Lars68 Posted March 3 Share Posted March 3 Here is a song I wrote a few years back, but recently did a lot of rework to. I changed some vocals and added some ”choir voices” and other small mixing changes. I think it might be one of my better songs, at least as far as the production and sound. What do you think? Lars LONG TIME COMING It's Saturday night by the river Where the lights of my home shine from the far banks I'm holding your hand gently in mine Here's where I belong, for this moment I'm giving thanks I see it...I feel it It's here with me now I see it...I feel it It's been a long time coming When we first met I was lost at sea Like driftwood never floating to the shore But you salvaged me and we built a home A fortress strong as one I'd never seen before I see it...I feel it It's here with me now I see it... I feel it It's been a long time coming We are cosmic dust by Darwinian law No God of the gaps, but tonight is a revelation As autumn leafs fall along our path We walk with peace here at our destination I see it...I feel it It's here with me now I see it...I feel it It's been a long time coming Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duluthdan Posted March 3 Share Posted March 3 Nice recording - guitar sounds very good - and your voice is finding its way - keep writing man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 I'd leave Darwin out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 48 minutes ago, Murph said: I'd leave Darwin out of it. Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean? Lars Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buc McMaster Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 Yes......the reference to Darwin and god is a bit wacky relative to the rest of the lyric (and Darwin wasn't an astrophysicist anyway). In the first verse it's "my home".......in the second it's "we built a home"..........trivial, perhaps, but perspectively inconsistent. "I see it.....I feel it.......it's here with me now"? What is it and why is it only you seeing and feeling whatever "it" is? I agree that the production is good on this one Lars, but your voice is quite monotone, lacks dynamics, you often stumble with phrasing and your pitch is.....well....... I applaud your fearlessness and tenacity, sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 16 minutes ago, Buc McMaster said: Yes......the reference to Darwin and god is a bit wacky relative to the rest of the lyric My thoughts, as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 (edited) With respect to forum guidelines regarding what topics are off limits, I will preface by saying that the lyrics are based on my experiences, which of course, are not shared by all. The lyrics are about searching and finally finding, in one particular spiritual moment in time, a sense of belonging, of love, of family, of happiness, and hope for the future. All of that is what the ”it” stands for in the song. The lines about Darwin was just a way to juxtapose the material with the supernatural, as a way of saying that even I, as a non-believer, can have moments of great spirituality and awe of the world and my place in it. I know very well that Darwin was a biologist, among other things, not an astrophysicist. Since I believe in evolution and that we are made up of the same chemical building blocks as the rest of the universe, from my point of view, it makes sense to write, “we are cosmic dust by Darwinian law”, but the last part of that passage “but tonight is a revelation” opens the door for the yet unknown. That's the juxtaposition. For me, these lyrics are personal, and not wacky, but I understand how they can come across that way. As for the “my home” vs “we built a home”, the first means literally my house, as in the building where I live, while the “we built a home” refers to raising a family and a feeling of home, not the physical act of building a house to live in. I actually think of it as a strength having a word with two meanings in the lyrics. Anyhow, successful or not, that was at least my intention with the lyrics. As for the singing, yeah I wish I could do better, but it is what it is…😢 Lars Edited March 4 by Lars68 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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