milod Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 CB... No question that a girl adds a different dynamic to any sort of band. What it often means is that the guys have to be a little more mature - whether they're 15 or 65 - in their approach to rehearsal and performance. I think personally that it's more than worth it. The problem, however, frequently is that the "grown up girls" 30 and up are so doggone busy, or perceive that they are, that getting them out of the house to play is a little rough. Even if it's to be a church choir director, do they have time for it and to nourish home relationships as they perceive it? How does Mommie tell two or three kids she's off to rehearsals two nights a week and then playing another two or three? If it's "church," it's perhaps easier, but in a saloon band? How old are the kids and what are their needs? Worse, how does Mommie get hubbie, assuming there is one, to be supportive? I know of a few examples where that happens; a few others where Mommie and Daddie both are in the band and manage to be individuals, friends and co-band members with the other band members simultaneously. But even that brings a different dynamic to the band as a whole. Regardless, is hubbie comfortable with those relationships long term? Girls, like it or not, are in a different life path for 20-30 years compared to boys; even to childless couples of any age. So if .05 percent of boys in the 20-70 age group are playing out semi-professionally, there's what, maybe .005 of a percent of girls? Actually I've see more girl saloon players who are over 40, usually divorced, than married ones with support from a "significant other." Ain't saying it's right; in fact, I think it's kinda sad 'cuz I think there are a lotta very talented girls who just don't see an opportunity as being worth the risk. A lady friend of my Dad's age I got to know was a pro symphony violinist. Never married, no kids... and I think wondering if she'd taken the correct path. Even in the "I go to church a lot but wanna do old-time fiddling" group, I've seen a cupla girls in their 30s-40s end up being single moms from that inclination. Guys often figure it's worth that "split," I think girls not so much. Although... I'm not sure about the younger set. In ways I think they're more conservative than baby boomers. So... I dunno. I'm with you, though, on the whole band thing. m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Namvet Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 IMHO I'd find it "nicely" to have some folks to get together and play with, drama or no drama! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie brown Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 Milod...good points, and I'm running into exactly those things! The young ones, are too flighty, irresponsible, too "entitled," and such. The older, more responsible, and reliable ones, are tied down (BUSY!!!)...especially if they ARE, reliable and responsible. Everyone, wants one of those ladies...singers, or just partners. (Smile) The thing is, for me/us...we don't play out, so much (not enough venues, for one thing), that we require a whole lot of time commitment. Just some decent "homework," and then a rehearsal, or two, to put it all together, now and then. So, aside from those 2-3 nights, per month, there wouldn't be much demand, on their time. If we were a steadily working, band, with a whole lot of scheduled gigs, I could understand it, more. But, maybe even so little, is too much, for some of them, with all their other obligations, percieved or otherwise? Who knows? I'll just have to keep looking, I guess? Hope that one comes along, that's easy to get along with, and a super singer, too. (I know, "dream on!") But, they're out there... you just have to find them. ;>b CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rct Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 They've all seen every season of Idol. They all know you just walk out, move yer fingers around on the mic, use your other hand to point out the notes, done. Who needs this rehearsin sh1t? rct Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie brown Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 Well...I guess what I don't care for, is unnecessary drama. I don't mind "creative tension," so much. It's sometimes needed/desired, and/or even helpful. But, too much unneeded ego, and constant "I, Me, Mine," gets tedious, really fast! When you have a person, or group, with the right chemistry, and no unneeded drama, the music just seems to flow out, of everyone, more naturally. I love it, when that happens! ;>) CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This_Dying_Soul Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 band drama sucks donkey ***. My only 2 bands that made it out of the basement were full of drama. It resulted in constant line-up changes, frequent bickering and fighting and all kinds of stupid BS that has no place in a band. Things like people not willing to help each other load and unload other member's gear but expecting us to help with their gear;agreeing to play gigs without checking to see if we were all available to play, doing something because the girlfriend says we should and disrespecting the fact the other members of the band were against the idea. The first band, the drama came mostly from the singer. Everyone that left did so because of problems with him. In the end, I decided rather than endure another line-up change as the result of his attitude, I was going with the next person who quit or was kicked out by the singer. It turned out that of the last line-up (a 4 piece including himself) of that group he pissed off all 3 of us so thoroughly in the last 2 months that instead of quitting we all got together and kicked his *** out and changed our name and eventually hired a new singer when we realized that continuing as a trio wasn't working out. The second group fell apart 3 years later for much the same reasons as the first, only this time it was the drummer creating problems. First the bassist quit because out of frustration over the fact we'd make plans to jam on a specific date/time and the drummer would blow off practice to go out with his girlfriend and expect the rest of us to change our plans instead of working in his social life around the rest of us. We wound up a trio again which this time worked out since the singer took over bass, but eventually I left for the same reasons as our original bassist except that all I was asking was for ONE day each week reserved for spending time with the woman who became my wife. I was given an ultimatum by the drummer and I quit. The singer quit as soon as he heard I left because he didn't feel I was asking anything unreasonable and saw a pattern emerge where the band was the drummer's priority when it was convenient for him, but as soon as anyone else was not able to be basically "on call" whenever he felt like being part of the band, he pitched a hissy fit. That was 10 years ago and I haven't been in another band since. I remained friends with the original bassist and the singer. I've since patched up my friendship with the drummer after 8 years. The drummer lives in korea now and is coming home to visit this summer. We're all trying to see about getting together to hang out. The singer and I still jam at times when we're able to find the time so it'll be interesting to see how 10 years apart is going to sound when we get back together. I don't see the whole group ever reforming (the drummer living in Korea aside)but if I can get schedules to work between myself and the singer, I hear his current band has a hard time keeping a second guitarist and I wouldn't mind seeing if I can plug the whole for them on a long term basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dom_JEM Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 never been any drama in my current band, all great guys. we have a female singer and i love her to bits! its great when you all get along! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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