Time Out Kids???

[lazarusvt84]

First, kids are all different which requires wisdom on the part of parents. I have four (2 +2) ages 10 to 22. Boys and girls are also wired differently. I have a strong opinion on the matter, as I've seen irrefutable evidence over the last 20 years (across the three States we've lived) that discipline INCLUDES spanking...especially for boys. "Shepherding A Child's Heart" by Ted Tripp is a MUST read for all young parents...in fact, I just sent my brother-in-law a copy today because his 3-yr old drove everyone nuts over the holidays.

 

 

[duane v]

LOL!!!! too funny

[Big Bill]

LOL!!!! too funny

 

But true.

 

Go ahead and delete my post.

[milod]

I kid that I don't like doing work - taking pix - in schools because kids smell bad and pass disease, which in the latter case is certainly true.

 

But I tend increasingly to blame parents who seem not to care about their children's actions - such as in guitar stores. By age 4 there's no way I would have strummed guitars and knocked over guitars on stands, yet I've seen parents studiously ignore their offspring doing just that.

 

Then there's the issue of drugging up little boys so they'll behave.

 

Stepford children, I think.

 

When I did that kiddie concert thing, we had very little practice time and with kids kindergarten through fourth grade, it was a bit of a struggle which I solved, as I've written here before, by the threat of imaginary trap doors that could drop kids into that huge pit of gray green greasy gopher guts. They were fine - but made big mention of it in their thank-you note.

 

They knew I cared, for them and the concert.

 

m

[Andy R]

Well I have to say I am surprised by the responses to this post. As it is a somewhat controversial topic started buy a guy with no kids. (Most) All the responses have been well thought and respectful of other peoples opinions. I guess I find it a bit funny that everyone can behave and make good points about a topic like this but you start talking music and guitars and everything seems to go out the window!

 

Maybe some of the other options would have worked for me but I will never know. It was just not the way it was when I was growing up and apparently where I grew up because basically it was acceptable for the neighbors to spank other peoples children if they were misbehaving. I think some countries/cultures sill practice this.

 

Again, this is what I have enjoyed most about my short time here in the forum. I really do walk away from these topics with a different outlook or at least good points to consider in the future.

 

 

Thanks for the insight!

 

 

Regards,

 

 

Andy

[TommyK]

"Time Outs" work for some kids all of the time, some kids some of the time, some kids none of the time. The child and the infraction should determine the punishment. Some kids need a swat on the butt to get their attention.

 

Kids should be limited in their electronic game consumption. Limit it, parents, by not allowing a computer, any computer into their bedrooms. It's not a good idea for adults either. A bedroom should be for sleeping and only sleeping.

 

STOP BUYING KIDS THOSE VIDEO GAMES FOR YOUR KIDS. Video games are all right, but they are designed to be played until they win, then you HAVE to buy them another... no you don't HAVE to buy them another. It's a vicious cycle. Purchase a game cart or disk for $45 - $60, the kids play it until they get frustrated with it, (now here's the kicker) for $15 you can buy a magazine with the cheat codes on how to beat the system. Then...the kids beat the game, then want another one... at $45 - $60 a pop. Guess who writes the 'cheat code' magazines? When they tire of the one they have, they will pursue other avenues of entertainment.

 

Enforce bedtimes

 

Do not allow your kids to consume 'energy' drinks. They are loaded with caffeine and pre-adults cannot handle that much caffeine. When my son was young I had to restrict him from drinking Mountain Dew. The kid would be so hopped up on caffeine from one 20 oz bottle of the stuff he couldn't control his actions. Mind you, he did sneak a few, but I always knew by the velocity at which he bounced off the walls. So called energy drinks have as much or more caffeine than Mountain Dew.

 

My daughter used to teach 5th grade. After she took this job, she found out, her assigned class was known for being terribly unruly, from the time they entered the 1st grade. Seems the list of usual (4) trouble makers were big consumers of Red Bull and the like. They even had it packed with their lunches from home. These kids were obnoxious, unruly and dis-respectful of the teacher, and other students. One day, one of the young men asked to go to the nurse's office for his headache medicine. The next day, he arrived with a paper bag containing his headache medicine to replace the one he used the day before. It was a can of Red Bull. This boy was having caffeine withdrawals! and his parents, and school administrators were complicit in his addiction. (Dad was on the school board) The parents had no intention of changing the situation. The parents seemed to feel vindicated when teachers left because of the teachers' inability to control the class.

 

 

Number one rule of being a good parent... parent.

[daveinspain]

My dad used to hit us with his belt when we were out of line... He was a military man. All's it did for me was made me hate him. So I would have to say, fathers don't hit your children but if you do make sure they really deserve it and be sure to let them know that you love them after...

[Golem]

`

 

My dad used to hit us with his belt when we

were out of line... He was a military man.

All's it did for me was made me hate him.

So I would have to say, fathers don't hit

your children but if you do make sure they

really deserve it and be sure to let them

know that you love them after...

`

Same here. The Belt. Heavy handed,

and with a definite message of anger.

 

We reconciled later, as adults. It very

much felt, to me, as if it was my father

who had, at last, grown up. But before

that all he did was teach me to despise

authority. Looking back, I think he was

not angry at me personally, but angry at

having become a parent. So he took it

out on the "cause" of his "condition".

 

Given the human proclivity toward bending

rules, and even outright corruption, when

a youngster is raised to doubt and despise

authority figures [and institutions], that

youngster will NOT be 'cured' by his entry

into the adult world. Au contraire, he will

notice the corrupt adults more than he will

notice the decent adults ... we all choose

to re-enforce what we already know and

what we already are.

 

IOW, show your kid the bad side of human

nature and your kids will become adults

who mainly continue to see it that way. I

can say that by experience, altho limited

to a small "survey sample" [my household].

 

I'd like to say the other side of the coin

is equally true, that if you show them the

positive side, it will 'color their vision'

as adults. Firstly, I'm not one who can say

that, not by experience, cuz I was brought

up negative. Secondly, being negative and

cynical as I am, I fear that TOO MUCH pure

positivity in childhood would raise a kid

into an adult who is naive and vulnerable.

 

I can only look at my own upbringing. I have

no kids of my own to "experiment" on. That

is a definite choice of mine. I very much

felt I was raised and conditioned to be the

worst possible candidate for parenthood.

 

So. I play music and make peeps dance, and

when they go home and fuque, I hope most of

them are ready to be decent parents. Thaz

the limit of my "involvement" in parenting.

 

 

 

`