tazzboy Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Hey if fred/nate wants to leave then he should. But I don't think he needs to tell us either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jnastynebr Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Wow this thread is fail. He'll be back next week. This isn't the first time he's "left the forum". He's our little Brett Favre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy R Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Fred, One of the main reasons I started posting on this forum was I realized it was a great way to improve my communication skills and how I deal with people. On my very first post asking about a bridge on my Explorer E/2 there was a guy that was adamant that the bridge i was asking about was aftermarket. I knew it wasn't and I started to get a little irritated but over all kept my cool and Duane actually joined in the post and was helpful not only in helping me find an answer to my question but also how I was responding back to the other person. This really struck me in a way that I realized that I could benefit from posting here in how I respond and deal with people/situations at work and life in general. I have always had a reputation as being hard to get along with in a team environment and being very domineering as well a brash. I never liked that perception and have really worked hard to change it over the last couple of years. I saw this forum as an opportunity to work on these skills and figured if I couldn't participate and communicate with a diverse group of people on a forum about guitars I would never improve at work. I think during my time here I have dealt with things pretty well. I have also made some mistakes. Tried my best to admit them and move on. I have found it to be a good challenge to try to diffuse situations where I may have made somebody angry either through accident or misunderstanding and vice-versa. I also do the reverse in that when someone angers or annoys me I try not to get mad but instead figure out a way to diffuse the situation and make the other person think about there actions and what they are trying to achieve by doing what they are doing. I have found this works about 99% of the time and the other 1% I just ignore until it goes away. In the end communication is the key to a lot of situations you will encounter in life and how well you succeed with personal relationships, friends, coworkers, careers etc... I cannot stress this enough!!! Communication, Listening and hearing past the "I wants" that people tend to use in their communication ( especially personal relationships) and finding out what the real " What I need is" will have a huge impact on your life, career(s) and relationships!!!! Sincere Regards, Andy By the way I just had my bi-annual review at work a few weeks ago. My manager told me that I have made the biggest change in regards to communications within our global team and that he was amazed at how much I have changed and how much impact it has had and wished the rest of the team would follow suit. I about forgot the most important part of improving in this area and might be the hardest and that is taking an honest look at how you contributed to the situation. There are very few situations that are purely one sided. Regardless of how poorly someone has treated you or made you mad or how "in the right" you feel, Step back from the situation and try to see what you might have contributed to the situation or what you could have done differently. The key is if you look and you are really honest with your self you can almost always find something you could change or do differently. You have no control over how other people act or behave but you have complete control over how you act and behave. This took me years to learn... lot's of failed relationships, a failed marriage and other "issues" . I would always feel like I hadn't done anything wrong or that I had been the "victim". I would try to find girls that were completely different from the last but my relationships kept ending pretty much the same way. There was only one thing consistent in all those relationships and that was me... I'm not saying that you should feel like every thing is your fault or that the way the person has treated you is right. What I am saying is look for patterns in your own behavior and things you can change about yourself that will help make you a better person from a bad situation. I hope you or anyone else here that reads this takes it to heart. To me this is more important and can make a real difference in your life than anything I can share about guitars and music. Regards, Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocketman Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Wise words Andy. Nate, you should listen to Andy and stay. Get a punching bag to let your stress out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bookkeeper's Son Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Kudos to Andy's well-worded wisdom. I'll add one little thing: when upset about something, it's often helpful to ask yourself how important this incident is in the "big scheme of things". Will it matter a year from now? A month? A day? An hour? In most cases the question answers itself, and the answer, more often than not, is that it isn't very important in the long (or short) run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GIANTRobOT42O Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Its all good Freddy. Haters will indeed hate. You always got a home at ILF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris. Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 can you feel all the love comin your way fred feel it! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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