Big Bill Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Did you hear about the cannibal that threw up his hands in disgust? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daryl M Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 What is perfect pitch? Throwing a banjo and hitting an accordion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortcon Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duane v Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Q: Why do cows wear bells? A: Because thier horns don't work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bill Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Q: What do you call a seagull that moved to the bay? A: A Baygull. (Bagel) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortcon Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 How many spiders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, I just want to know how they got in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZenKen Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead. Really? I woulda guessed Bob. B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego the guy Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Really? I woulda guessed Bob. B) thought you were gonna say diego Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZenKen Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 thought you were gonna say diego Alrighty then, What did the Italian guy say when his sister took his waffle........ wait for it.......... Hey yoo, leggo my diego.................. OUCH! B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WahKeen Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum that it could be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego the guy Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Alrighty then, What did the Italian guy say when his sister took his waffle........ wait for it.......... Hey yoo, leggo my diego.................. OUCH! B) ................... [lol] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WahKeen Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 A guy walks into a bar, and the other one says "I know, I didn't see it either."... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 How can you tell one end of a worm from the other? Tickle it in the middle and see which ends farts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksiegel Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Two Irishmen walk past a bar... Hey! it could happen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimbabig Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 What do you call a fat guy with a telecaster a Teletubby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WahKeen Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 How do you keep a bunch of dummies in suspense? I'll tell y'all tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jantha Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I wrote these silly guitarist joke for you all; Moses comes down from the mountain with two Les Pauls in his arms, and is shocked to see that the people are still worshiping false idols like fenders, so he trudges back up the mountain and asks the the burning bush, " What should I do ? " The burning bush tells Moses, " The people aren't ready for Gibson Les Pauls, take these two tablets to them and call me in the morning." My 'G' string broke the other day, so I made my girlfriend something nice to wear at the beach. Did you hear about the Gibson who married the Fender? It ended on a bad note.:unsure: Overheard at the courthouse the other day; " I, Ban Ez, do solomely swear to shred...." :huh: Two Fenders walk into a bar, one strat says to the other, " Check out those fine Gibsons! " The other strat says, " Don't even think about it, you are't in their league. " Did you hear about the tone deaf guitarist? He insisted that fenders sounded good. :wacko: Did you hear about the squirrel who got a guitar for Christmas? He kept licking it's nut. What are cheap imported guitars good for? Chords of wood. Overheard at a bingo game; " P - 90 ." Did you hear about the colorblind guitarist who went amp shopping? He couldn't tell the difference between a Marshall and an Orange. Did you hear about the guitar charged with bank robbery? He claims he was 'set up.' What happened at the blues guitarist's court hearing? The judge let him slide. How did the guitarist contact his bass player? He used his Tele to call his bassist's Epi-phone. Most of these I just made up as I typed them. Depending on the 'feedback' (pun intended), I'll write more for you all. Old chords never die, they just deminish a bit. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Versatile Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Most of these I just made up as I typed them. These one-liners are much too good for this room.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowdiddley Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 While making love, the husband says: Darling, let's do 68! 68??? What's that? You do it to me and I'll owe you one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Versatile Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 While making love, the husband says: Darling, let's do 68! 68??? What's that? You do it to me and I'll owe you one. When I do a 3-some, we do 23 each..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevef Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I was in my back yard trying to fly a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success. All the while, Linda is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yelled to me, 'You need a piece of tail.' I turned with a confused look on my face and said, 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albertjohn Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I took a speed reading course and read War And Peace in 40 minutes. It's about Russia (Woody Allen) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowdiddley Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 When I do a 3-some, we do 23 each..... I like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Fender Corp. has a trade show; the police surround the place and told everyone " Move along now, nothing to see here. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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