Reworked song

[Lars68]

I never tend to finish my songs, instead I keep tweaking and trying new things. The last few days I've been adding new vocals and instruments to a song I wrote about three or four years ago. I also remixed it and added a sort of atmospheric short intro. What do you think?

Lars

GROW WINGS & FLY

Do you remember so long ago?
It must have been ´86
We wore the grooves of "The Queen Is Dead"
sitting on your bed
with dreams and plans in our heads

Only you had the brains and grades
We cried on the day you left
and I had to stay behind
to bare the grind 
of the assembly line

Some dreams grow wings and fly
others crash wither and die
May yours soar like and eagle in the sky

I sent you mixtapes in the mail
We talked for hours on the phone
I said "go be an engineer
aim for the stratosphere
this town will still be here"

You moved to the city and you never called
Your mother said you found someone
All the years since have not erased
my memory of your face
laughter or youthful grace

Some dreams grow wings and fly
others crash wither and die
May yours soar like and eagle in the sky

Dark glasses hide your face
A streak of grey gives your age away
You say you're just stopping by 
but I sense a lie
please tell me why

All these years that I envied you
I'm so sorry but I never knew
You're safe now you've come this far
He is behind bars
No bruises no more scars
 

[fortyearspickn]

Great lyrics.   Will be interesting finding a melody and chords to put a frame around it and hang it on the wall !  

[Lars68]

1 hour ago, fortyearspickn said:

Great lyrics.   Will be interesting finding a melody and chords to put a frame around it and hang it on the wall !  

Thanks for the lyrical comment! Not sure I follow the rest, though. There are chords and melody for sure, but wether they are frame wordy is debatable 😄

Lars

[E-minor7]

Your finest piece until now - no doubt.

                                                                  Both text & tune walk in the same direction and don't fail to reach the bell. . 

[Lars68]

11 hours ago, E-minor7 said:

Your finest piece until now - no doubt.

                                                                  Both text & tune walk in the same direction and don't fail to reach the bell. . 

Thanks a bunch! Yes, I thought the new addition served the song well. It's rewarding going back with a new skills and a different perspective to revisit older songs.

Lars

[Murph]

Sweet.

[fortyearspickn]

23 hours ago, Lars68 said:

Thanks for the lyrical comment! Not sure I follow the rest, though. There are chords and melody for sure, but wether they are frame wordy is debatable 😄

Lars

Aaaach.   Sorry.  Jumped to the lyrics and didn't see the link for the song.  Great job on the chords and melody too!!  

[Lars68]

3 hours ago, fortyearspickn said:

Aaaach.   Sorry.  Jumped to the lyrics and didn't see the link for the song.  Great job on the chords and melody too!!  

Hey, no worries! Thanks to you, and Murph as well.

Lars

[AnneS]

Nice, Lars. You have a lovely touch with your arrangements a mixes—well done.

[Lars68]

On 8/20/2023 at 10:13 PM, AnneS said:

Nice, Lars. You have a lovely touch with your arrangements a mixes—well done.

Thanks so much, Anne. I really appreciate the listen and the support!

Lars

[MissouriPicker]

I love this, Lars!  I recall it from the past and I really like how you’ve changed.  The intro grabbed my attention.  I like somber and warm sounds.  Then the vocals really pulled us along.  Very, very nice.

[Lars68]

On 8/28/2023 at 6:49 PM, MissouriPicker said:

I love this, Lars!  I recall it from the past and I really like how you’ve changed.  The intro grabbed my attention.  I like somber and warm sounds.  Then the vocals really pulled us along.  Very, very nice.

Thank you, MP! This exercise of revisiting older songs definitely teaches me that songs are never finished and that time tends to reveal previous shortcomings.

Lars

[Murph]

I like different interpretations of the same songs. Especially done by different people.

Gillian Welch will slow a song down to the point where it's stationary, but it's just

so

darned

good.

[Lars68]

I've kept going through all my original songs since I first started this thread back in August. I've added new elements and revised old ones, as well as changing things as far as mixing. I can't quite remember all things I've reworked, but I've learned a lot. Here is one song I feel benefited a little more than some of the other ones. I hope you like it…

 

BLACK VELVET BLANKET

A long black velvet blanket
was hanging over me

A long black velvet blanket
as far as I could see

It kept me from harm and tears
but alone with my doubts and fears

Can you see me now, can you see me?
Can you see me now, can you see me?
Can you see me now?
Can you see me now?

A long black velvet blanket
My comfort and my curse

A long black velvet blanket
Never better but forever worse

With courage stabbed and pierced
So far from your arms for years

Can you hear me now, can you hear me?
Can you hear me now, can you hear me?
Can you hear me now?
Can you hear me now?

My long black velvet blanket
You tore it asunder

My long black velvet blanket
You brought me out from down under

And your love is my saving grace
My beacon for cloudless days

And you see me now, and you hear me
And you see me now, and you hear me
And you see me now
And you hear me now

[Cougar]

On 8/18/2023 at 12:57 PM, Lars68 said:

The last few days I've been adding new vocals and instruments to a song I wrote about three or four years ago.

I think there's a short story there, too.

[MissouriPicker]

On 8/30/2023 at 2:57 AM, Lars68 said:

Thank you, MP! This exercise of revisiting older songs definitely teaches me that songs are never finished and that time tends to reveal previous shortcomings.

Lars

True, Lars, many songs are never finished.  Especially if they are personal or nostalgic songs.   BTW, I really like the chorus of this song..  ……………….A few of my songs are almost forty years old and still available to be changed.   Sometimes at a gig, I’ll have to pause or play some instrumental run while I figure-out if I’m singing a new lyric, or sticking with the old.  Either way, it’s all about enjoying and sharing the music.  Have fun, my friend!

[Lars68]

5 hours ago, Cougar said:

I think there's a short story there, too.

If you are referring to the lyrics, they are from personal experience. There is a lot between the lines not spelled out, in the hope a listener can fill in the blanks based on their personal experiences. At least that's what I was aiming for…

MP, that is really cool that you have songs of your own from forty years ago. You have a true soundtrack of your life in your music. I hope you document them for your loved ones. 

Lars

[PrairieDog]

On 8/30/2023 at 5:52 AM, Murph said:

I like different interpretations of the same songs. Especially done by different people.

Gillian Welch will slow a song down to the point where it's stationary, but it's just

so

darned

good.

I first “met” Gillian when a chance encounter with her version of Orphan Girl stopped me dead in my tracks.  At the top of my playlist now. Remarkable. 

Edited October 28, 2023 by PrairieDog

[EuroAussie]

Lars, have you been listening to Nick Cave tuens recently ?? Sounds the prince of darkness all over yoru song, love the organ !

[Lars68]

4 hours ago, EuroAussie said:

Lars, have you been listening to Nick Cave tuens recently ?? Sounds the prince of darkness all over yoru song, love the organ !

EA, long time no see! Hope your are doing well. I keep working on my songs, singing, etc. Progress is slow but at least steady, with vocal hiccups taking place from time to time 😂 I still enjoy the journey as much as ever. What about your musical journey of late? I remember you posting an original song as a work in progress a few years back. Did you finish it?

As for my song and Nick Cave, no I have actually listened very little to him over the years. So any resemblance is more of a coincidence. With that said, I have always been aware of him and thought of his music as very likely fitting my tastes, but never really given it enough listening. 

Lars

[EuroAussie]

14 hours ago, Lars68 said:

EA, long time no see! Hope your are doing well. I keep working on my songs, singing, etc. Progress is slow but at least steady, with vocal hiccups taking place from time to time 😂 I still enjoy the journey as much as ever. What about your musical journey of late? I remember you posting an original song as a work in progress a few years back. Did you finish it?

As for my song and Nick Cave, no I have actually listened very little to him over the years. So any resemblance is more of a coincidence. With that said, I have always been aware of him and thought of his music as very likely fitting my tastes, but never really given it enough listening. 

Lars

Sounds like a bit like Ship Song or Weeping Song, take a listen Lars.  The song from a few years back, technically its done, I play it out live and it gets feedback positive, it does sound good. But .. Ive still not fully recorded it with all the parts, no idea why. I had so many people push me to lay it out done so its part of my history but I still have not done it. Might be a winter challenge !

[Lars68]

On 11/1/2023 at 11:24 AM, EuroAussie said:

Sounds like a bit like Ship Song or Weeping Song, take a listen Lars.  The song from a few years back, technically its done, I play it out live and it gets feedback positive, it does sound good. But .. Ive still not fully recorded it with all the parts, no idea why. I had so many people push me to lay it out done so its part of my history but I still have not done it. Might be a winter challenge !

Of course a song does not have to be recorded. If you play it out in the world that is great and all that matters. For me, since I don't feel I have the skills to play my songs live, it's like a songs doesn't exist unless I record it to the best of my ability. Hence, I spend a lot of time polishing and changing my recordings as a learn new skills.

Lars