PrairieSchooner Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 A woman was accused of beating her husband to death with guitars from his collection. "First offender? asks the judge. "No," the woman answered. "First a Gibson, then a Fender." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j45nick Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 Now that's funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortyearspickn Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 More musicians are beat to death with banjos than guitars. Just sayin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSchooner Posted February 24, 2020 Author Share Posted February 24, 2020 You could insert "banjo" in place of "guitar"; still works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 My wife. phoned me from work earlier. She said three of her colleagues had received bouquets of flowers. She said they were all gorgeous. "Well then," I said, “that's probably why they got flowers.” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 A man is sitting in a bar looking sad.... The bartender asks, “Why are you so down?” Man replies, “Well, no girls will talk to me because I have this wooden eye and it freaks them out.” Bartender thinks for a moment, “See that cute girl sitting at the end of the bar? She used to be a professional dancer until a car accident took part of her leg and has a prosthetic. She still loves to dance but no one ever asks. Send her a drink.“ The man agrees and sends her a drink. She smiles at him and waves him over. The man nervously approaches her and says, “I hear you like to dance?” She excitedly responds, “Would I!? Would I?!” The man yells back “PEG LEG! PEG LEG!” and storms out of the bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 A socialist joke isn't really funny unless everyone gets it.... just sayin Murph 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Heckuva point ! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 My wife's birthday was a couple weeks ago and she told me she wanted to go some place that was expensive, so I took to her look at some new Gibsons. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortyearspickn Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 42 minutes ago, MissouriPicker said: My wife's birthday was a couple weeks ago and she told me she wanted to go some place that was expensive, so I took to her look at some new Gibsons. "A woman was accused of beating her husband to death with a guitar..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 44 minutes ago, fortyearspickn said: "A woman was accused of beating her husband to death with a guitar..." It wasn't me. I just got some dirty looks and a whuppin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ Tom Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Q: What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddle player? A: The fiddle player is smiling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 11 hours ago, NJ Tom said: Q: What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddle player? A: The fiddle player is smiling. There's some truth to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holiday Hoser Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 After all my years of playing in bars I think I have girls pretty figured out. I know how to always make them say YES. I just ask "Am I bothering you?" I'll be here all week. Try the veal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 They got me a bulimic stripper for my last birthday party. The cake popped out of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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