Big Bill Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 "The best part of you ran down your mother's leg" "Busier than a two pecker billy goat during mating season" "I have to pi$$ like a Roman race horse with two peckers" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 To an acquaintance who has, obviously, had a recent hair cut: "Did you get your ears lowered?" Curiously, this is a recent version of the social query. My dad's generation said, "Did you get your ears raised?" That never seemed to make sense to me, as getting one's hair cut had the effect of raising the hair line around one's ears, giving the illusion that the ears were lowered. However.. now that I think about it. Maybe my dad's generation was saying, "Did you get your ears RAZED?" Meaning having the hair around one's ears razor-ed off to give that fresh cut look as part of the tonsorial process. I think I just solved a two generation mystery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The RandyMan Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 "He's got the I.Q. of a tree stump and the personality of a bar of soap . . . " (I think they were talking about one of my relatives) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 "he's more F***ED UP than Hogan's Goat". Who is Hogan and why is his goat F***ED UP? But, I think that would be a cool band name if it isn't already taken B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Versatile Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 That man couldn't run a bath V Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bill Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Sayings associated with passing gas. "Who died" "Who let out the rat" "Did you hear the barking spider" "Oops I think I heard a crotch cricket" "Speak up lieutenant, we'll find you" "Whisper sweet lips" "My compliments to the chef" "In some countries this is considered a compliment" "Who cut the cheese?" "Oh that sounded wet" "Chief who?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidl Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Sayings associated with passing gas. "Who died" "Who let out the rat" "Did you hear the barking spider" "Oops I think I heard a crotch cricket" "Speak up lieutenant, we'll find you" "Whisper sweet lips" "My compliments to the chef" "In some countries this is considered a compliment" "Who cut the cheese?" "Oh that sounded wet" "Chief who?" Are farts supposed to come in lumps??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rogerb Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Here are a couple of sayings used by Nashville publishers when they think a song lyric is great. "It's stronger than a bear's breath" I've also heard "stronger than a garlic milkshake" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 "he's more F***ED UP than Hogan's Goat". Who is Hogan and why is his goat F***ED UP? But, I think that would be a cool band name if it isn't already taken B) One definition: Hogan's Goat In 1855 a European goat farmer by the name of Hoek Hogan raised a particularly disgusting goat. This goat quickly became famous for being the most horrific smelling and ugly creature to wander the fields. It is legend that his scent could be detected from over a kilometer away (.6217 miles). To compare something to hogan's goat is considered a great insult. "Timmy hasn't bathed in a week. He smells like Hogan's goat" Sayings associated with passing gas. "Who died" "Who let out the rat" "Did you hear the barking spider" "Oops I think I heard a crotch cricket" "Speak up lieutenant, we'll find you" "Whisper sweet lips" "My compliments to the chef" "In some countries this is considered a compliment" "Who cut the cheese?" "Oh that sounded wet" "Chief who?" Yesterday my daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. We were in the hospital room, I with new granddaughter in lap. The nurse came in. My daughter said to the nurse, "Guess what? I farted!" "That's a good thing," said the nurse as she made a note of it. I said,"Wow I didn't know we were announcing that. I'll remember it next time." At which point baby grand daughter #3 chimed in. Oh this one's a keeper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surveyor Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Harder than woodpecker lips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy R Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Describing someone who is not very good looking. "Uglier than a sack of A$$holes" "Uglier than a bucket of worms" " Got beat by the ugly stick" "Fell from the trop of the ugly tree and didn't miss a branch on the way down" "Fugly" short for F*%kin' Ugly Parental threat to getting a whooping' " You're A$$ is grass and I'm the lawnmower" " Beat you like a red headed step child" Cold "Colder than a well diggers's A$$" Unit of measurement " A "C" hair" - C being an unpopular term for a lady part " A Red C Hair" and even finer unit of measurement Fart " A turd Siren" Going to the bathroom to poop. "Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl" " Dropping the kids off at the pool" " Do some low altitude bombing" " Take a Dump" "Pinch a loaf" " Heave a Havana" " Punch out a Dooky" " Drop a Deuce" That's all I got for now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Versatile Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 To 'Trump' The verb 'to fart'....derived from 'trumpet' Possibly elephant related V Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bill Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Possibly elephant related V You never met may Dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Mrs R says "Time flies when you wear long sleeves." Never have figured that one out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flight959 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 He's as about as sharp as a marble! She bangs like a belt fed mortar! Built like a brick sh!t house! She smels like a trawlermen's jumper! He's about as much use as an ash tray on a motorbike! Sweating like a blonde in a spelling test! Shaking like a sh!tting dog! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WahKeen Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 "He's so stupid, he'd win first prize in a stupidity contest.. But he's so stupid he would end up coming in second..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retrosurfer1959 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I thought about this thread today at the eye doctors office the doctor was trying to explain something to a new nurse she walked out and he just shook his head and said . Sorry she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer! hell she's not even the sharpest spoon in the drawer. I just chuckled and said well she probably has a good personality ? He just shook his head no and said nope stupid and mean but she has a real job skill since she just happens to be the youngest daughter of one of the primary doctors that own this clinic, so what she lacks in talent she makes up for in job security. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flight959 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 She's got a face like a bucket of fire damaged Lego!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidl Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Plumbers cleavage (butt crack displayed). If you don't pull up your pants, I'm gonna park my bicycle there. Describing someone bent over. All bent over like a dog sh!tting razor blades. Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimbabig Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 it's so cold my nipples could cut glass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WahKeen Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 "More nervous than a hungover preacher on Sunday morning." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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