livemusic Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Still recording in Nashville, need an original song with a love theme in a certain slot on the album. If anyone on here is interested in listening to a song and telling me if it works for you, let me know and I will send a PM with a link. This is a boy-girl theme. This forum is all male, not sure if men will like this. Or, women, for that matter, lol. Just trying to figure out if it's an outstanding song to listeners. Tis only a work tape recording, guitar/vocal, it's rough. Please reply via PM, thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duluthdan Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I'd love to hear it, will listen and respond tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Yep, we'll listen if you give us a link .............but you've got to give us the link first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livemusic Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 Thank you both. I'm sending it via PM to those who request it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremy Morton Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Would be great to hear in the open forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Add me to the list of interested please. And yes Jeremy , i agree! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 First of all, I could listen to you all day- your vocals and guitar work are easy and fine. Second-- I have a couple of observations. It wanders a bit, such that it doesn't sit for me as a love song. I hear the loss and yearning- but not acutely. Even when you're slowing the tempo down for a love song, I think the song itself has to have a sharp focus to compensate. Is this a story about waiting to get back to each other? Is it about pondering what might have been? About what was lost or found? It's a tall order to try for all of it. So my general suggestions are to shorten things and to sharpen the lyrics so we'll find ourselves right where you meant to take us, emotionally and story/image-wise. I hope that's helpful - and, hey, it's just one girl's take! Thanks for sharing and for including yer pals here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I'm agreeing with Anne here. While the song is obviously tainted with regret , its not apparent whether its the fault of the war or the girl ? Maybe I'm missing the point completely !! maybe that's what you wanted ? The recording is gorgeous and as usual your talent is bursting out . Just a few lyrical tweaks would make it a lot more rounded a song. I hate to critique any guys songs. Nice stuff sir. Keep it up and please keep posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Nice song, Bill. A gentle ballad. I tend to go along with some others on it being a love song., It's more of an "unrequited love" song than a straight love song. Still, it would fit a lot albums that are not 100% upbeat and happy-go-lucky. The song is a real "slice of life." Many of us have been there....Also, there are a few places where I'm expecting a few more words to the verse, but instead the verse seems to end rather abruptly and leaves me expecting more to be said...lol...Of course that's all the songwriter's prerogative and perhaps a personal writing style. I think there are a lot more positives to this song than things to be critical about. It's definitely a ballad on the sad side of life. The lone guitar and your vocals work well, but I think it would be cool to have a sad dobro or violin, maybe even a bluesy harmonica in the background to add to the somber atmosphere you create. Good song. I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livemusic Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 It's not a love song, it's a love-lost song. I said it was a song with a "love theme" and it's a "boy-girl" song. I didn't want to reveal that he loses her in my post because that would blow the song's story before if it was even heard. I thought it was very clear that this guy loved her but she did not love him back like he did her. And that he loses her. Yet, I have done another rewrite this afternoon and hopefully it is even clearer now. It will not be guitar-vocal only on the album, if it makes it. A fiddle will be the key accompaniment instrument but there may be more backing behind it, not sure. But I do know fiddle will be there. I recorded one version with a champion fiddler and it will bring tears to your eyes, it's an awesome sound. Thanks for the listens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-minor7 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Hello - Curious about this track. Would like to give it a listen. Em7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ol fred Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I'd like to give a listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livemusic Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 I'd like to give a listen. Thanks Fred, I think I have sent it to everyone else, but I have just done ANOTHER rewrite and I am going to record it AGAIN, lol. So, hang tight and I will get it to you today. You need to hear this, I am curious, I hope you like it, but we'll see. (I think you served in the military? So, I just hope I am finally there with this song. I just think there is a cool story here, especially on this particular album that has several military-theme songs and a big dose of angst.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ol fred Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Thanks Billl. Using the CW? I'll check back this afternoon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livemusic Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 Thanks Billl. Using the CW? I'll check back this afternoon I knew you'd ask that, lol. And here's the bad news. The Country Western is going to have to go into the shop again. Another crack showed up on the back on the other side of the guitar! Dang it, ain't that the luck. I haven't dropped it or anything, it just popped up one day, I guess from the stress of the prior disaster. This is a Collings OM3 and I am reminded that it is also a fabulous guitar, it's amazing for fingerstyle ease of playing. This is tuned down a whole step and I am amazed that I can tune it down 3 half steps and it still plays well. Which I've never seen in another guitar. I mean, to have good tone tuned that low. I think this is in key of Bb, played as if in C. Link sent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ol fred Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 I knew you'd ask that, lol. And here's the bad news. The Country Western is going to have to go into the shop again. Another crack showed up on the back on the other side of the guitar! Dang it, ain't that the luck. I haven't dropped it or anything, it just popped up one day, I guess from the stress of the prior disaster. This is a Collings OM3 and I am reminded that it is also a fabulous guitar, it's amazing for fingerstyle ease of playing. This is tuned down a whole step and I am amazed that I can tune it down 3 half steps and it still plays well. Which I've never seen in another guitar. I mean, to have good tone tuned that low. I think this is in key of Bb, played as if in C. Link sent. Poor ol guitar. Unrequited love and war ? Something I can certainly relate to having received a "Dear John" during my second tour in Nam. I wouldn't change a thing. Two thumbs up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livemusic Posted May 2, 2014 Author Share Posted May 2, 2014 Poor ol guitar. Unrequited love and war ? Something I can certainly relate to having received a "Dear John" during my second tour in Nam. I wouldn't change a thing. Two thumbs up. Dang, Fred, that's unreal about the Dear John in Nam, that song was written for you! I have also received one of those. I remember exactly where I was standing when I read the news and that was 35 years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Women. Eh. I can't even begin to imagine . Fair play to you guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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