Blackie Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I doubt your sister is going anywhere for a while..............I have seen at a few families I work for having their 20 something kids back at home ........and sadly doing about the same thing ( not much ).........one Lady I work for was almost berating her daughter to me and I almost got sucked in as the girl was in the other room........... NeoC's Tough love approach is from experience how these things can go. Work toward your own self sufficence so you can leave and have your own life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 I doubt your sister is going anywhere for a while..............I have seen at a few families I work for having their 20 something kidsback at home ........and sadly doing about the same thing ( not much ).........one Lady I work for was almost berating her daughter to me and I almost got sucked in as the girl was in the other room........... NeoC's Tough love approach is from experience how these things can go. Work toward your own self sufficence so you can leave and have your own life. She is going to be out before the summer. Everyone (especially my parents) have agreed on this. Knowing my parents, this is a definite. Its just dealing with it all in the meantime. I love my parents a ton, and it sucks because she keeps hurting them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky4 Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Go for long walks, ride a bike, join a gym, etc. Get out of the house for a while. It's only a temporary fix, but it's something to look foward to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirstMeasure Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I wish I could' date=' buncha ******* neighbors around me would definitely call the cops if I played at any noise levels that could make people want to leave the house. Maybe just a bunch of tritones... [biggrin'] This reminds me of a time when my neighbor passed out drunk with his Stereo blaring away. It was one of those Construction Site Portable Stereos that you can hear a block away from the job site. It was about 2 in the morning and It sounded like the radio was in my bedroom. Figuring it was Bad Karma for a guitarist to call the cops on Loudness, i devised a plan. I turned my 120 watt solid state Ibanez Tone Blaster up, pointed it out the window and Played the most Obnoxious Hendrix Melody you've ever heard. Not 2 minutes later the cops were rolling through the neighborhood, heard his radio and made him turn it off. I would have asked him to turn it down myself, but he had proven to be an Uncooperative DH in the past. OT, Sorry I don't have any advice that hasn't already been given. Love 'em no matter what they do and you'll be the better man for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzboy Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Your parent will eventually get tired of her **** and give her a choice of getting out. I thank god every day that I am a only child myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruznolfart Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 It took me 'till I was 40 to learn how to say, when appropriate: "Wow, that IS a big problem! I'm REALLY glad it's not mine!" and walk away, physically mentally and emotionally. It changed my life and the lives of several people around me...all for the better...now. I know that's not always an option for you. But get a head-start on learning the lesson; you don't have an answer for everything that happens...and you don't have to. It's not your freakin' job. Be well, compadre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 It took me 'till I was 40 to learn how to say' date=' when appropriate: "Wow, that IS a big problem! I'm REALLY glad it's not mine!" and walk away, physically mentally and emotionally. It changed my life and the lives of several people around me...all for the better...now. [biggrin'] I know that's not always an option for you. But get a head-start on learning the lesson; you don't have an answer for everything that happens...and you don't have to. It's not your freakin' job. Be well, compadre. I have kind've learned that. But this thread has completely shifted direction. What can I do to keep myself sane and keep my stress level's semi low? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Tell your family not to bother you because you'll be masturbating in your bedroom. Seriously, are they gonna think YOU are the one with problems? [biggrin]/ Get outta the house. You're a sitting duck within those four walls. Go for a walk - even just around the corner out of sight. Friend's house. Guitar Center. Hang out at the park on the swings. Go to the store near your house - even a grocery store - and just walk the aisles. Occupy yourself somehow, or you'll be a victim of your sister's bullsh!t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Even though John "Cougar" Mellencamp has become a darling of the socialists in the USA, I like a lot of his music. Not a big Dylan/Springsteen fan myself, but JM did some stuff that moved me. Here's a song that came out in 1985 when I had just moved out on my own and was paying my own way. The world was MINE, and I wasn't taking no sh!t from nobody, and NO WAY was I ever moving back home... Might not mean much to anybody else, but this song from "Scarecrow" hit me like a ton of bricks. As the years passed and I had kids of my own, it became even more profound. The Dr. Phil/Oprah/Touchy Feely sh!t will NEVER WORK where personal responsibility is avoided.... On a Greyhound thirty miles beyond Jamestown He saw the sun set on the Tennesseee line He looked at the young man who was riding beside him He said I'm old, kind of worn out inside I worked my whole life in the steel mills of Gary My father before me and I helped build this land Now I'm seventy-seven and with God as my witness I earned every dollar that passed through my hands My family and friends are the best things I've known Through the eye of the needle I'll carry them home CHORUS Days turn to minutes, and minutes to memories Life sweeps away the dreams that we have planned You are young and you are the future So suck it up and tough it out, and be the best you can The rain hit the old dog in the twilight's last gleaming He said son it sounds like rattling old bones This highway is long but I know some that are longer By sun-up tomorrow I guess I'll be home Through the hills of Kentucky 'cross the Ohio River The old man kept talking 'bout his life and his times He fell asleep with his head against the window He said an honest man's pillow is his peace of mind This world offers riches and riches will grow wings I don't take stock in those uncertain things CHORUS Days turn to minutes, and minutes to memories Life sweeps away the dreams that we have planned You are young and you are the future So suck it up and tough it out, and be the best you can The old man had a vision but it was hard for me to follow I do things my way and I pay a high price When I think back on the old man and the bus ride Now that I'm older I can see he was right.... Another hot one out on Highway Eleven This is my life, it's what I've chosen to do There are no free rides, no one said it'd be easy The old man told me this, my son, I'm telling it to you CHORUS Days turn to minutes, and minutes to memories Life sweeps away the dreams that we have planned You are young and you are the future So suck it up and tough it out, and be the best you can [YOUTUBE] [/YOUTUBE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 She is going to be out before the summer. Everyone (especially my parents) have agreed on this. I'll bet ya ten bucks she's still there in September - unless she latches onto some guy and moves in with him. Knowing my parents' date=' this is a definite. [/quote']Nope. See above. Your sister wouldn't be there now if they put up a strong uniform front. Your sister is playing on the weakness of one of your parents. The other parent is playing along to avoid any more bullsh!t. This is like feeding your friends to the alligators so they will eat you last. Only prolongs the inevitible. There's an old Ben Franklin quote that comes to mind. Something like "The fastest way to get people out of poverty is to make them uncomfortable IN it." Your sister now has no bills, no responsibility, and she can come and go as she pleases. Nobody in your house is gonna be as mean to her as that cruel outside world. She's staying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
80LPC Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Exercise dissipates the stress hormones, and gives you a natural high. An aerobic activity such as cycling is ideal. Trust me - it works. Just be careful - don't have an accident Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 I'll bet ya ten bucks she's still there in September - unless she latches onto some guy and moves in with him. Nope. See above. Your sister wouldn't be there now if they put up a strong uniform front. Your sister is playing on the weakness of one of your parents. The other parent is playing along to avoid any more bullsh!t. This is like feeding your friends to the alligators so they will eat you last. Only prolongs the inevitible. There's an old Ben Franklin quote that comes to mind. Something like "The fastest way to get people out of poverty is to make them uncomfortable IN it." Your sister now has no bills' date=' no responsibility, and she can come and go as she pleases. Nobody in your house is gonna be as mean to her as that cruel outside world. She's staying.[/quote'] Au contraire. They are making a pay most of her money that she has for "rent". My parents will be returning half of this to her when she leaves (she doesn't know this) and we are making her very comfortable. Trust me, I have made it clear to her and my parents I don't like her presence there and it has hit home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 So, ya got ten bucks you don't mind losing? :D/ I've been there too many times, and I have a ringside seat for it as we speak. Got a 20 year old boy who bounces back and forth between two grandmas and the drug-infested 'hood. He won't show his face around the NeoCon Compound... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doublecutjr Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Sorry to hear of the trials and tribulations. For what it's worth, I usually go out and fly fish when I am stressed out. I've been fly fishing all my life and just being outdoors in nature does a lot for anyone. The tranquility of the forest and rushing brook or river does it for me and I also have a strong faith, and that helps. Life is short, go out and enjoy every moment you can. God will do the rest for you if you have faith. Best to you friend, it will pass. DCJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Fred, you got a car? That single piece of equipment is 95% of your freedom, no matter what your escape activity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearhead Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Play my guitars and/or ride my Harley! What else???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Well, it ain't no Harley.... But I can get to places in the desert where you won't find a single human pretty quick. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Okay... Breathing exercise... Big pillow or padded platform maybe 3-4 inches off floor level; sit "indian style" on it with legs crossed. Back straight. Hands more or less on your "lap" with fingers lightly held by the other hand (whatever's most comfortable." Back and shoulders, neck and head straight. Close eyes or concentrate vision on a single spot. Breathe in the nose slowly as the abdomen expands, feeling the air all the way down just inside your backbone into your lower abdomen. (Yeah, it doesn't go there really, but if your abdomen is relaxed, it'll almost feel like it.) Exhale through the mouth and feel the air almost coming up the front of your abdomen en route out. Martial arts exercise: Place feet parallel roughly twice the width of the shoulders; bend the knees until it's uncomfortable, then back off 30 percent. Extend both arms while exhaling starting palms up, and invert that as you reach extension. Inhale and at the same time reverse the hands' movement to bring them palm up just below your short ribs. Do 100 repetitions and when your thighs or mind start to scream, "feel" warmth radiating out of the palms of your hands. Shake it out. Do it again. Keep your breathing concurrent with the arm extension and retractions. Phase 2: Same thing with one foot held behind the slightly bent knee of the other. 50 reps, then reverse which leg you're standing on. Phase 3 is the same thing as phase 2, but starting in phase 1 position and shifting to one-leg position at full hand extension, then the reverse. A mirror helps with balance, btw, otherwise concentrate the eyes on a single spot. Breathing style is similar to breathing exercise above. m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Yeah.... Or maybe sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 Fred' date=' you got a car?That single piece of equipment is 95% of your freedom, no matter what your escape activity.[/quote'] Yes sir. Just spent the night out with my friends. They help out a lot too. I am blessed, I really am. As much as I have to b¡tch about, I have more to be thankful for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruznolfart Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I have kind've learned that. But this thread has completely shifted direction. What can I do to keep myself sane and keep my stress level's semi low? Sometimes it's best to just get away for awhile. How you do that may require some creativity. I ride. No worries in the breeze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky4 Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Right now? Jack Daniels, Diet Coke and vicodin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jefleppard Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 help the people you love but you can't live their lives for them. just do what you can. knowing you've done so will give you piece of mind andd the ability to rest easier though its not easy to see someone you love, hurting. relaxation and brathing will help you and might give you that step-back you need to put things in perspective but you already know the awnswer to your question. you said it in your post title. stress is a reaction. its an effect. we have to deal with the cause in order to reduce it. there are many ways to avoid a problem but only way to deal with it. put out the fire that started it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Nathan... You may have kinda ignored what a couple of us have written but... Think about this: Real stress brings out a combination of physical and mental responses that are designed to keep your head and body focused on doing something. A friend of mine in Paris who has maybe a dozen years on me calls that the "lizard brain" sort of response. Us "critters" have been doing that long before we were people. Getting rid even of the technical cause of stress may or may not end it, as in "To take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them." <grin> Problem is, especially with "family" or "work," stresses come from factors that even if the cause goes away tomorrow, the psycho-physical response doesn't entirely disappear. So usually something that releases some of the physical and mental responses to "something else" literally is good for both the mind and body - at minimum bringing them into a degree of harmony. The little "exercises" I suggested are variations on stuff proven to work along those lines more or less for as long as mankind has been writing - in the East, at least. You may have thought I was teasing or being flip. I wasn't. m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brundaddy Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Running. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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