Out-doing mom and dad

[jaxson50]

Stevef

Those would be some tall boots to fill, your father accomplished great things and did so pretty much on his own. Stories of people like him should be preserved and shared as inspiration to others.

[DanvillRob]

What a wonderful post... thank you, Izzy.... made me think of my parents again.....

 

My dad was born in Oklahoma in 1918. Came to the West and lived the exact live of Tom Joad, (Steinbeck's "Grapes of Wrath"). He was a true cowboy. 5th grade education, read everything he could get his hands on. He taught me that I could do anything I wanted....could be anything I wanted. We were as poor as could be, but I never felt it.

 

Did I ever surpass him? I can certainly play guitar better, I certainly became more successful in business, I certainly got a better education.

 

So, did I surpass him? Not even close. There wasn't a single person who EVER knew him who didn't love him as much as his own family. He was good...honest....caring....loving....generous to a fault.....

 

My mother? She didn't much like her sons, not that she didn't love and take care of us...just that her daughters were "special" to her. There was never a time in my childhood where we didn't have a "stray" living with us. Some cousin who's parents were "out of action", whatever. My mother was smart and quit school in the 11th grade, (had my sister). She came from a totally dysfunctional family, but made a decent life for herself and all us kids.

 

Surpass her? No on my best day. I was with her when she died earlier this year. I was going to see her every day on my way home from work. No one else was with her, (my sisters had left an hour or so before I got there).

 

I remember a day or two before she died, she hadn't said a word in weeks....(cancer that had spread to her brain), I was feeding her ice chips... as I used my fingers to put them in her mouth I leaned close and said, "don't worry, Ma...I washed my hands just before I went to the bathroom.". She LAUGHED and whispered, "just BEFORE!"

 

Bob

[jaxson50]

Milrod

Last summer my brother passed away, my sister in law gave me a box of old music books and letters that had belonged to my grandmother. I started going thru all the letters and found a collection of letters from her father (my great grandfather) written to her during the last 10 years of his life. In reading them it became clear that he was reaching out to her to make amends for his abandoning her when she was a young child.

In those letters he laid out family history and facts about his life, details I never knew, even though I knew him and had listened to some of his stories as a boy. It may be a remarkable story but I believe it is not a uncommon one.

I began researching family history a few years ago and in doing so I had to network with other family researchers.

I did learn a lot about our family, but I learned something else too, every family tree reflects history because history is not a disconnected tale we see in movies or read in books, it is the story of human survival and adaptability, accomplishments and failures.

The history of a nation, any nation is told in real human terms when one studies their family roots. Each of us are the end result of the mating of many families, each with there own unique story, and as America is such a young nation our history is still very fresh.

Going back just a few generations will place you at the birth of our nation. My grandmothers side of the family was blessed with longevity. My great grand father, Charlie, lived 94 year, a long time for anyone, but a very long time for someone born in 1875. Contrast that with his mother in law, she died in 1908 at the age of 103! I have a picture of her with her daughter, her grand daughter and her great grand daughter(my grandmother) taken in 1907. So there in a photograph I can see my grandmother who died in 1996 sitting with a woman who was alive in 1805, when Thomas Jefferson was President!

When you study your roots you learn about your involvement in history. It no longer is a distant subject.

[ocdman]

My Dad could fix just about anything. I suck at it. There are a few things I can repair but not like him.But I got the music gene in the family.

[stevef]

Stevef

Those would be some tall boots to fill' date=' your father accomplished great things and did so pretty much on his own. Stories of people like him should be preserved and shared as inspiration to others.[/quote']

 

Thx. jaxson50.. My Mom and Dad died when my older 2 sons were very young, my youngest son wasn't even a "twinkle in my eye" at that time. I tried to use his life as an example to my sons as they were growing up (school work primarily) but usually got the [bored] looks. It was a hard to get the point across without being able to say "Hey Dad tell the kids about the time you....." or "Hey Mom tell them about the time Dad went...".

 

BTW Izzy great thread..

[milod]

Jax...

 

Yupper on the closer feeling to history.

 

E.g., were you to have the full name, you'd find "I" was born July 15, 1842 in Vermont and joined the 112th Illinois in late summer of 1862. <grin> "I" left home at 15 and drifted west.

 

Family dates back quite a ways in the US; the living history "game" makes one catch onto reality of life in different ages, too. I've done some written pieces along those lines, too. It makes you realize just how different life was even in the lifetime of your own ancestors - and yet how similar.

 

Frankly I think life was far, far more free in ways before we all were numbered by the government; a stupid youth need not end one's life potential. I did a piece once on a guy who'd robbed and shot at folks, escaped from the pen, ended up becoming a well-known lawman and eventually the head of yet another state's national guard. <grin>

 

"What was your name in the states" wasn't an insult, just a recognition if you wanted to know if someone were related, it was a question you might wish to ask.

 

BTW, I just mentioned my mom's side before. Dad's side goes back to immigration circa 1690 or so - kinda latecomers in ways; always kinda liked the frontier; few name-carrying offspring. Grandpa D was a great fisherman, I think largely because Grandma D could outshoot him and had the medals to prove it. Grandpa's dad died when he was 8, my great grandma lived on his Civil War pension until she died in '47. I still have a vague memory of her on the green velvet fainting couch in the parlor.

 

I'll never forget the one time other than Grandpa D's death I saw grandma weep. They "retired" her at 72 from the summer job she'd done for some 20 years. She still could pick up my Mom in one arm and Dad in the other and lift them and she was shorter than both. Oh, Grandpa D played football circa 1900 when a forward pass meant tossing one of their players over tacklers to make a first down that required only 5 yards - and he played trombone. Even in his 70s with a bad heart and way too much weight, he could break your wrists just by squeezing. Don't ask how, cuz this particular comment likely would be excised, but I saw it.

 

m

[jaxson50]

Milrod

I would have to agree, life had many more dangers, but in many ways also had greater freedoms. The story of your Grandfathers strength is one I can also give credence to. My grandfather had the strongest hands I've ever seen, even while his health was is decline his hands could feel like a vice grip, yet he played the violin with much grace and finesse. He built his house, his barn, and his shop, dug his well, built a wind mill to pump it's water and preferred plowing behind a mule to using his tractor. And every Sunday he put on his go to meeting dud's and went to church. He wasn't well schooled, but he never owed a dime to anyone. If he couldn't pay for it or trade for it he didn't need it. That came from his Pennsylvania Dutch background, he often told me that "Debtor is a bankers term for slave".

I would say that is pretty good advice.

[retrosurfer1959]

Interesting post - I had a real rocky relationship with the parents so much so that I was out on my own at 16 years old in fact it was on my birthday my dad who was a tough guy and hard to get along with came in on the birthday and he he said he has good news and bad news with that he handed me the keys to a year old chevy truck and said good news the truck is yours and the bad news is everything you own is in it. youe mom and I are divorcing finally for good your moms taking the girls but your on you own.

 

We never really saw anything eye to eye but that was fine, my dad was the textbook for a blue collar construction worker he did home construction mostly plumbing and electrical and owned his own company but couldn't see any reason for college so he thought it was pretty weird when I went the other way and got a BS degree in advanced Mathematics and then followed that up with a master degree in computer science I don't think he ever understood how I made a living wearing a suit and tie but later in life when I was about 35 and we had settled our differences, he said he was proud of the respect I had earned in life and was shocked at how much money I could make with a pen and days of meetings. He used to always make fun of me though because I'n not a handyman If something is broken I can hire a repairman or I can make it worse but that's about it. so he still came over and worked on small repairs around the house. My dad had no artistic ability of any kind and could barely play the radio so the artistic side came from mom she was a ballet dancer and teacher and then became a artist doing paintings and she's very successful but a true artist and kind of strange.

 

Mom is still around but lost my dad in 99 to a internal infection that he ignored for way to long because he didn't trust doctors but mom is still doing fine and has more commissions than she can finishand that's pretty much a good thing for a afine artist.

[jaxson50]

retrosurfer1959

I had a big falling out with my dad to, nothing as dramatic as what you went through, but we didn't speak for some time.

But you mention that your dad had no artistic ability, yet he was a builder of homes, that is a art in itself, and requires some mathematic ability = applied mathematics. Sounds like you had a chance to gain his respect and did so. That is great. I lost my dad in 99 too, I sure miss him.

[Cruznolfart]

Very interesting topic, Izzy, nice post.

 

My Parents are both gone now. They were, and will always remain, my heroes. Dad was career Army, a veteran of WWII, European Theater and 2 tours in Korea, one in 1950 the other in 1962. There were other absences on my Dad's part during my growing up years and Mom filled both roles admirably, raising two sons.

 

When Dad passed a friend wrote to comfort me and said, in his letter "We will never be the men our Fathers were." I couldn't agree more other than to say I'd extend it to include our Mothers as well.

 

OTOH, there were a few occasions when my Dad would express wonderment at something I'd done, such as operate a piece of heavy equipment or barbecue some ribs (exactly as he had taught me years earlier). My Mom, bless her soul and body, would marvel at damn near anything I did as if I could walk on water. She either adored me or thought I was brain-dead.

 

The idea of being able to outdo Mom or Dad in something has never crossed my mind. They'd have to be mortals in order for that to be possible. Oh, how I miss them.

[KSG_Standard]

My dad can fix/repair/troubleshoot ANYTHING. We never took a car to the shop while I was growing up, and he fixed everything that broke, so we had a lot of older stuff that he kept going. I'm pretty good at troubleshooting and repairing stuff, but I'll never have the talent or inclination he had. My mom is smart as a whip and I'll never match her wit...but neither one of them could cook a decent meal if their lives depended on it. I can cook, so I have that going for me.

[Izzy]

stevef: wow, incredible pops you had. I can't blame you for not being able to claim you've outdone him. Big shoes!

retrosurfer: way to pick yourself up by your bootstraps. For whatever reason him giving you a truck and letting you go makes me think he had love and concern for you, but also enough confidence in that you'd make it through.

I've noticed that some of the great men and women I've read about have had to work against the current to get by decently in life, and I get the feeling these challenges might be a factor in character development.

 

I didn't have a dad, but my grampa from my mom's side was like a father to me:

Gramps was the youngest of 13 kids. His dad was a gambling alcoholic gypsy who had raised horses in Spain but began raising fighting cocks in Mexico. Because his father didn't provide for the family, my grandpa taught himself to play guitar. He would play and beg for $ outside bars and on the street and take his earnings to his mother. He was not even ten yet. People felt sorry for him but they also noticed he was pretty decent at it, and when his dad caught wind of his skill, and the potential for income, he got his kids together and forced them to become a band. My grandpa had already taught himself violin by then. Long story short after working bars and small gigs the band became known as Los Hermanos Reyes and they became RCA recording artists. Grandpa was a recording artist at the age of thirteen. He also put himself in school as soon as he was able to, but with touring and work only made it to third grade. He said he wanted to know how much he was getting payed and what the contracts said. Out of the 13, only 3 ever learned to read and do math. He worked out in his spare time well into his 80s. Terrible husband, but great son and father. Here is a video of him from a film. Grandpa is the violinist on the right, the rest are all his siblings, including his sister:

[YOUTUBE]

[/YOUTUBE]

sound id terrible but, if you turn it up you can hear his arrangements. he did all the arrangements.

[Gibson101]

These stories are great!

My mom passed about 5 years ago, I was only 30 at the time. I spent a year or two pretty upset at the world!! As time passes I guess wounds heal. Probably not a whole lot I can't do better than my mom but it's only cause she taught me so much. She had the best laugh, I can almost hear it now! Sadly it's becoming an almost instead of I can hear it now!

 

 

Never met my dad and I never cared, I had the best Mom/dad in the world. She was a hard worker who had a crap job so she could feed and clothe us! She would always say you'll miss me when I'm gone, I never knew how much!

[milod]

Izzy...

 

Great vid.

 

BTW, I mentioned at one point that I love multilingual puns...

 

Hermanos Reyes ... Herman in German - as pronounced anyway, might mean "Lord," and Reyes from Spanish "kings," of course.

 

Hmmm. There are some interesting and fun multilingual pun possibilities. Musicially the King family was certainly a ray of sunshine; and perhaps in ways Reyes of Sunshine. <grin> And... <chortle>

 

I'd add that the vid looked very, very good here. Some great talent and good looks; at minimum the latter of which you certainly have inherited.

 

m

[FirstMeasure]

Two things my Mom showed me how to do that she admits I'm "better" are Cheese Sauce and Pie Crust.

 

Cheese Sauce

 

2 Tablespoons Butter

2 Tablespoons Flour

1/4 Teaspoon Salt

1 Cup Milk

1 Cup Grated Cheese (Longhorn or Sharp Cheddar)

 

Melt Butter in a sauce pan, then add Flour.

Soon as the four is slightly browned, pour in the milk.

Stir milk over low heat until it thickens (or until it starts to boil, but don't let it get more than one or two bubbles. You don't want scalded Milk)

Remove from heat, Add Cheese immediately. Stir in cheese till it melts.

 

Serve over Steamed Veggies or Baked Potato or whatever.

 

Not tellin' the Pie Crust secret.

[jaxson50]

Izzy

I loved the video, I have always wanted to see Spain, never knew why, I was always fascinated by Spain. A few years ago I found out that on my mothers side of the family, her father's parents came to America in the 1890's, his father was a violinist from Germany, his mother was a singer from Barcelona Spain. They moved to San Francisco in 1899, grandpa Ted, my moms dad was born there in 1902, they survived the earth quake but lost everything.

Interesting side note, at age 17 my dad joined the Navy in Jan. 1941, married my mom in November of 1941 just two weeks before the attack on Pearl Harbor. In 1943 mom's dad joined the Seabee's at age 42 and his son-in-law, my dad at age 19 out ranked him!!!

[jaxson50]

While my dad was in the Navy, 1941 to 1952, he served on a ocean going tug, a destroyer, and finally a air craft carrier, he was a machinist mate, worked in the engine room. He wrote letters to my mother and to his parents on a daily basis. My mother saved all of them in large scrape books which are still floating around in the family.

The one I have is filled with letters from 1946 when he was on the DD781- USS Robert K Huntington. One day I sat and read each letter, I knew he was at Bikini Atoll for the first two atom bomb test. When I got to the letters from July 1 1946, and July 25 of that same year I was taken back a bit.

In the letters from the days leading up to these test he tells of the mundane day to day events, how they were gathering all the old US Navy ships deemed to be obsolete or too damaged from the war to keep and the German and Japanese ships surrendered in the surrender. The men on the ships had little idea what was going on, but he mentions all these scientist and engineers that were being brought in, rumors were rampant.

Then on the morning of July 1, with the DD781 6 miles away from what would become ground zero, all hands were ordered topside and instructed to sit on the deck, they were instructed to cover their eyes when the horn sounded, he writes about a light so bright, he saw through his hand "like a ex-ray". The first A-Bomb (Able) was dropped out of a B-29 and detonated about 500 ft. above the lagoon where all the old ships were gathered. Of course no men were on the ship's, but man test animals were. Able was identical to "Fat Man" the A-bomb dropped on Nagasaki.

On July 25 of 1946 he observed the underwater detonation which is the famous footage we see in documentary and movies. For this detonation his ship was 8 miles away from ground zero.

He did have a radiation burn on his leg after the first bomb was tested. Years later the Department of Defense contacted all the men who served at Operation Crossroads and offered free health check up every ten years, which after a few years was changed to every five years.

I now more then ever believe these men were knowingly used as test animal's. I knew other veterans of Operation Crossroads, every one of them died from cancer, either bone or pancreatic or liver.

On his last ship CVE-92 he was in Saigon delivering aircraft to the French on Feb 1 1951, received mortar and sniper fire the entire time they were in port, so doesn't that mean he was a veteran of WWII, the Korean War and Vietnam?

[DanvillRob]

Jax... I LOVE your story.... tell more...anything you have.... I can never get enough...My father was a WWII vet, as were most of my uncles.... one uncle got a commendation from Bull Halsey, (my grandmother had a photo), for action on the Hornet, (the first one, I suspect). I've been trying to find out what I can, but haven't really found out much about it.

 

Thank GOD for heros like your father!

 

Fat Boy was awful.... the only thing worse would have been if we had to invade Japan...which Fat Boy meant we didn't have to.

[milod]

Jax...

 

I have a friend here in town who's a regional rep for the "three war veterans" that include WWII, Korea and Vietnam. Harold even wears the same "master chief" dress uniform he retired in. Never did any high school - figure that, given his rank if you might imagine - but qualified easily for college here after retirement.

 

I think he's got his masters now, and became a teacher. That's a helluva long way from the farm kid with an eighth grade education who was shoveling coal into a worn-out four-stacker destroyer before Dec. 7, 1941.

 

For a Veterans Day piece I interviewed a local guy who had been at the "on land" bomb tests that had soldiers who thought they would be heading to the Korean war instead of having that same experience of seeing the bones in their hands through closed and covered eyes. He said he's one of the last he knows about.

 

Told about one guy who got into a tank used in the exercises to drive it to a "let's bury the stuff exposed in the blasts" trenches. There was enough residual radiation in the tank metal that the guy was walking dead when he got it up to the gate. They took him away and it was the last, I was told, anyone heard anything of the guy. I sometimes think I've seen a lot, but... Sheesh.

 

Another WWII vet friend was a bomber ball turret gunner hanging often upside down and backward, knowing if anything happened to the mechanism, he was trapped. Even if the plane survived and could land without landing gear... he was gone.

 

... So Jax... ifn't you want to know the local three-war vet, give me an off-forum shout.

 

m

[jaxson50]

Cool stuff guy's, Izzy really started something now!!!!

Milrod and Dave, your going to love this, my cousin married a man in the 60's who was in the Marine's, at the time my brother and brother in law were in the Corps to so nobody really made a big deal out of it.

His name was Nelson, well, I never got the chance to sit down and talk to him until he retired from the Corps in 73'. We were at my aunts Irene's house, E.J. her husband was just finishing a 33 year career in the Navy, he went out as a Master Chief, so anyway's I was talking to E.J. about Nelson and he told me I really needed to hear his story but he never talked about it.

That night E.J. started mixing White Russians and soon Nelson loosened up a bit. He began his Marine career by joining the Army in 1943, well the found out he was 15 and sent him home, at 6'5" he was big for his age, but still looked like a kid. In 44 he went down to the Marine recruiter and bingo, he was in. He went thru basic, and was sent to the Pacific.

On his 17th birthday, Feb 19 1945 he landed on Red Beach on a island named Iwo Jima. He told me things I couldn't post here. They didn't dare fall asleep, at night the enemy would attack by crawling up to your fox hole and rolling in if you were sleeping you would be sliced up. The Marines had a standing order the first few weeks, anyone standing up after dark was to be shot. Period. The island is volcanic, he said they would dig a hole about a foot deep bury their C-rations and in about 30 min.s they were cooked, so you can imagine what happened to the dead.

His company consisted of about 240 men on Feb 19, by the next day 150 were dead, when they were pulled off the island on March 28 there were fifteen alive, five men still able to walk. He was one of them.

When I said that the Japanese were fanatical fighters he grinned and asked "what do you think we were?". He survived WWII, served in Korea and did two tours in Vietnam, he was one of the last Mustangs, meaning he became a officer thru battle field commissions, when he finished his career he was a Major.

I asked him out of all his experiences what stood out. He replied "I still had nightmares about Iwo", The enemy was everywhere, and now where, behind you, above you and in the case of one of his buddies, under you. One night a guy in his company was in a fox hole when he heard Japanese talking, but he couldn't see anyone, then they figured out, they were under the fox hole in a cave! Later they learned they were on top of a Japanese field hospital.