EVOL! Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I have been in this situation so many times before. Nothing worse than passive aggressive BS behavior like that: talk a big game, but then don't deliver. F him. Let it go, that includes with your other guitarist. While we are on this, here is my advice for everyone: Always hold up your end so no one can hold that against you. If your bassist had shown up to rehearsals / on time / stayed the whole time, contributed to the sound, and helped do show promotion (made or hung flyers), then he would have a lot to stand on when he opened his big mouth. Right now, from my perspective, he ain't ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rokkstar 2210 Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 talk to the rest of your band...get in their views as well..if your bassist was a bit more committed then he would've shown up...my advice..try a final persuasion calmly..and if he doesn't agree..toss his **** out..and get a new bassist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crocstar6 Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 No, its not stupid that you think he should leave because he wasnt serious enough. Dont waste time around people that cant stick with commitment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted May 21, 2011 Author Share Posted May 21, 2011 I have been in this situation so many times before. Nothing worse than passive aggressive BS behavior like that: talk a big game, but then don't deliver. F him. Let it go, that includes with your other guitarist. While we are on this, here is my advice for everyone: Always hold up your end so no one can hold that against you. If your bassist had shown up to rehearsals / on time / stayed the whole time, contributed to the sound, and helped do show promotion (made or hung flyers), then he would have a lot to stand on when he opened his big mouth. Right now, from my perspective, he ain't ****. That's the thing, and to be honest, if we talked it out, he might still be around. But he refused to talk in person, demanded people send him texts and stuff like that/ I can find another bassist considering he never really did that much. I'm gonna talk to the rest of the band, do some damage control then talk about what we want to do from here, I have offers from 3 bassists who are willing to play for us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EVOL! Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 ...I have offers from 3 bassists who are willing to play for us This is a good problem to have; if it is a problem at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 No, its not stupid that you think he should leave because he wasnt serious enough. Dont waste time around people that cant stick with commitment You sound like all my ex's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted May 21, 2011 Author Share Posted May 21, 2011 This is a good problem to have; if it is a problem at all. Just gotta figure out who to go with :D And dem00n- good luck on teh wimminz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy R Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Being in a band only needs to be treated as a business when it becomes a business.... Most bands dont get nowhere near that point, so just have fun until your approached by a serious management group. Good advice Duane. When you switch from playing just for fun to playing for money everything changes. It is easy to loose the "why did I start playing in the first place mentality" I will go out on a limb and say that most of us had a bit of a "Want to be a Rock Star" fantasy when we picked up our instruments. Some of us even ( or still are) pursued this to a greater or lesser degree with varying results driven by various motives ( Fame, Money, Women, ( men for the girl rockers out there) , making money doing something you enjoy doing, etc..) Even at the level of playing music as a ( especially primary source) of income changes things. I went through all of these phases for about 15 years. I had a lot of fun, A lot of frustration, and had very little money. It is difficult to find a group of musicians that want to do the same thing, at the same level for the same reasons and with the same goal and work ethic to accomplish what the goal is. I was talking to a drummer I have known since we were 15 and played with on and off over the years not long ago. About 10 years ago he was in a band that was having great regional success, they were self producing albums and making decent money and getting pretty good radio play. They eventually got a real record deal and were playing arenas and a few "late night TV shows like Conan" . Unfortunately once they were signed all the money they made went back to the record company and ultimately they ended up breaking up over some issues this and the sacrifices that it involved created. Now to the point of the story... My friend still plays drums for a living. He plays in 3 or 4 bands in the Indianapolis area. When I spoke to him last he referred to his drums as his "Shovel" There is no real joy left for him in playing them. They are his job, his work, his equivalent of ditch digging. To me this was heart breaking to hear as he is probably one of the best drummers I have ever played with, heard and know. ( SYK he is also the drummer on the Troy Stetina Guitar instructional CD's) To summarize, playing for money or a career is about a 10% fun to 90% sacrifice ratio( give or take). You're taking something that you enjoy and turning it into a job, regardless of what you do for a job there is work involved. Work isn't always fun.... and it is easy to forget why you started playing music to begin with. Also remember that the people you are playing with will be realizing and either adjusting ( or not ) to this change. People will come and go... Try to remember this when things like this happens. Focus and remember the thrill and excitement you felt when you first figured out that song you were wanting to play, the thrill of discovery, and never allow you're instrument or playing music to turn into a "shovel".... Regards, Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stein Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Very nice, Andy. Reminds us of the true perspective, and one that we all don't get to see very often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retrosurfer1959 Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Very well said Andy and true about any kind of artistic endeavor that you want to do as work. As many on here know I'm a artist and that is my least favorite part of doing art for money. I understand the process and try very hard to live up to the commitments I make but I have this conversation at least once a month with my Agent. She's a great person and I really enjoy working with her because she likes doing the things I hate, like booking shows, and shipping product etc. and between her and my wife they run me as a business leaving me free to do art. I'm pretty sure I will be personally responsible for this young womans mental breakdown where she'll either completely snap and end up doing physical harm to either herself or me. She is a very dedicated and irresistably cute 23 year old art agent, And I am a retired CEO/CIO that retired young to pursue art but the starving part isn't happening, and theres not much I need that could be used to motivate me. I have three homes with a fourth on the way so it's not like she can force me to do 34 bracelets because I need the rent paid. I work what I want to work on not what they think will sell best, Lest week I actually had her in tears because I was having a tattoo added to my arm and I was doing a paint by numbers kit from the fifties while she felt i should be completing some very expensive jewelry order I have on commission. She a sweetheart and can cuss very creativiley even after just a I wake up around noon crawl out bed and decide what i want to do and if often has nothing to do with anything she thinks will sell> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 Andy, +1 for a great post, and it brings up a lot of good points. I may get off as kind of a jag, in my post, but bear with me, as I will try to explain it a bit. Even though I'm only 19, I have done quite a few different types of jobs, ranging from landscaping, to shipping, writing on newspapers and working in offices, and none of them really worked out that well and I didn't enjoy them. Probably the most pleasurable was writing on a newspaper and it was because I got to interact with the general public and the work I did was for a purpose. I think I might have told the story before, but I wrote a story on Title 9 and the disparities between men's and women's sports and the huge difference between pay and fans. A girl, with tears in her eyes, came up to me and hugged me and said that because of my story, her parents started to actually go to her basketball games. I was crushed and my mind was blown. That was when I was 16. Since that day, I have made up my mind that I won't be able to have like a standard desk job or something like that, because nothing I can do, will be able to meet that feeling to know that I was able to help that one person in such a way. My current declared major for college is journalism and I will probably venture towards broadcast because my dream job is to be a radio host, I think it would be a blast being able to reach that many people and that opportunity would be amazing. For me, music has always been about communication and the way that people translate the songs has always astounded me. I have had people tell me my songs are songs that they want to get high to, songs they want to cry to, etc. I basically just want that ability to be able to touch and interact with people, and playing guitar is something I enjoy doing. In all honesty, I don't think my music is going to go anywhere, I write all of my songs for me. If I wanted to write pop stuff and get some stuff noticed, I could, but then it would turn into work as you said, and I don't want the guitar to become work. I know its cliche, but I don't want to be famous, if I could ever make enough money to live comfortably off of playing guitar, then I would be the happiest man on the face of the earth. However, if I ever get to play out more, and if I ever get the opportunity to pay off all of the instruments and accessories off of money I make from playing, I would consider myself well beyond accomplished. To kinda wrap things up and bring it completely back on topic, I want playing to be fun. I don't know when I'm going to be moving to Colorado, I don't know what my future holds, all I know is that my time here with this band, with an amazing drummer and a great friend, is limited and I am not going to waste time on the nonsense. Music means a lot to me, and I just want to go out there and play. When people restrict that, I don't need them. I never want my guitar, or any job I have, to turn into a shovel. I need all of the joy in my life I can get, and I never ever want to have a job that I hate, its just not worth it. I would rather be poor and doing something I enjoy then being rich and doing something I hate. Life is too short for that. That's why I stopped writing on the college newspaper, besides for working 50-60 hour weeks and only getting paid for 20 hours, besides from my grades slipping from the massive amount of time I had to spend on the paper, besides from the editor who was just a terrible person and an even worse leader, my work was becoming a shovel. I no longer looked forward to writing, I didn't look for the reactions and it killed me. I refused to let that happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crocstar6 Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Wow dem00n. Thanks i guess? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAS44 Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Andy, +1 for a great post, and it brings up a lot of good points. I may get off as kind of a jag, in my post, but bear with me, as I will try to explain it a bit. Didn't want to fill the page up with the rest of the post, but way to go Freddie again proving you're a damned good 'un Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy R Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Andy, +1 for a great post, and it brings up a lot of good points. To kinda wrap things up and bring it completely back on topic, I want playing to be fun. I don't know when I'm going to be moving to Colorado, I don't know what my future holds, all I know is that my time here with this band, with an amazing drummer and a great friend, is limited and I am not going to waste time on the nonsense. Music means a lot to me, and I just want to go out there and play. When people restrict that, I don't need them. I never want my guitar, or any job I have, to turn into a shovel. I need all of the joy in my life I can get, and I never ever want to have a job that I hate, its just not worth it. I would rather be poor and doing something I enjoy then being rich and doing something I hate. Life is too short for that. That's why I stopped writing on the college newspaper, besides for working 50-60 hour weeks and only getting paid for 20 hours, besides from my grades slipping from the massive amount of time I had to spend on the paper, besides from the editor who was just a terrible person and an even worse leader, my work was becoming a shovel. I no longer looked forward to writing, I didn't look for the reactions and it killed me. I refused to let that happen Thanks Fuzz, and to clarify a lot of my posts are generalities and opinions in a broad view not necessarily a direct response or opinion that is pinpointed at the OP. So as far as my take on the situation with your Bass player and the way things were handled I would only say "you gotta do, what you gotta do" There is nothing wrong with having ( an agreed upon ) set of expectations of the people you are playing music with and taking issue if they are not respected. As young as you are and (I am guessing) the people you are playing with, don't be surprised if some of them quickly realize that putting the time, practice and commitment to achieve something worth while becomes work to them and turns playing into a "shovel" for them quicker than it does for you. Actually I'm not even sure if age really changes this. People are people... I have also found quite a few "musicians" that love the idea of getting out and playing in a band. They will put a lot of work and practice into it but when the day comes that there is a reality that they are going to play in front of people they freak and flake out... They tend to be the ones that are more into the "I'm in a band" moniker. Anyway I have digressed far enough. You're a smart guy so keep on keepin' on. Regards, Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrNylon Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 sounds like he was never onboard to start with. Hey ferd, I have to agree with jaxson50. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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