How do you deal with stress?

[zigzag]

Exercise probably works best.

 

Transcendental meditation works well, but these days, it's very expensive to learn.

[Silenced Fred]

Nathan...

 

You may have kinda ignored what a couple of us have written but...

 

Think about this: Real stress brings out a combination of physical and mental responses that are designed to keep your head and body focused on doing something. A friend of mine in Paris who has maybe a dozen years on me calls that the "lizard brain" sort of response. Us "critters" have been doing that long before we were people.

 

Getting rid even of the technical cause of stress may or may not end it' date=' as in "To take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them." <grin>

 

Problem is, especially with "family" or "work," stresses come from factors that even if the cause goes away tomorrow, the psycho-physical response doesn't entirely disappear.

 

So usually something that releases some of the physical and mental responses to "something else" literally is good for both the mind and body - at minimum bringing them into a degree of harmony.

 

The little "exercises" I suggested are variations on stuff proven to work along those lines more or less for as long as mankind has been writing - in the East, at least.

 

You may have thought I was teasing or being flip. I wasn't.

 

m

[/quote']

 

I have been listening to what you guys have been writing. Yesterday, I went out with my friends, goofed around, then walked around for about an hour and a half. We are going to filming some kind of stupid movie, which I will be writing and playing the music for. Should be a good distraction for the meantime.

 

I did the breathing stuff you suggested, it helped when I came home. I just relaxed and it helped a lot. I feel better today than yesterday. I thought about a lot of stuff, and realized that a lot of the stuff causing stress was miniscule and easily dealt with.

 

Thanks everyone

[Hector Arcadius]

As far as the original topic of the thread is concerned, I will just support physical exercise, of any kind. The endorfines that will start pumping out, the energy that you will spend, the fact that you will take your mind out of it, all these thing will help you IMMENSELY. Tip: Always work out with your favourite playing loud. It does wonders!

 

As for the problem in itself, I will have to echo the main opinion of others: clarify to yourself, most of all, which problem is yours and which is not. Trying to figure out which problem in this life is actually yours, is a real craft in itself. It will take you years (Cruz says it took him 40, it took me about the first 30) but is one of the most important and crucial aspects of ''growing up''. Neo's advice may have seem ''hard'' on many, but pretty much...

 

If I may, here's how I would go:

 

1. Clarify to my sis that I don't like it. Yes, it affects my way of life and brings more problems to my home. It is my problem unfortunately and I don't like to have any more, especially at an age when I have to make important decisions for my future (this is your age man...).

 

2. Your problems are not mine. Do what you wanna do with them. I only deal with mine.

 

3. Support your parents, because they are the ones having the problem, which is, unfortunately, their own kid.

 

4. But... do not support them in their possible decision to support your sister. Most probably she will continue asking for more ''support'' in the future. Financial, emotional, whatever.

 

5. Go on with your life. And display that you have understood the majot part of growing-up: dealing with your own problems and taking full responsibility for your actions and decisions. She should do the same.

 

 

 

Good luck man.

[TommyK]

Life lesson:

 

Love your sister.

 

If she 'lost her job because she either didn't show up or was chronically late' She has another problem. Drugs? men? alcohol? She needs to get this fixed.

 

Some people, and in my now 50 years of observation, usually women, cannot seem to exist outside of the usual soap opera turmoil. If they aren't in it, they just got out of it and are figuring out a way of getting back into it. My wife's sisters have been wallowing in their own separate cesspool for 50 years with no apparent chance of change. My wife has just now figured out SHE doesn't OWN their problems. She is much less stressed now.

 

At 22 your sister can probably, if she wants to, turn away from that life style. Have a heart to heart sit-down with her. At this point in your life, you are the only sane voice she will listen to because you are her brother. Find out what the real problem is and tell her to grow up and fix it. If she cannot do that, she needs to get out of the house and quit sponging off you and your folks.

 

The only problem you should and can step in on is if she is being physically abused. If she's being beat, call the cops. The court can place a restraining order against the coward without her consent. Anything else, she has to fix.

 

Above all, DO NOT FINANCE this behavior. Your folks are, in a way, but maybe they see a glimmer of hope and are helping 'this one last time'. YOU can make a difference if you want. But, you do not OWN this problem. Offer advice and a hug, but that's all. When you get out on your own you have more control over how you let this affect your life. Just don't let today's drama screw up your life.

 

Don't get too upset with your parents. Parents are all amateurs until they die. They are probably doing the best they know how.

[grampa]

Exercise probably works best.

 

Transcendental meditation works well' date=' but these days, it's very expensive to learn.[/quote']

 

That has been my way of dealing with stress for close to 50 years. Works well without negative side effects.

[Dom_JEM]

Yeah....

Or maybe sex?

 

its like you was reading my mind :(

[zigzag]

Yeah....

Or maybe sex?

 

"What do you mean, 'It's disgusting!' I haven't even taken my clothes off yet."- Woody Allen

 

Even sex can be stressfull.

[Dom_JEM]

Even sex can be stressfull.

 

maybe your doing it wrong....

[NeoConMan]

Some people' date=' .... usually women, cannot seem to exist outside of the usual soap opera turmoil.

If they aren't in it, they just got out of it and are figuring out a way of getting back into it. [/quote']

I dated several women like that over the years.

Took me awhile to realize that age does NOT bring maturity to women any more than men.

Unless they've borne children and raised them effectively, most women don't change much from what they

were at age 15 - they simply learn to conceal it better as a survival mechanism.

 

When I was in my thirties, I dated some older women who I thought had it together.

Yeah, right.....

 

Tons of debt - despite a great job, terrible with money, and borderline psychotic when you got close enough.

Controlling, petty when they felt neglected, and downright evil when they got pissed.

 

 

One in particular fit the bill Tommy describes;

I saw someplace, in an email or something, a woman smiling proudly with her hands on her hips.

The caption below read "Chaos, panic & disorder - my work here is done!"

 

I told this woman I had chosen to stay away from that it fit her like a glove.

She wasn't happy unless she was miserable, and misery loves company.

[tazzboy]

In others Neo the only this women knows how to be happy is to make other people's life Miserable.