Silenced Fred Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 So my friend is going out with this girl, who isn't the most pleasant to be around, and is really two faced for over a year. Now that college is starting, she is like starting all this little dumb fights between me and my friend for no reason. Now my friend is all pissed off at me because he told his girlfriend that I talk smack behind her back, but he is the one that starts everything like "Isn't she really annoying today?" or "What the heck is her problem?". What should I do? He's one of my best friends, and I'd hate to lose him, but I don't want to deal with the BS... Please don't get this deleted, I just want some advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Tell him hoes before bros. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted August 22, 2010 Author Share Posted August 22, 2010 Tell him hoes before bros. hoes before bros? I told him bros before hoes, and now he's all pissy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackie Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Get both of them together and then cuss them out !!.....nah nah.....it is the age old girlfriend being jealous of her boyfriends friends.....and your friend playing both sides......cause he likes her one way and you another........ Guys are supposed to be able to ***** about women to each other while the woman remain out of the loop. Now if this girl and you and your friend are going to act this way........you might as well propose a three way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted August 22, 2010 Author Share Posted August 22, 2010 Get both of them together and then cuss them out !!.....nah nah.....it is the age old girlfriend being jealous of her boyfriends friends.....and your friend playing both sides......cause he likes her one way and you another........ Guys are supposed to be able to ***** about women to each other while the woman remain out of the loop. Now if this girl and you and your friend are going to act this way........you might as well propose a three way Yeah, he goes and tells her that I ***** about her, but he always defends her and tells me I'm wrong Ummm... no threeway. I'll pass Blackie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackie Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Maybe yo friend P-whipped into stupidville Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 hoes before bros? I told him bros before hoes, and now he's all pissy Yeah so he will date her and dump you? 3sm? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted August 22, 2010 Author Share Posted August 22, 2010 Yeah so he will date her and dump you? 3sm? I pretty much told him he's whipped, and if he doesn't stop, he's gonna lose his friend. He said fine, but I'm really gonna miss you but you are a **** about this whole thing... WTF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dub-T-123 Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Maybe yo friend P-whipped into stupidville lmao!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animalfarm Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 You've answered your own question. The Girl is the problem. Discussing her causes the problem. Simply tell your friend that you value his friendship, and since discussing her/their situation/problems is causing friction, you would rather not do it anymore. All topics are ok, just not her. Your friend is "enraptured" by the gal. Refuse to discuss her anymore, in a good-natured way, if possible. Show him the new security system for your Guitars: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duane v Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Never come between a guy and his girl.... Speaking for myself only, my wife gets the benefit out the doubt over my pals without question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 I'm with Duane 100%. As stated before, don't bring her up and if he does run the other way..."look over there! Giant lizard." Get you a girlfriend and you'll understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted August 22, 2010 Author Share Posted August 22, 2010 Never come between a guy and his girl.... Speaking for myself only, my wife gets the benefit out the doubt over my pals without question. But when you are with friends, you just don't complain about her the whole time right? And I would say your previous post would work, but he always invites her to stuff that we set up for the two of us and another guy friend. And then she is ciodesencending and demeaning about it and complains Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G McBride Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 "My Best Friend Ran Off With My Wife and I Miss Him" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky4 Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Be honest with yourself. Did you actually say something about him to her that could be considered a slam? If so, you're the problem. If not, you're better off without both of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted August 22, 2010 Author Share Posted August 22, 2010 Be honest with yourself. Did you actually say something about him to her that could be considered a slam? If so, you're the problem. If not, you're better off without both of them. No, he complains about her and asks if I agree. I didn't know he would just say stuff about me. The thing is, that yes I have, but the stuff he is telling her that I said, is actually stuff that he has said about her, but he won't actually go tell her himself. Right now, I'm almost at the point of being completely and totally done with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimbabig Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 You can be my friend, problem solved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted August 22, 2010 Author Share Posted August 22, 2010 I told him I need to talk to him, tomorrow morning before school we are gonna talk it out. I really don't want to lose him as a friend, but I'm not gonna put up with the BS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimbabig Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Fred I want you to go listen to "Salvador" by Chris Poland close your eyes and the let the music take you away. I truly think it's a song that you'd like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff-7 Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Pretty easy to spot what is happening here. All the stuff he brings up in conversations with you are what he feels about her, and instead of saying directly to her what is annoying the piss out of him he instead uses you as his scapegoat in order to make her see what he's feeling without suffering the consequences if she doesn't like his opinion about her. One suggestion - If your friendship is worth that much to you - simply say nothing when he starts in on that stuff. Either he will use another friend as the scapegoat or it will build up to where he finally blows up and tells her himself how he is feeling. Just sit back and wait for the sparks to fly, he's making a rookie mistake and when she is gone he'll be apologizing for acting like an ***. And Blackie, it's called a devil's threesome for a reason. Edit: Fred I doubt the "talk" will go over very well. When you're still in high school and haven't really done the dating scene to a large degree you're usually so hung up on the girl that that he will be way too afraid to lose her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artie Owl Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Oh man, I do not miss the drama. I don't know what to tell you, so I'll just say what I know. If she is good for him, he wouldn't ***** about her all the time and it wouldn't be a problem. In my experience this is one of those things you just have to ride out, give him the space to figure out what he wants and such. Typically if someone is acting that way, and you've been friends for a good while, it'll all work out in the end. But as with what everyone else said if you're all still hanging out together for the time being, play the stone wall, where you have no comment on the subject, and if he keeps dragging you into it ask him why it's such a big deal what you think, and not what they think of their relationship; it shouldn't matter what you think anyway. Time is on your side here man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted August 22, 2010 Author Share Posted August 22, 2010 That's what I'm doing today. I'm telling him I no longer have comment on anything about their relationship. If he still wants to be friends, than that's fine, but I won't be doing anything with the both of them anymore. Thanks Duane for keeping this up, I know it went down a bad path in the first couple of posts... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I think the fact that Duane and Izzy have commented - and they're both rather older than you - illustrates my own point rather well. Both made good comments. Welcome to the one of the entries of "adulthood." It ain't gonna change for you over the next 60-80 years. When we pair up with a "partner," it changes social dynamics among "friends." It's been somewhat similar when you were a "child," but you ain't a kid any more. Even so, remember how friendships and group dynamics changed as you grew up and changed inside your head and what you wanted to do and to be? Given that most of us have, at various times in our adult lives, a "partner," we've gotta figure how to cope with a changed social dynamic. You're no longer in a one-to-one dynamic with your "friend," you're now in a three-part social dynamic. So... you have a relationship with your friend. You have a relationship with the girlfriend. Your friend has a relationship with his girlfriend. Your friend and his girlfriend have a combined relationship with you. You and your friend have a combined relationship with her - and you and the girl have a combined relationship with your friend. The complexity would be greatly magnified if you had a girlfriend. As I say... welcome to the club. Ain't it fun? <grin> m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Been there, done that. You are learning something about the female of our species. Some, I reiterate, SOME women are horribly possessive and try to come between THEIR man and other women, male friends, family members, guitars, dogs, cats, cars, you name it. If it interests THEIR man they become jealous of IT and will do whatever they can to come between the two. If HER man doesn't give her 100% of his attention 100% of they time, she isn't having it. Next time she begins to stir the pot, have a man to man sit down with him. Literally, put two chairs face to face and tell him to sit down. Sit down, and look him straight in the eye, man to man. Tell him that no matter what she said, this is how things are _______________________. Tell him that for some reason you and his GF are not the best of friends and that you cannot help that. No matter what she says, you two are still friends if HE wants to be. If he wants to rant about her to you, he still can, but if you offer an opinion or advice, it is between YOU and HIM. At some point he will figure out what a mean, conniving, jealous, childish, possessive, person she is and kick her to the curb. Warning! This kind of female can get violent when kicked to the curb. Keep guit tars and automobiles firmly locked up and at a fer distance. At times this may require guns and lawyers, i.e. restraining orders and police officers. Luckily, this is the extreme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 One other thing Fred, Remember, your friend is new to this too. If he chooses to discuss things about her with you, he needs to listen to your advice and either take it or not. If he agrees with you he needs to not say to her, "Fred said...." He needs to man up and tell her what HE thinks, not what Fred said. And, realize that this is as hard for him as you and to leave the unsavory name calling at the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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