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Special edition: Advice from the Troll's box


Homz

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Special addition: Advice from the Troll's box; Why Liberals Are Smarter then Conservatives

 

Once again science has confirmed what we already know: liberals and conservatives think differently. Neuroscientists at NYU and UCLA conducted a simple test on college students all along the political spectrum.They were seated in front of computers and given the simple task of pressing a key every time the letter "M" flashed on the screen. Here's the hitch: every once in a while the letter "W" would flash and the subjects were told to not push a key when they saw "W."

 

Both groups recognized the letter "M" accurately. But when that pesky "W" popped up the conservatives just couldn't help themselves and -- DOH! -- they pushed the key! They simply could not recognize any letter not being "M." They continued to dogmatically stab away at the keyboard not seeing the letter so plainly in front of them. Everyone, of course, was hooked up to electroencephalograms, and liberals EEG's lit up like pinball machines while apprehending and considering all the subtle differences between "M" and "W." They made fewer mistakes and demonstrated a greater subtlety of mind. Conservatives, ever the partisans, just declared "W" was "M" and called it a day.

 

But lookout! The researchers threw a curveball by reversing the test, flashing "W's" and asking subjects to ignore the "M's." The results were exactly the same. If told"W" is the order of the day, then well, by heck. That's just what they're gonna do. It's that simple.

 

History has already shown that conservatives are suckers for "W." The letter has some kind of hypnotic effect on them, causing them to jab their index fingers at things -- liberals, mostly. "W" is their kind of letter, all points, aggressive, starting favorite conservative words like "War" and "Wealth" and "Welfare State." If you built a giant "W" out of steel and dropped a liberal on it, he would be impaled through his head, heart and groin. Yee-haw, it's BBQ!

 

Frank J. Sulloway, a researcher at UC Berkeley's Institute of Personality and Social Research told The Los Angeles Times that the results "provided an elegant demonstration that individual differences on a conservative-liberal dimension are strongly related to brain activity." The Times reports that "liberals were 4.9 times as likely as conservatives to show activity in the brain circuits that deal with conflicts, and 2.2 times as likely to score in the top half of the distribution for accuracy." Thus with one, simple experiment we have solved the mystery of how half our nation fell for the 9/11/Sadaam Hussein boondoggle. W is to M as Sadaam is to Bin Laden. While, they share some qualities (spikey, swarthy, hateful, gun lovin') they were decidedly NOT the same man. But those differences are irrelevant once your mind has been made up for you.

 

So now its been scientifically proven that liberals are smarter than conservatives. There's no point in gloating: conservatives don't recognize science, either. Just let them continue digging their own spider holes of fuzzy logic and dogmatic umbrage and come November '08 we can use our superior hand-eye coordination and letter-recognition skills to hit all the right letters.

 

C/P from http://www.alternet.org/story/62436/ By Erika Schickel, Huffington Post.

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Special addition: Advice from the Troll's box; Why Liberals Are Smarter then Conservatives

Do you need lights and sirens to go with your thread title?

Desperate for attention' date=' are we?[/b']

 

Funny thing is Homz, you can rest assured I'll always make time for people like you.

I'm a busy guy, nutty schedule and so on, but my life's passion is politics.

I rarely miss a chance to play an inning or two of hardball.

Especially with the "Special" Liberal Softball teams if they beg and plead enough.

 

 

NYU and UCLA .... all along the political spectrum.
At NYU and UCLA? There IS no spectrum there...

 

 

liberals EEG's lit up like pinball machines
This' date=' I'm sure, is true.

The Video Game Generation is now old enough to vote - with the same attention span they always had.

 

 

while apprehending
These people were arrested?

Homz, are you sure that word should not be "comprehending" instead?

No wonder you're so pathetic with the English language, grammar, spelling, punctuation....

Even your favorite Universities have their heads completely up their asses.

 

Let's hear it for Ivy league Liberal education....

 

 

"War" and "Wealth"
Both are necessary for YOU to survive in your scared' date=' pathetic, parasitic existence.

 

 

"Welfare State."
Your Eutopia.

Notice I spelled that differently? (Probably not.)

That's a play on words, malapropism, euphemism, artistic license.

Combine 'Europe' and your Socialist Idealogy with 'Utopia' and your Dream for this nation - thus, Eutopia.

Very clever, I know.

 

:-

 

 

If you built a giant "W" out of steel and dropped a liberal on it' date=' he would be impaled through his head, heart and groin. Yee-haw, it's BBQ![/quote'] I LOVE BBQ!!!

 

 

UC Berkeley's
Did you mean Berserkly?

Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines 'berserk' as "one whose actions are recklessly defiant."

Appropriate in my experience.

 

 

Institute of Personality and Social Research
Yeah' date=' those people would be right on top of [i']that[/i]...

Anything they can find to rationalize and excuse their stupidity helps keep them out of the Funny Farm.

 

 

The Los Angeles Times
Now THERE'S an objective source!

 

 

the 9/11/Sadaam Hussein boondoggle.
What a misunderstood Teddy Bear Saddam was...

I mean' date=' he killed less than half a million people using torture, gases, hanging, beheading, beatings, etc.

Liberals have aborted how many fetuses for the sake of convenience?

No contest there.

 

 

(spikey' date=' swarthy, hateful, gun lovin')[/quote']You talkin' about me?

 

:-

 

 

So now its been scientifically proven that liberals are smarter than conservatives.
Wait' date=' I think I missed that. Where was it proven?

Show me again so I don't miss it.....

 

 

Huffington Post.

If you EVER clicked on that website on purpose, you cannot have a pair of testicles hanging in that sack of skin....

If you do, you should forfeit them immediately.

 

I'll want proof that you have done so.

It's that simple.

 

 

Oh, and I'll have to thank ?_? .... er, what's his name, for posting the link.

 

Here, let me post the text so people don't have to go surfin' to get the humor.

To fully appreciate Homz sometimes takes a little work.

 

:-

 

 

 

For those of you who slept through World History 101, here is a condensed version.

 

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers.

They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and

2. The invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.

 

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization.

Together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals

2. Conservatives.

 

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer.

This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

 

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing.

This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

 

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

 

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.

Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

 

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water.

They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.

Sushi, tofu, and French foods are standard liberal fare.

 

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

 

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women.

Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

 

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production.

Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.

They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

 

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

It should be noted that a liberal (you know who you are) may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above; to defend their untenable position.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more liberals ..... just to piss them off.

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