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I guess Apu would understand......?


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I guess we could compare and contrast a New York girl and a California girl and a Texas girl and a Kansas girl and all get a chuckle and "get it".... I don't quite get this though....


From an Indian guitar site:


North Indian Wife Vs South Indian Wife


*** WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE ***


1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.


2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.


3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movies, theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.


4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholesterol or chronic gas disorder.


5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.


6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her grey hair.


7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.


8. You are a very "Especial" person to her.


9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south India until she met you.


10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to “walk out"


11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.


12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you"




*** WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South Indian GIRL as WIFE ***


1. Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras / Anna University.


2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with “... I say..."


3. She shudders if you use four letter words.


4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.)


5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.


6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.


7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra)


8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the dog or for herself.


9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.


10. Her favorite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth.


11. Her favorite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')


12. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.


13. You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of it.


14. Her Mangal Sutra weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.


15. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you.


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12. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.


Raga is an element of Carnatic (southern India) music. I took a class in world music back in college and, while I never really did entirely grasp the the whole thing,ragas are basically different collections of notes that are used to write music and each raga is related to seasons of the year. So, for summer, a song would contain specific notes - a raga - that is specific for summer. It's very elaborate and has all sorts of rules that would make us rockers give up.

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It's very elaborate and has all sorts of rules that would make us rockers give up.


I have an old sitar hanging on the wall in my bedroom. Talk about rules! 18 strings. Took me 4 hours over 2 nights to restring it. Not exactly an instrument you casually grab and noodle with on the couch.

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Apu Nahasapeemapetilon is married to the fragrant Manjula - who's beauty and culinary skills suggest she is from North of the Vindhya.


Unless you are from the South. Then it probably suggests she is from the South.


Shame we can't all just get along.....





I may, or may not, own a copy of 'The Simpsons - A Complete Guide To Your Favourite Family' ISBN 0-0063-8898-1

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