Mr. Robot Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I thought i would share this with you guys. A TRIP TO COSTCO Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's *** and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andre S Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retrosurfer1959 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I have a niece like that we all used to tease, but I stopped a feew years back when I realized that she may be a little simple sometimes but she always has a huge smile on her face and goes through life with a smile for everyone and honestly most people smile back even the cynical sarcastic old SOB's like me. so be kind to the gullible simple people they may never run the world but they seem happy in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeBudfrumHull_SG Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I was about to go to bed when I read your post. Hilarious ! Laughed my *** off ! Now I'm wide awake again ... Damn you Mr. Robot ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danb Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I believe I just woke everyone up from laughing.................good one!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Dad gum it! Now I gotta change my shirt. I just know the coffee will leave a stain. ... Costco won't let me shop there anymore. What? Costco don't appreciate free entertainment for their customers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thundergod Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 LMFAO Great story thanks for sharing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riffster Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 A friend of mine, girl that I met at a church group was telling us this long story that a guy she sat next to on a plane told her. Basically the guy's God was "Luck" so he went in detail as to how his religion worked. When she was done telling the story I said "that sounds made up" and I laughed, she looked at me and said who would make something like that up? she'd been had. She had a little epiphany right there, she went onto this thoughtful stare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledzep59 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 That is hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bscott Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 In addition you can also do the Bill Engvall thing - here's your sign!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xdistancex Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 This is fantastic thanks for sharing!! I just laughed kinda loud at 4:45am oops! hope noone woke up! haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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