Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I have a ton of family issues. Surprisingly, they don't involve me but my older sister. Here's my question: What can I do, other than just play guitar, that may help with stresss? Suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Then let your sister deal with it. Let it go unless it involves you directly. I use the same process my Dad always did. He shared it with those around him. He told me as a kid "If I have a bad day because of you, I'll make sure your day is even worse..." Another favorite - "I don't get ulcers, I give them." People tend to leave you alone, works like a charm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackie Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Talk about it..........let your family know how you feel etc.........talk to a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShredAstaire Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I think if it involves your sister, it does involve you directly. Thats your family man.... Stress is tough...so many ways to deal with it....you could exercise...lift some weights and all that....drains your body's energy and the stress with it. You could write something? I've always found exercise and creativity as the best stress relievers for me. Have a good workout and you won't remember you were stressed...you;ll be too tired! hehe Good luck man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dom_JEM Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 i dont wanna share how i deal with stress......lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShredAstaire Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 ^^ Yes thats a way too but very short lived hehehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAS44 Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Well, I find taking my dog for walks very soothing. Expecially down by the river. It just gives you some good thinking time where I let go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I think if it involves your sister' date=' it does involve you directly. Thats your family man....[/quote']It may take a lot of years, but that way of thinking will burden you until you drown in it. Either it involves you, or it doesn't. If you can avoid getting involved, steer clear. If somebody tries to drag you into it to cover their own ***, punch 'em. If it becomes your issue despite your efforts, try to avoid hurting others but save yourself first - do it honestly. If it's petty, indulgent bullsh!t created by people who just love to start sh!t, tell them to get lost. Family is important to me, but that's the LAST place I will tolerate that destructive sh!t - in my own home. At work, I can leave. If it's friends, I can go home. If it's in my house, THEN where do I go? Nip that sh!t in the bud, or live with it forever. Your choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepblue Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Serenity breathing....breathe through your stomach. Concentrate and let your stomach rise and fall as you breathe Do it slowly. Watch a child as they breathe. Their tummies rise and fall. As we get older and stresses and anxieties enter our lives, we chest breathe...in other words, our chests rise and fall...no, no, no. Force yourself to breathe through your stomach and youll decompress...it takes some getting used too, but it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 Then let your sister deal with it.Let it go unless it involves you directly. I use the same process my Dad always did. He shared it with those around him. He told me as a kid "If I have a bad day because of you' date=' I'll make sure your day is even worse..." Another favorite - "I don't get ulcers, I [i']give[/i] them." People tend to leave you alone, works like a charm. Yeah, she lives at home now. 22 years old, was living in an apartment, then she stopped paying rent and got fired from her job for not showing up. My parents have bailed her out so many times and now she is back, living her with us, not doing a damn thing. It does involve me directly, because my lifestyle has had to change because of her. I try not to let it happen, but it does nonetheless. I'll probably go work out soon, but all my stuff is in the basement, which is where she is staying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 Family is important to me' date=' but that's the LAST place I will tolerate that destructive sh!t - in my own home.At work, I can leave. If it's friends, I can go home. If it's in my house, THEN where do I go? Nip that sh!t in the bud, or live with it forever. Your choice. [/quote'] Being 17, it is hard to do that though. I mean I can't make her leave. She is really irritating my parents, and they want her out as well. Hopefully it will be soon. But in the meantime, what can I do to deal with the stress? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dom_JEM Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 ^^ Yes thats a way too but very short lived hehehehe who said you have to stop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 She's your older sister, so she expects deferential treatment from you. Avoid her, avoid talking to her, and don't offer ANY sympathy. Don't make any aspect of her living at home any more comfortable than it already is. This isn't your fault, so don't even let anybody guilt-trip you into it. I went through this with my own older sister. She'll likely try to get you on "her side" in some issue with your folks. Tell her to fxck off. Your parents are probably much more divided on the issue than you can imagine. You have no idea the depths of the discussions they've had on the matter. She's gonna try to drag you into it to take attention off her own failures. Don't retaliate, don't try to impress her with how mean or smart you are. Just make sure she understands you DON'T CARE, and avoid discussing anything with her. Years from now, it will be better - after she gets her head out of her ***. My sister is now 50 years old, and we still don't talk much. To this day, she stirs up sh!t everywhere she goes - I don't need it. Her 27 year old daughter is even worse - a little drama queen who can't pay her bills or keep a job. Not your problem, so don't do anything to make it so it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andre S Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 don't have anything like that, but when there is family stress, I just ignore it...block it out.. If it affects me, and I can't do anything about it then I will fume about for a coupla minutes, and then it dissolves.... For example... my sister was fussing that guitar affects my studies too much she told my mom to take it away until weekends she went as though to move my cases from my bed. I was at my desk in another part of the house, so I got up, pushed past her into my room, grabbed my two guitars, and put them in the same room as I was... fuming while I did it, caused them to knock into a few things along the way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Of course, if you don't like my advice there are plenty of other really, really smart people you can listen to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 Neo- you speak the truth. I don't talk to her. I don't interact with her at all. I do my own thing. I may come off as a d¡ck, but I don't want to be connected with her. I'll just be glad when its over. That is my main worry though, that when she is older, and I have a life of my own with a family, that she will track me down and try and start sh¡t then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gilliangirl Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 What deepblue posted is true. When you're really stressed in the moment, take a few minutes and just lie on your bed. Put a book on your belly and concentrate on watching it rise and fall as you breathe. The best way to deal with stress is through exercise, especially aerobic. Get out, go for a run or walk. Play raquetball with a friend. I do and don't agree with Neo. You can't just ignore your sister. If she's living in close quarters you have to maintain some communication. BUT, remember your boundaries. Her problems are not your problems. It is impacting you, but they are still her problems, not yours. Have you told your parents how you feel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 What deepblue posted is true. When you're really stressed in the moment' date=' take a few minutes and just lie on your bed. Put a book on your belly and concentrate on watching it rise and fall as you breathe. The best way to deal with stress is through exercise, especially aerobic. Get out, go for a run or walk. Play raquetball with a friend. I do and don't agree with Neo. You can't just ignore your sister. If she's living in close quarters you have to maintain some communication. BUT, remember your boundaries. Her problems are not your problems. It is impacting you, but they are still her problems, not yours. Have you told your parents how you feel?[/quote'] Yes, I have and for the most part, they share my ideals. They don't agree with me not talking to her at all, but its how I cope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 That is my main worry though' date=' that when she is older, and I have a life of my own with a family, that she will track me down and try and start **** then.[/quote']That's easy. (Karen, you're not gonna like this - sorry....) If this occurs, you have every right to stand up, look at your watch and say "Wow, look at the time. You gotta GO!" Open the door for her and walk away. If she dares to utter a word in protest, throw her *** out. Husband, kids, dog, whatever. DO NOT allow her that sort of power over your life, it will poison your family. The thing most sensible (and sensitive) people refuse to comprehend is this; There are people in this world who's only way of survival is to count on the kindness of others. If people in this world didn't tolerate their sh!t-stirring/trouble-making, then life would be impossible for them. I refuse to enable any such behavior. Your sister does NOT "need" any help. She simply refuses to do what it takes to make it on her own, and your folks caved in. I can imagine the stress it causes between them - this is the sort of stuff that causes divorces. I get along fine with my parents, and only ONE of my sisters. I rarely speak to any of the others because they (and now their children) are no more than trouble makers. It's not worth it to me to have them around. And when they are, yes I can completely ignore them without creating any further animosity. If they don't like me very much, I'm okay with that. They won't show up at my house "needing" my help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dom_JEM Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 i guess im lucky that im an only child, well...i have a sister...but she doesnt know she has a brother..if u get my drift Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I get together with a couple of friends and chill for awhile.... It's your family. Love your sister, help your folks out... it's stressful on them, too. When you are an adult, it is perfectly possible to tell your sister that you love her, but won't tolerate her crap. Right now, it will develop character if you just buck up and shoulder the load. Trust me, I come from an entire family of Drama Queens. I often wonder if I was not adopted.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chewy60 Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 post pics or it didn't happen..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoConMan Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Now I just fire up the Marshall - EVERYBODY leaves... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 Now I just fire up the Marshall - EVERYBODY leaves... I wish I could' date=' buncha asshole neighbors around me would definitely call the cops if I played at any noise levels that could make people want to leave the house. Maybe just a bunch of tritones... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.