Murph
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Posts
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Days Won
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Posts posted by Murph
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God Bless Texas.
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Sounds like a Louisiana name.
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22 hours ago, scriv58 said:
And that was just yesterday right murph?
No, I was a young man.
She made a convincing argument, as I recall.....
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A genie grants three wishes to an old lady.
She says, "I want to be young again."
poooof
She's young again.
"I want my little house to be turned into a beautiful mansion."
poooof
She's now living in a beautiful mansion.
"I want my cat to be turned into a handsome young man!"
poooof
Her cat is now a handsome young man.
"Oh cat, all my fantasies have come true! Take me in your arms, take me upstairs and make mad, passionate love to me!"
The cat says, "Oh darlin', you should've thought about that a long time ago, before you had me fixed."-
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A guy limped into a Dairy Queen and ordered a banana split.
The attendant began to make it for him and said "Crushed nuts?" And the guy said, No, I just have a bad knee."
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I told my boss that he needs to raise my salary because two companies are after me.
Boss: "What companies are those?"
Me: "The electricity company and the water company."-
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Are you from Louisiana?
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An old hooker once told me you can't put a price on experience...
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Sorry for your loss. That's too damned young.
I've known many "local legends" from many locations over my many decades of gigging around the country and am always amazed at the talent that goes mostly unnoticed "paying dues" in local bars.
May God bless em' all.
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8 hours ago, JuanCarlosVejar said:
That’s because Gibson is no longer attending the NAMM show ,
It's become a carnival of fools, I don't blame Gibson.
Stay above the sewer.
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Pattie Boyd?
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Outstanding, Buc.
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22 hours ago, jvi said:
this year, be wary of video on line stuff- a robot with initials a i may be sending them to confuse ....or excite...or incite
Pretty much the same thing that people have been doing for years...
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6 minutes ago, DanvillRob said:
The office told her, I was absent that day....she said, but his car is in the parking lot!
I left it there for safe keeping....
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Is this winter gonna be cold?
The Indians on the Aamjiwnaang First Nation reservation in Grand Bend asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the Canadian Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’
‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the Canadian Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’
‘Yes,’ the man at Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the Canadian Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’
‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’
‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, ‘According to our satellite images......The Indians are collecting an astounding amount of firewood !’-
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It was so cold in D.C. today...
that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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It was so cold in D.C. today...
that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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As I looked at my naked body in the mirror...
I thought to myself, "I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea any moment now."
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The processing centers are heated for employees. The trucks are heated.
It's not like they're gonna leave it on the porch at Bozeman.
I'd get this show on the road.
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"You parked in my spot again..."
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4 minutes ago, PrairieDog said:
Remember back in the early days,
Bits and pieces...
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She had a unique voice, for sure.
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The idea and the planning and decision to video it in1970 is also part of the coolness.
To me.
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Proper vigilantism often requires strategy.
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Stupid Jokes
in The Gibson Lounge
Posted
Moishe is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.
One day he arrives home looking downcast.
"That's it," he tells his wife Miriam. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."
Miriam sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea with a piece of cake. As they sit down, she says, "Why don't you take my brother Herman with you and give it one more try."
"That's no good," sighs Moishe. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three," says Miriam, "but his eyesight is perfect."
So the next day, Moishe heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law Herman. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway.
He turns to Herman. "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replies Herman. "I have perfect eyesight."
"Where did it go?" asks Moishe.
"I don't remember."