Murph Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says... I'll have five beers please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says... I'll have five beers please. That's just nvts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 That's just so funny! Pip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdgm Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Ave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanHenry Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 A hunter is walking in the woods searching for the biggest bear he could find, when he stumbles across a giant brown bear. He pulls out his shotgun, steadily aims, and fires at the bear. The bear seemingly falls into a nearby ditch and appears to be dead. The hunter slowly walks over to the ditch, until he feels a tap on his shoulder. The man turns around, and just as he does, the bear asks: "Did you shoot me with that shotgun?" The man replies "Yes", and the bear throws down the man and starts raping him. In a few weeks, the hunter devises a plan for revenge on the bear. He brings his Double-barrell shotgun and is really ready to get even. He walks through the woods and sees the bear, so he steadies his aim, shoots the bear, and the bear falls into the ditch, seemingly dead. The hunter slowly walks over to the ditch, and just as he does, he feels a tap on his shoulder. When the man turns around he sees none other than the very same bear standing above him. The bear asks the man, "Did you just shoot me with that double-barrell shotgun? To this the man replies "Yes", and the bear rapes him. After a month has passed, the man has recovered and is very eager for revenge.He brings an Elephant Tranquilizer this time, and is sure he will have enough firepower to take down the bear for good. Just as before, the man is walking through the woods when he sees the very same brown bear. He steadies his aim and fires. The bear falls into the ditch, and the man slowly walks over to him. After searching awhile, the man is tapped on the shoulder once again. He turns around slowly to face the brown bear. The bear then asks him, - - - - - - "You don't come here to hunt, do you?" Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starpeve Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 A little Italian boy says to his Mother - " Mama, I want a BMX bike !" She tells him "Well, you go upstairs and pray to the little baby Jesus that if you're good for one whole year would he bring you one for your birthday" So the kid goes upstairs to his bedroom, kneels down in front of the statue of the Virgin Mary on his dressing table, clasps his little hands together and begins to pray. " Little'a Baby Jesus, if I'm'a good for one whole year can I please have'a a BMX bike...."...thinks for a moment then shakes his head- "Little'a Baby Jesus, if I'm'a good for one whole month........" Thinks again- " Little'a Baby Jesus, if I'm'a good for one whole week...." Thinks for a few moments, shakes his head, then rises, grabs the statue of the Virgin Mary, carefully wraps it in a towel he has lying on his bed, and slides the bundle under the bed. Then he kneels, clasps his little fingers together again , and once more begins to pray. "Little'a Baby Jesus- if you ever want to see'a you're'a Mama again......" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocketman Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Ha ha ha. Spock would have gotten away with it too with his "live long and prosper" sign. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean a martini?" asks the bartender. The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Maximus Ludicrous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4Hayden Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 A hunter is walking in the woods searching for the biggest bear he could find, when he stumbles across a giant brown bear. He pulls out his shotgun, steadily aims, and fires at the bear. The bear seemingly falls into a nearby ditch and appears to be dead. The hunter slowly walks over to the ditch, until he feels a tap on his shoulder. The man turns around, and just as he does, the bear asks: "Did you shoot me with that shotgun?" The man replies "Yes", and the bear throws down the man and starts raping him. In a few weeks, the hunter devises a plan for revenge on the bear. He brings his Double-barrell shotgun and is really ready to get even. He walks through the woods and sees the bear, so he steadies his aim, shoots the bear, and the bear falls into the ditch, seemingly dead. The hunter slowly walks over to the ditch, and just as he does, he feels a tap on his shoulder. When the man turns around he sees none other than the very same bear standing above him. The bear asks the man, "Did you just shoot me with that double-barrell shotgun? To this the man replies "Yes", and the bear rapes him. After a month has passed, the man has recovered and is very eager for revenge.He brings an Elephant Tranquilizer this time, and is sure he will have enough firepower to take down the bear for good. Just as before, the man is walking through the woods when he sees the very same brown bear. He steadies his aim and fires. The bear falls into the ditch, and the man slowly walks over to him. After searching awhile, the man is tapped on the shoulder once again. He turns around slowly to face the brown bear. The bear then asks him, - - - - - - "You don't come here to hunt, do you?" Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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