Murph Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 After my divorce I missed my ex once but then got the scope sighted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted April 19, 2019 Author Share Posted April 19, 2019 William Shatner has discontinued his range of ladies lingerie. Apparently “Shatner Panties” proved an unpopular name choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted April 19, 2019 Author Share Posted April 19, 2019 It’s called cranapple juice, because crapple juice is just bad marketing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted April 19, 2019 Author Share Posted April 19, 2019 And it’s almond milk because no one is going to buy nut juice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted April 19, 2019 Author Share Posted April 19, 2019 A midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted April 19, 2019 Author Share Posted April 19, 2019 You're a loser. If there was a contest for losers you'd come in second. Because you're a loser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted April 19, 2019 Author Share Posted April 19, 2019 Socrates: to do is to be Plato: to be is to do Scooby: do be do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratherbwalkn Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 My favorite tile of a thirties blues song was "How can i miss you if you won't go away" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpbiii Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 A short poem written by my sister. "Sometime I Miss Him." Last night I ran into my ex. Then I backed up and ran into him again. Sometime I miss him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 This new grade school teacher is trying to impress the kids and tells them that she's a trained psychologist. Then she said, "If anyone in here thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After about 15 seconds, no one stands-up, but then Little Johnny stands. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, do you think you're stupid?" Little Johnny says, "No ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there by yourself." If you're good at handling "politically incorrect" humor, find David Allan Coe's adult songs on YouTube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drathbun Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 When Frank Sinatra introduced his new wife to his mother: Frank: Mia Mama. Mama Mia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 Just before the start of the funeral, a gentleman asked the widow if she’d mind if he said a word. She assented, and when it was his turn, the gentleman stood, faced the gathering, and said “Plethora.” Then he sat down. Afterward, the widow approached the man and, wiping a tear away, said “Thank you; that means alot.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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