainers.A lot of their songs have repetitive parts...cause that's what children enjoy.It was a light hearted comparison and i didn't mean to imply anything much...except the repetition was a common theme...no offence to your song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwalker201 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Lars, I think it has came a long way from your first posting of it. Keep working on it til it sounds the way you want it to sound. As with many we are our own worst critics, heck at least you can write a song, I wish I could Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 One last go for a while, for anyone who is still tuning in. https://soundcloud.com/lars1968/over-and-over-yet-another-try Recorded while being bored in a hotel room in Stockholm, on a tiny 1938 Kalamazoo KG 3/4 Sport. Great travel guitar! Lars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capmaster Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Nice sounding guitar, but perhaps a bit too soft to cut through to your ears while singing. The intonation of your vocals is more critical than in previous recordings. Just to get it right: Do you wear headphones during recording or not? I ask since always the same notes seem troubled... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted March 27, 2015 Author Share Posted March 27, 2015 I had a last go. The title says it all. https://soundcloud.com/lars1968/over-and-over-the-best-i-can At least emotionally this one is closer to what I'm aiming for.... Lars By rhe way, capmaster, singing and playing is without headphones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 It's great. I still think this song could be played up a whole step and be better for your vocal range, but you can be proud of this song, Lars. Cap makes a great point. When I record multitrack, I wear a cheap pair of cans when creating each track, especially vocals. Doing so defitely helps tame my wandering pitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 Thanks Sal, I appreciate it. I somehow feel that both of these songs I have written are better than my performances. I can't do them justice. That is why I keep trying. I have worked incredibly hard for almost twenty years at learning to play the guitar, without being able to go beyond simple stuff. Writing these songs was the total opposite. I hardly had to work at it. In a matter of hours I had the song outlines ready. This really caught me by surrprise, and now I kind of want to find out what the songs are worth. There is an inner voice telling me, "you know you have no musical ear or abilities. Of course these songs aren't any good?" I want to be able to perform them so others can hear them as I hear them in my head and prove that voice wrong. I am determined to work on my singing to eventually be able to get it right. Lars Sal, if you ever think about a new song to practice on, you are always free to give one of mine a shot! :-) Also, I will try capoing up again to see what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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