TommyK Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Police Comments These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos from around the country: #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." #14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop." #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had? #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can." #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." AND THE WINNER IS.... #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." I don't care who you are.... that's funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brundaddy Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 ...or "proof the police are d!cks." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S t e v e Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 no 8 is my fave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artie Owl Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Those were great, there's probably thousands more gems like that out there. On a side note, when my fiancie and I watch Cops, it's become very apparant that if you're a cop and you can't jumpa simple fence it's time for some exercise, or a desk. We've seen countless cops get to a fence, stop, then just lay on their waist and tip over feet in the air in complete hilarity while the bad guy hops fences for his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackie Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Mickey Mouse was a Dog !!...........uh oh............... Sometimes it don't matter what you say.......you're gonna be goin to jail anyway......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 ...or "proof the police are d!cks." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc People are idoits. I just wasted 20 mins of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Look! Im guitarest! Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Wait, so mickey mouse isn't a chicken? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brundaddy Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Those were great' date=' there's probably thousands more gems like that out there. On a side note, when my fiancie and I watch Cops, it's become very apparant that if you're a cop and you can't jumpa simple fence it's time for some exercise, or a desk. We've seen countless cops get to a fence, stop, then just lay on their waist and tip over feet in the air in complete hilarity while the bad guy hops fences for his life. [/quote'] A high school buddy became a cop - I was hanging out with him for a minute one night during his shift, and his partner always addressed him as 'Kool-Aid' instead of his name. When I asked why, my pal tried to change the subject & his partner jumped in and explained, grinning, that 'Kool-Aid' was chasing down a crackhead behind a house & when the crackhead jumped a fence, my friend just ran straight through it like the Kool-Aid Man. He wasn't fat or out of shape or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EVOL! Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 tee-hee [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZeUepy9LrU[/YOUTUBE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jnastynebr Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Sense of humor? I think NWA said it best...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmiJAMM Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Yeah, that Sting's a real cut-up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingarmadillo Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Those were great' date=' there's probably thousands more gems like that out there. On a side note, when my fiancie and I watch Cops, it's become very apparant that if you're a cop and you can't jumpa simple fence it's time for some exercise, or a desk. We've seen countless cops get to a fence, stop, then just lay on their waist and tip over feet in the air in complete hilarity while the bad guy hops fences for his life. [/quote'] I stopped watching Cops a couple years ago because everytime they did Albuquerque one of my daughter's boyfriend's relatives would show up! (she's not dating him anymore) On a lighter note, my favorite was the "Real Police Video" when this really drunk woman gets out of her car after a stop and says "I don't suppose we could settle this with S-x!" Even funnier- I knew both the cop and the woman since I was their kids soccer coach!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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