TWANG Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 I've told this before, but I like it. Guy has an appointment. strange neighborhood, doesn't look to safe. He's got his accordian in the back seat, so he locks his car and goes inside, feeling sure something's going to happen. Sure enough, he comes out three hours later, and his car is gone. But the accordian is sitting in the parking spot. TWANG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSDx Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 A guy walks into a doctors office with a teddy bear stuck to his head...... the receptionist asks "May I help you ???" and the bear replies "Yeah, I've got this growth on my butt......." :- ..... nevermind .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animalfarm Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, ‘So, what did you learn?’ ’Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string.’ Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, ‘this time I learned the first five notes on the A string.’ One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks, ‘hey, what happened in today's lesson?’ ’Dad, I'm sorry but I couldn't make it to my lesson. I had a gig!’ ************ A missionary goes to the most remote part of jungle. As soon as he arrives in the village he is to visit, he hears drums beating wildly in the distance. He asks the Chief what the drums mean. The Chiefs reply is "Drums play, good. Drums stop, bad." During the missionaries entire month long stay he frequently asks the Chief about the continuous drumming. The Chiefs reply is always the same. "Drums play good. Drums stop bad. Finally as the missionary is leaving he asks the Chief again about the drumming. The Chief says "Drums play, g..." "I know, I know" says the missionary. "Drums play, good. Drums stop, bad. But why is it bad when the drums stop?" The Chief shakes his head and says" Drums stop, bass solo. Sorry, Bass Players. ALL musician jokes are fair game, post 'em.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weeladdie Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Not a musicians joke, but when I read your post Twang, the first thing I thought was that I wouldn't want to remember when MY balls fell off!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiberna Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 a D, a A and a Gb walk into a bar then the bartender says, "I don't serve minors!", so the D and the A stayed and had a fifth between them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
epirat Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Twang - I chuckled at your joke' date=' but my wife found it even funnier, when you took your drill to the headstock of your guitar" :- [/quote'] LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animalfarm Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 a D' date=' a A and a Gb walk into a bar then the bartender says, "I don't serve minors!", so the D and the A stayed and had a fifth between them.[/quote'] Oooooooooo, a music theory pun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animalfarm Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Today's post titles seem to be open to humorous interpretation orperhaps an "alternate understanding"... ie: "Pre-Slotted Bone Nuts" "Knob Trouble" "I think mine came from a bad factory..." http://www.instantrimshot.com Now, I PERSONALLY get to add "Anyone heard of Guitar Fetish?" to this list. And Jeffery, I DID miss the Bo Diddley's box.... Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parabar Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Hiberna wrote: Hiberna wrote:a D, a A and a Gb walk into a bar then the bartender says, "I don't serve minors!", so the D and the A stayed and had a fifth between them. animalfarm wrote: Ooooooooo, a music theory pun! Sigh. But a messed up one. For the joke to make sense, it would need to be an F that walked in with D and A --- F being a minor third above D. And if anyone claims that Gb works because it's a minor third below A ---- no. Gb to A is an augmented second. Had the note been labelled as F# instead of Gb, you might have made the argument (and the joke). OK, theory lesson over for today --- we now return you to the bad joke thread already in progress. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. Five. One. Five. One. Five .... Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thermionik Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 The five stages of a musician's life: Who is that muso? Get me that muso. Get me someone who sounds like that muso. Get me a young version of that muso. Who was that muso? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWANG Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 LOL altering posts are we?:- I couldn't find that post in the thread. Also you apparently didn't read the thread, or the urls provided, or the replys about headstock drilling. TWANG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWANG Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 These are great jokes. I keep runnng downstairs to tell my kid. who probably wishes I'd stop. tWANG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
epirat Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 I keep runnng downstairs to tell my kid. who probably wishes I'd stop. tWANG what the banana peels they left on the stairs weren't enuff of a hint............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animalfarm Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Let's unload on SINGERS!!! (this isn't a Singer forum - is there such a thing?). How can you tell if a SINGER is at the Door? He can't find the key, and doesn't know when to come in... How can you tell if your Bass Player is bad? The Singer actually notices... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 A Guitarist and a Bassist are arguing backstage and the Drummer walks up to them and asks why they are fighting to which the Bassist replies “Well the Guitarist detuned one of my Bass guitar’s strings and he won’t tell me which one.” I'm using that one soon! Thanks, AnimalFarm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Parabar wrote: animalfarm wrote: Sigh. But a messed up one. For the joke to make sense' date=' it would need to be an F that walked in with D and A --- F being a minor third above D. And if anyone claims that Gb works because it's a minor third below A ---- no. Gb to A is an augmented second. Had the note been labelled as F# instead of Gb, you might have made the argument (and the joke). OK, theory lesson over for today --- we now return you to the bad joke thread already in progress. [/quote'] You beat me to it, Parabar. As to the Gb to A reference, why wouldn't the A be a minor 3rd, since the major 3rd of Gb is a Bb? But then, the A would have been kicked out of the bar and the D and the Gb would have stayed and gotten sloppy and out of tune. In which case, the Gb might have become a G and the D could have become a Db and the whole joke loses meaning... Anyhow, the Gb in the key of A is a 6th, but in the key of A it would be referred to as an F#, but still a 6th... ad nauseum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
generation zero Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 How many singers does it take to change a light bulb? One... He just holds the bulb while the world revolves around him. What did the drummer get on his SAT test? Drool. How can you tell if the drum riser is level? The drool runs off both sides. How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? 5. One to change the bulb, and 4 to watch him, bragging about how they could have done it better. What do you call a failed musician? A drummer. How do you make sure your drummer shows up at practice on time? Order a pizza 30 minutes before practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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