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Mr. Natural

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Everything posted by Mr. Natural

  1. The beauty pageant host asked the blonde finalist, "If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde finalist replied, "The living one."
  2. Speaking of gynecologists... Do you know how a woman can tell if her gynecologist has a thing for her? He "forgets" to put on the rubber glove. (If not to Hell, at least France.)
  3. And while we're on the subject, does anyone have any recommendations on a good biography of Mike Bloomfield?
  4. Yeah, Hammer of the Gods is good. I read that years ago. I think I gave my copy to my niece. Jimmy Page: The Definitive Biography by Chris Salewicz is good, and it's pretty up to date (published in 2018). I really enjoyed it. I also liked Peter Green - The Biography by Martin Celmins. As much as I like EC, I did not like Slowhand by Phillip Norman. It was published in 2018. I guess Norman is a highly regarded author, but I just didn't enjoy the book. For a little light reading, try Stone Me - The Wit and Wisdom of Keith Richards compiled by Mark Blake or What Would Keith Richards Do? by Jessica West. You're right, Sgt. Pepper; some of one's idols and heroes are not always very nice people. Happy reading!
  5. I kept a hognose for a few years. They ARE really cool. They don't take up a lot of space, and they're pretty docile.
  6. 1951. I'm 69 years old, but I think I look and feel like a man twice my age. Excuse me, I meant to say like a man HALF my age....
  7. My girlfriend accused me of having zero empathy. I just don't understand how she can feel that way.
  8. A baby harp seal walks into a bar.] The bartender says, "What can I get you?" The baby harp seal says, "Anything but a Canadian Club."
  9. Speaking of changing light bulbs and doctors ... How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the bulb and two to pull the chair out from underneath him. (You may substitute pre-law for pre-med as the situation requires.)
  10. Well, it's getting kind of late. I'm going to log off, shut down, and go to bed. I'll sleep good tonight. In fact, I always sleep good. I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed. Good night all.
  11. Why don't blind people sky dive? It scares the $h!t out of their dogs.
  12. Rodney Dangerfield... My wife told me she wanted to have sex in the back seat of the car. She wanted me to drive.
  13. As Rodney King once said, "Can't we all just get along?"
  14. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
  15. A three-way Iconasm! I'm becoming aroused just looking at the pictures!
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