BluesKing777 Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Milk and Avocados. A wife asks her husband: "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6." A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him: "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied: "They had avocados." If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time. My work here is done. Water in the carburettor. WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous " WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car? WIFE: "In the pool" HE MUST PAY. Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said: "He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you." Mum said: "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you." Today's Short Reading from the Bible. From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth." Then He made the earth round ... and He laughed and laughed and laughed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluesKing777 Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 ..... Marriage Mathematics & Statistics..... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. HAPPINESS: To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. LONGEVITY: Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. MEMORY: Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. APPEARANCE: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. PROPENSITY TO CHANGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. COMPREHENSION: There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-minor7 Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 The podium is calling - stand-up comedy with guitar. A little timing plus a few chords with wise-funny lyrics and there you go. . Actually it a difficult genre - those who 'have it' get popular like semi-saints. No matter what scale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluesKing777 Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 The podium is calling - stand-up comedy with guitar. A little timing plus a few chords with wise-funny lyrics and there you go. . Actually it a difficult genre - those who 'have it' get popular like semi-saints. No matter what scale. Much as I would like to say I made the above jokes up, I have to admit cutting and pasting them from a friend's email.... [smile] [smile] BluesKing777. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jedzep Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 You're digging a hole, my friend. Tread cautiously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L8_4thesh0w Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. It took me a long time to realize I was never gonna win one for that very reason! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitarjtb Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. It took me a long time to realize I was never gonna win one for that very reason! The secret to getting along with a woman.....Shut up as soon as you lose an argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mountainpicker Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Men play the game but women know the score. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Men play the game but women know the score. And...we've usually read the rules inside of the top of the box. 😜 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rambler Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Rawk. The missus was also amused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 There are two ways to win an argument with a woman... ......Neither one works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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