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My Dad and I watched this movie PEPE last night


duane v

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Good on ya for having a relationship with your father and spending time with him...

 

I've been estranged from my own and reports are that he now suffers from a pretty bad case of dementia and probably no longer even knows who I am/was and is also suffering from cancer @ 73 y/o...

 

I haven't really had any kind of meaningful relationship with him since I was about 18 and had to find father figures in friends and family; other than...

 

It warms my heart to see those able to maintain a better family dynamic, especially with their fathers as I am a step-father of my daughter that is the highlight and meaning of my life...

 

I love her dearly and only hope she will some day hold me in much higher regard than I hold my own real bio-dad...

 

Again, Good on ya!!!

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Go visit him. You will regret it otherwise.

 

I truly appreciate the sentiment, and I fully understand the ramifications, but sadly I won't...

 

It took me a long time to come to terms with our estrangement and my life has been far happier without the turmoil and disappointment of never being able to please him or be good enough for him...

 

I absolutely don't mean to hijack this thread but wanted to answer that generous sentiment meant for my benefit...

 

We're estranged for a reason for just about 30 years and when I accepted that and made my peace about it is when my life started to flourish and I began to enjoy my life and myself...

 

I get what you're saying, but I washed my hands of his intimidation and overbearing control...

 

I freed myself by letting go. I've made my peace a very long time ago...

 

I have a dad, he's the Patriarch of my hunting clan. The 75 y/o that took me under his wing when my parents divorced when I was 15 and raised me like I was one of his own. I love him dearly and he's been more of a dad to me than my bio-father ever was...

 

Funny thing is my bio-father's sisters adore me and we cherish each other and they too don't think much of him and we've all come to terms with our happier family without his control-freak nature marring our lives...

 

My comments are based upon my lack of a "dad" that I can go visit and sit down to watch a movie with, but I have a dad that still goes hunting in The Great North Woods with me every year on our annual trek for deer and it is a wonderful part of my life. While I love him for adding me to his 4 boys and daughter that he raised himself when his wife left him about the same time my parents divorced, I do miss the relationship I see others have with their dads that I just don't have the luxury of knowing for myself... I am lucky enough that he will make time for me if I simply show up on his doorstep, but I also don't want to monopolize that goodness in his heart from his actual bio children that all also need to divvy up his time...

 

But I don't hold onto what I wish would be, when I know what actually would be had I continued to subject myself to my bio-father's nature thru the course of our lives...

 

I don't miss what would have been, but I miss what I wish could have been, but never ever would be... It's not something I fret over because I know it would just never be what I'd wished it were and it would always have been toxic and negative and I've been much better off without it in my life, especially given the fortune I found in the surrogate dad that did give me goodness in my life...

 

Anywho, I apologize for the thread hijack, I just wanted to answer the supposition and respond to Surf's kind support sentiment...

 

Just tryin' to say I admire such things that so many take for granted in life...

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Jeez, that's so sad, I genuinely feel for you mate. But like you say, sounds like you've come to terms with it all. That's good too.

 

Think I'll grab a bottle of whiskey, the girlfriend, and have a root, that'll cheer me up again.

 

Oh, before I go, the reason why I'm here. What's a PEPE?

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My dad was fairly strict and controlling, but he mellowed with age. As a major plus, though, he's always played guitar! Not professionally, but he's pretty good -- his chords always cover all six strings, like the old big band swing guitarists, I guess. He's 92 now and still gets out on the golf course. I live in a different state, but I've started calling him once a week.

 

He had a major surgery just a couple years ago, didn't think he was going to make it, or thought he'd end up tied to a walker at least. But no, he's a tough old coot. I figured he wouldn't be getting around as much, and I had the bright idea of getting him a Gibbie LP so he'd have something to do. At the time, I knew next to nothing about guitars. I researched LPs for months and got him a new Gibbie LP Studio, and my brother got him a nice little Fender amp. He plays the thing every day. He RAVES about the Gibson. He can't say enough about it.

 

Doing that research really started me down a path, though. I couldn't just stop there, could I? I'd played acoustics in the past, before I broke two fingers on my left hand, resulting in a bit less flexibility, but now I was looking at electrics. So I got an Epi Dot. Gorgeous guitar! A little later I got and Epi LP Standard plustop. Then an Epi ES339 Pro. I've now got 10 guitars. My dad's the cause of this affliction!

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A ranch hand...

 


And I really didn't mean to be a downer this time of year for anyone... Really, it's OK and I'm good with it all...

 

In fact it warms my heart to see guys like Duane and others spending time with their dads!

 

 

Ah, thanks Jim. What we call, a Jackaroo.

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