Awkward Public Moments...

[NeoConMan]

Today I went to the Arizona Department Of Transportation to renew my Commercial Driver's License.

 

There's an office in Goodyear that does stuff only for big trucks, so it's not like your usual DMV office.

Thank God!

 

 

So absent all the screaming kids, blue-haired old ladies who can't walk - let alone drive, acne-afflicted

teens with their ever-present cell phones and video games, and the usual miscreants and bums, this office

is pretty much dedicated to people who need a commercial license and the blessing of the TSA.

 

Mostly men, mostly employed and pressed for time, very quiet and courteous to all.

 

So I took care of all my business and had to wait a few minutes for my new license.

Decided to go to the bathroom real quick, and while I was in there my cell phone rings.

 

(Don't even get me started on cell phones in the bathroom...)

 

Turns out it's Mrs. Neo, and nobody else is in the bathroom, so I answered it.

Spoke briefly to her as I was preparing to walk out the door, ending the conversation with "I love you too."

 

 

 

I looked at the men seated closest to the bathroom as I walked out the door, and realized they just heard me

walking out of the men's room telling somebody that I love them....

 

DOH!

 

 

This is the kind of stuff they made episodes of Seinfeld about.

 

[charlie brown]

Well, as long as they didn't smile, and flutter their eyes at you, or start following you,

you're safe!

 

CB

[MojoRedFoot]

I was at a local guitar store looking for a lefty locking nut (my wife prefers to play lefty and I was redoing a right handed guitar for her). I ask a clerk for one. He's says they don't have any cuz right and left are the same. I gave him a look like "You dumb f***" and left. No need to shop where people don't know what the hell they are selling.

[Corrosion of conformity]

The people who would judge you for saying that aren't worth your time. You know what happened.

[NeoConMan]

Just remembered another one;

 

This was in western Kansas where I grew up.

Often called the Buckle of the Bible Belt.

People are pretty straight-laced, quiet and conservative.

Think "Footloose" and Kevin Bacon...

 

 

Early 80's, I was in a small neighboring town on a job and decided to skip my baloney sandwich.

Went into a little Dairy Queen-type restaurant for lunch and ordered a burger.

Got my change, the lady gave me my soda, and I decided to go to the bathroom to wash up.

 

There was a door at one end of the counter with a sign that read "BATHROOMS" - with an 'S' on the end.

Plural, right?

 

So I walk over and open the door, swinging it wide open in full view of the dining room.

As I proceed thru and turn to look where I'm going, I almost fell on a lady sitting on the toilet - right there!!!

 

What I thought was a door - leading to a hallway - that would lead to the bathroom(s) turned out to be

 

THE BATHROOM

 

Like, the only bathroom in the place.

About the size of a closet.

 

Oh my God!!!

I slammed the door before she could do anything but gasp for a breath.

 

Well, there was nothing left for the imagination where this poor young lady was concerned.

I can tell you that she was indeed a naturally curly brunette...

 

 

 

Jeez, now what?!!

 

 

 

Everybody in the dining room was looking down or away to avoid eye contact.

The tension in the air was palpable.

 

I stood there for a minute considering my options.

I was a BIG long-haired shaggy kid who just gained carnal knowledge without consent in a strange town.

I know NONE of these people.

 

Screw this.

 

I left the soda on the table and walked out without my burger.

Drove off hoping nobody got my license plate number.

Never went back in that place again.

[RichCI]

Sing lead vocals while wearing spandex pants and nothing else will ever embarrass you again.