TommyK Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 O.K. then; 1001101010010000011101110101011101 walks into a bar, 100101101000011111011101010 says, 10010101 10010010 !!!!!!!!!! Bartender replies, 100100010000111111 10100111101 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :unsure: You... Me... damian. That's the 10 of us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 You... Me... damian. That's the 10 of us! Not only that TommyK, but we can turn our amps up to 11, and the only other rocker who can do that is that dude from spinal tap.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franzi Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 This one is from my nine year old. What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor. Beautiful, compliments! "If it's gonna be fight, let it be tough" said the snail and climed onto the steel rail of the railroad track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DennisMiller Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Base 8 is just like base 10, if you're missing 2 fingers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Short dumb guy, "You take me for an idiot? Of course I know to avoid the third rail. See here? One, tw......." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Base 8 is just like base 10, if you're missing 2 fingers. Django Reinhardt played in base 8. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franzi Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 "If I had all the money I spent in my life on alcohol on one pile, I would spend it for...alcohol. Quote of Lord Dunsinane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Dogs look up to you, cats look down on you. Give me a pig! He looks you in the eye and treats you as an equal. -- Winston Churchill Bit a joke per se, but a funny, albeit honest, line. Thumbs up to you Winnie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Why did the digital guitarist take a taxi to the gig ? It would have been a harddrive...What did he say during the show ? " And now for our next number." What happened when the digital guitarist had a heart attack ? The doctor told him he had bionary art disease. Why did the digital guitarist's girlfriend leave him ? His hardware didn't work. What did he think when she left him ? " Wow, she really did a number on me. " Did you hear about the two threaders who were lost ? One said to the other, "Where IS that POST office?" Why do analysts play fenders? Theyr'e into Stratistics...What did the salesman say to the Firebird X ? "What are you doing here, this is a guitar store!" You can tune a guitar but you can't tunafish........ :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 What did the single coil say to the h**ker? How much for a humbucker? Did you hear about the new Les Paul Reissue? The PAFs were overwound with joy....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaved_ape Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 Dogs look up to you, cats look down on you. Give me a pig! He looks you in the eye and treats you as an equal. -- Winston Churchill Bit a joke per se, but a funny, albeit honest, line. Thumbs up to you Winnie! My favorite Winston Churchill quote is “'You are drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk. 'Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 A pickup walks into a ten cent store and asks, " What can I get for alnico ? " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 My Horse turned up with a broken leg. So, I had to shoot it. Now it's got a broken leg and a gunshot wound. Not sure why. I suppose it helps the healing process. If she ain't better by next week, I'll shoot her again. Stole that from LTCG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 My Horse turned up with a broken leg. So, I had to shoot it. Now it's got a broken leg and a gunshot wound. Not sure why. I suppose it helps the healing process. If she ain't better by next week, I'll shoot her again. Stole that from LTCG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daryl M Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 "I've been on a diet for 3 weeks. So far, I've lost 21 days." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DennisMiller Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 "I've been on a diet for 3 weeks. So far, I've lost 21 days." That's so true in my recent case that it's not funny. A friend of minesays he can tell when his diet is working because he has to start navigating the fretboard by the side dots on the neck instead of the guitar laying on his "shelf" and being able to see the top of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Bubba is driving down a back road in Alabama . A sign in front of a restaurant reads: HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL Lobster Tail and Beer "Lord a'mighty," he says to himself, "Thems my three favorites!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 A couple more silly originals; A guy tells his wife " I think I'll write a book." Wife says, " What a novel idea. " What was the novelist's wife's name ? Page Turner. What was his daughter's name ? Novelle. What was his son's name ? Author. What did the novelist's wife do when he came home late ? She threw the book at him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted November 12, 2010 Author Share Posted November 12, 2010 Two sailors walk into a bar, the third one ducked.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DennisMiller Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Hey buddy, why the long face?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 A horse John Kerry walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Hey buddy, why the long face?" I think Leno told that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DennisMiller Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I like your version better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 A horse John Kerry walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Hey buddy, why the long face?" I think Leno told that one. And who would know more about long faces then Leno? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 What is on the blues guitarist's headstone ????? I DIDN'T WAKE UP THIS MORNING Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DennisMiller Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 What is on the blues guitarist's headstone ????? I DIDN'T WAKE UP THIS MORNING Shouldn't it have been repeated 3 times? Then the closing line of the verse is something like, "Oh God, I think I'm dead." Next verse repeats 3 times, "It's dark here where I'm traveling" and closes with, "I don't think this is Heaven"... Someone else can take it from there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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