NeoConMan Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Got this in an email. You've probably seen this before, but here's one for the holidays. Men beware!!! This is alarming Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones! Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men: 1) Argued over nothing. 2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. 3) Gained weight. 4) Talked excessively without making sense. 5) Became overly emotional 6) Couldn't drive. 7) Failed to think rationally, and 8) Had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary!! Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer! Ladies, Get over it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EVOL! Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Oh, man. Reminds me of last night. Drank two liters of PBR at this local dive bar called the Mutiny. An old friend's punk band Dirtbox Racers tore it up. I blame my coworker and jamming pal cause we were splitting rounds. I didn't need that last half liter, but how can you say no to beer when the other guy is buying? I sure was hurting this morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Wow! Turns out "Sexist" wasn't included in the rules no-no's. Well-freakin'-done Neo... I am a HUGE fan of loopholes and gray areas!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 Hey man, I even included the "Chauvinistic content" disclaimer in the title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 I noticed that... I thought "oh hell here we go..." but when I went to check the rules.... religion, racism, sexual content, politics.... all bad. No mention of anything else. Very clever man :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 Thanks for havin' my back! Nice to know I can count on you guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparky scott 29 Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 I believe it that... NO I DON"T!!! I'm even gaining weight as I type... Dumb people, don't they ever put the seat down when done?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Good GOD have I had that conversation a time or two! The seat works both ways, ya know?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 Same here! At work, I was always the biggest advocate of leaving it UP. Told the ex-wife - if you don't want it pissed on, leave the damned thing up at all times! But no.... She would invite people over (or we'd go over) and everybody drinks a little. Women keep leaving the seat down, sooner or later one of the men pisses all over it. Ever go to a woman's house where they put the fuzzy toilet coozy on the lid, so the seat won't stay up? Do you pee stooped over to hold it, sit to pee to save the trouble, or just piss in the yard when nobody's looking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 I'm going with door number 3..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Man, I haven't done anything REMOTELY like that......... Since yesterday........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisdude Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 I just saw the word beer and clicked without thinking!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grampa Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 That list has been around for a few years. It is kind of funny. Something I've noticed from Lite beer ads is that American men who drink it are very stupid. At least they get real stupid and do real stupid things to get their Lite beer. Mostly they ignore their women in favor of some icky beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted November 22, 2010 Author Share Posted November 22, 2010 To this day, I do not understand the idea of "diet" beer. Drink one, two, three, lose count, drink a lot more, eat the greasiest junk food... Smoke (even non-smokers) and do a million stupid things that a BAC of .10 will make reasonble to attempt. But, yeah, you're on a responsible diet while pissing away all your money. I drink what I want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EVOL! Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 To this day, I do not understand the idea of "diet" beer. I agree 100%. Want a lighter tasting beer? Fine. Want a low calorie beer? WTF? Drink some water. Funniest are the low carb beers with skinny runner types in their ******bag outfits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky4 Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 Ever go to a woman's house where they put the fuzzy toilet coozy on the lid, so the seat won't stay up? Do you pee stooped over to hold it, sit to pee to save the trouble, or just piss in the yard when nobody's looking? I so miss living in the boonies and pissing in my back yard whenever nature called. (and with the amount I drank back then, it called a lot) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 Funniest are the low carb beers with skinny runner types in their ******bag outfits. Let me 'splain it I am diabetic. I am permitted 270 total carbs in any given day. I also like beer, so having a Mich Ultra when I'm at a bar allows me to stay within my carb limits AND drink beer. Or something a little reminiscent of beer. When I'm headed over to my Knight's house, where REAL beer is brewed, I can only have small tastes and samples. THAT is why there is low carb beer. Because there is a market for it.... I am not a skinny runner-type ******bag, just diabetic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfpup Posted November 23, 2010 Share Posted November 23, 2010 ...I am diabetic. I am permitted 270 total carbs in any given day. Oh that sucks. On the bright side, you can eat a lot more bacon than the rest of us, right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted November 23, 2010 Share Posted November 23, 2010 It's all about attitude, Surf. I'm kicking Diabetes arse. My A1C (90 day blood sugar average, basically) now runs around 6.2... I've had it down as low as 5.9. I'm told a normal person's will be 6.5 But you're right.... meat and most fresh veggies are all you can eat, as long as they aren't prepared in sugar, enriched white flour and/or white rice :). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EVOL! Posted November 23, 2010 Share Posted November 23, 2010 THAT is why there is low carb beer. Because there is a market for it.... I am not a skinny runner-type ******bag, just diabetic... Right. Big difference between you and their target audience I see in the commercials. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted November 23, 2010 Share Posted November 23, 2010 Oh no man... I'm just splaining why Low Carb beer is not a bad thing. I'm with you on "diet beer". If you're on any kind of diet but a low carb one, beer is not your drink. And if you're morbidly obese, neither light beer nor low carb beer is gonna fix that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted November 23, 2010 Share Posted November 23, 2010 ... I didn't need that last half liter, but how can you say no to beer when the other guy is buying? .. Sounds to me like your band mate might have been trying to get you loosened up. With all them phytoestrogens... How does hat song go? "All the girls and co-workers get purtier at closin' time." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duane v Posted November 23, 2010 Share Posted November 23, 2010 I don't know about all of you, but I've never met a beer I didn't like ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artie Owl Posted November 23, 2010 Share Posted November 23, 2010 I didn't need that last half liter, lol, oh Americans and your "liter" of beer. Do they serve "liters of "soda"" too? Its typically "a beer", "a pitcher", or "a pint" here in Nova Scotia. Hell even "a bottle", but "a liter"? Lame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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