How to annoy your teenage son....

[milod]

carv3r

 

Absolutely on those girls. From my outside opinion, I've seen a number of them grow from being nice kids to being nice people. <grin>

 

I can't speak to larger schools and communities, but "Title 9" that brought girls athletic programs into mandatory existence courtesy of the feds, I think it's been good for all small town teens.

 

Compared to when I went to high school, I think the girls have a lot more self confidence, the boys give 'em more respect, and they mostly have a lot more "adult" relationships rather than strictly hormonal adolescent relationships. Most of the small town kids have a chance to try just about every extracurricular activity available at school now. It used to be just the boys who had that opportunity.

 

I like girls with self confidence who know how to do stuff whether it's sports or guitar playing or painting or selling advertising. Always have. These girls will grow into fine people regardless where their abilities and the fates might take them in life. Will they mess up? Probably, but not any worse than their parents' generation.

 

m

[charlie brown]

Well, that may be true, in your "small town/area," Milod...but, not necessarily in other ones.

I think it has to do with being a Parent (not a "friend"), "class" (the kind you can't buy,

but can learn, or are born with), and...as you said, decent opportunities. Too many "small towns,"

are (too often) becoming havens, for poor, to very poor Welfare Fraud perveyors, and recipients,

entitlement leeches, and drug dealers/meth labs. Due to lower cost of living, less available law

enforcement, etc. equals more problems.

 

Yes, there are still good/great kids, and always will be. But, there are too many, that are in

an ever increasing, and relentless cycle, of obesity, low self-esteeme, drug problems, pregnancy

with mulitple partners, none of which marry the girls, which then become more welfare dependent,

single "parent" families.

 

I had not lived, in my particular Small Hometown, for 30 years. WHAT A DIFFERENCE,

between now and then. Of course, the whole world, and it's attitude(s), is different. But, in some ways,

it's easier to see the fallout, in small towns, too...where it literally does effect everyone, to varying degrees.

The things that were "big city" problems, have come "home!" Big time! Maybe less, in numbers/volume,

but just as serious. NONE of this existed, here, 30-40 years ago.

 

CB

[milod]

CB...

 

I really hate to admit this, but I'm where I am, as is one of my brothers and as were my parents, quite simply because it's as close to America as I remember it 50 years ago as possible.

 

There used to be a bumper sticker popular with some locals that said, "You've seen Mount Rushmore, now go home where you belong." <grin>

 

Yes, I've lived in cities and places I now consider "suburban" regardless that elsewhere they may be considered well-separated towns. I could still live there were I to have the cash, and that even includes a degree of greater comfort were "the city" I'd move to in Germany, the UK or Korea.

 

Here? Head west, north and east and you find population densities of .5 humans per square mile and I still think it's a bit crowded.

 

I also think most in most places "the city" has hit community-based America harder than here simply due to double the population of when I was a kid.

 

OTOH, our kids seem to do well in spite of roughly half the kids in school nowadays qualifying for free and reduced price school lunch - and a median annual household income of roughly $30,000 which is a horrid statistic. On the other hand, there ain't much in freebies as one finds in urban areas; it's still the frontier where one might make a life for the kids, if not for oneself.

 

It's a matter, I think, of the general local culture that's slower to change than closer to cities.

 

I'm hoping I'll be dead before it changes. It ain't "root hog or die," but there are more perceived positive than negative options, and more expectation to "do" than to "have."

 

And again, the rodeo cowboy/cowgirl lives here - at minimum in metaphor even among those who've never worn hat or boots, if that makes any sense at all. They know not everybody takes home the purse, but the thing to do is to take the ride, follow the rules and everyone encourage the other...

 

That's not everybody, and I don't think I've rose-colored glasses to the greater challenges kids and parents have than when I as a kid. I just think there are also opportunities kids have today for positive achievement than those my own age enjoyed.

 

m

[LarryUK]

You could tell your son. You're getting him a whore for his coming of age. But you're doing the filming. Just watch the face!

[krock]

Pulling more chicks than your son would probably do the trick

[charlie brown]

CB...

 

I really hate to admit this, but I'm where I am, as is one of my brothers and as were my parents, quite simply because it's as close to America as I remember it 50 years ago as possible.

 

There used to be a bumper sticker popular with some locals that said, "You've seen Mount Rushmore, now go home where you belong." <grin>

 

Yes, I've lived in cities and places I now consider "suburban" regardless that elsewhere they may be considered well-separated towns. I could still live there were I to have the cash, and that even includes a degree of greater comfort were "the city" I'd move to in Germany, the UK or Korea.

 

Here? Head west, north and east and you find population densities of .5 humans per square mile and I still think it's a bit crowded.

 

I also think most in most places "the city" has hit community-based America harder than here simply due to double the population of when I was a kid.

 

OTOH, our kids seem to do well in spite of roughly half the kids in school nowadays qualifying for free and reduced price school lunch - and a median annual household income of roughly $30,000 which is a horrid statistic. On the other hand, there ain't much in freebies as one finds in urban areas; it's still the frontier where one might make a life for the kids, if not for oneself.

 

It's a matter, I think, of the general local culture that's slower to change than closer to cities.

 

I'm hoping I'll be dead before it changes. It ain't "root hog or die," but there are more perceived positive than negative options, and more expectation to "do" than to "have."

 

And again, the rodeo cowboy/cowgirl lives here - at minimum in metaphor even among those who've never worn hat or boots, if that makes any sense at all. They know not everybody takes home the purse, but the thing to do is to take the ride, follow the rules and everyone encourage the other...

 

That's not everybody, and I don't think I've rose-colored glasses to the greater challenges kids and parents have than when I as a kid. I just think there are also opportunities kids have today for positive achievement than those my own age enjoyed.

 

m

 

I know what you mean. But...Even with the extended opportunities, it still seems to be the same kinds of

young people, that do well, even so. That doesn't always mean the same financial demographic, as much

as the same focused, well behaved, ambitious...not only to succeed, but to do so with pride, in themselves,

and their families, and communities. The other's I mentioned, have access to the same opportunities...

especially, in school, but either choose not to participate, or dont' have the support, and discipline

to allow themselves to continue/succeed. There's always been that divide, but...it's getting wider, and

more defined, now, seemingly.

 

CB

[milod]

CB...

 

I agree with you in a broad sense. That's why I suggest it's a huge cultural difference between the kid raised that "society" will ensure security and a kid raised where "society" simply is incapable of ensuring security without government moving everyone elsewhere into a higher population density.

 

That's not a political statement, but one of hard geographical fact. It's just that 50 years ago even in areas of higher population densities, government was not perceived, nor did they have resources, to do what they can do now with the consent of the people to tax them to pay for it.

 

There's still a bit of the frontier in those who remain here; even among many of those who leave for more money in more urban areas. Good folks or local ne'er do wells, there's little question they made their own lives, metaphorically fork their own broncs and all know they've gotta pick themselves up.

 

They get involved with city meth folks, they might find themselves in prison for life, and they know it. Occasionally one stumbles and occasionally one gets murdered by others.

 

But it's somehow "different" than what I've experienced in urban areas literally from sea to sea in the US and among friends from overseas. Canadians in prairie provinces and I think some guys in the outback in Oz know what I mean. It has nothing to do with packing a pistol and being a "tough guy" in a more urban sense or whatever else one might suggest. The ladies in the quilters' guild have it even if they've never stepped in green mud.

 

I don't think I can explain it easily. I've been trying to do just that for years on my history/philosophy e-forum. Some don't get it at all and never will. Some get it intellectually and almost none get it with an emotional gut understanding of the difference. Some claim to be in a "rural small town" where what I'm saying doesn't fit.

 

Then I tell 'em to look at population densities and sometimes, just sometimes, they kinda get it.

 

m

 

add: We even have an alternative school for some 50 kids (400 in the regular high school) who come here from miles around to finish a regular diploma and work for a living.

 

I might have a slightly different opinion if I were a parent but... I don't know any I'd be afraid to take into my home for a cupla years.

[charlie brown]

Yeah, I understand...broad sense, and "Broad Sense," too! Perplexing as

it can be.

 

 

CB

[milod]

The local girls won the game tonight 3-0.

 

I was wrong, the record is that they are closing their regular season at 31-0.

 

m

[TommyK]

 

'nuf said.

 

 

I actually pulled this one on my boys. I didn't, however, need to leave the house to make my point. Somehow seeing Dad come to the breakfast table with his drawers showin', just didn't sit well with them.

 

 

 

Had to do something similar with my girls. They thought a bare, pregnant belly, in full bloom showin' for all the world to see was 'natural'. Luckily I had a similar "naturality" tucked under my shirt. I untucked it.

 

 

 

Yup, those are the moments a dad just won't forget.

[milod]

Tommy...

 

ub bad

 

m

[TommyK]

It's called, "Tough Love," M.

[saturn]

I asked him today if he has "pumped up kicks?" and he just buried his head in his hands.

[Kimbabig]

Kind of reminds me of how I like to irritate people who grew up in the 80's.

"Damn, kids and their 'Heavy Metal'' "You wusses aren't gunna get any tone out of those flimsy things, raise your action and put a heavier gauge on like real men do" "Real men use flatwounds" "Shut up and play the damn thing, you know, when I was your age, we didn't care about 'vintage tone' we just played what sounded good." "Damned heavy metal, It's the Devils music I tell ya, even though my parents said that about my music, It's true because I can't accept that times change."

 

Or when someone asks me my opinion on something, "I have decided not to have opinions anymore as they only offend people, I neither like or dislike this guitar"

[saturn]

Yeah, my kids are always teasing me about my "old man music". They even compare me to Randy Marsh in the South Park Guitar Hero episode

 

You gotta have thick skin in our house. But it's all in good fun. B)

[milod]

Sheesh, you parent-age folks are scaring me. <grin>

 

In fact... in ways I'm hearing a paradigm of group think that was the teen talk of the time when you were the teens. <chortle>

 

Ah, I love the way there is differentiation of the generations. I fear I reflect my own just as much: A respect for the traditional, a rebelliousness against those who would force rather than offer either the traditional or the "new," and a perspective of finding one's own way whether others care for it or not.

 

<biggest grin> Hmmmmm.

 

I used to refer to myself as a traditionalist iconoclast. At times like this I find that term carrying more truth than even friends of different age groups might have imagined.

 

m

[TommyK]

You can have all the parenting plans in the world, but when you are staring down the barrel of a wannabe smart *** 13 year old, all the plans go out the window and you have to improvise.

 

I can and have put up with blue hair, dark poetry written on the bedroom wall, disco balls in the bed room, and black crepe paper stapled to the ceiling, which incidentally, when you lay flat on the floor, look up you could see a white rose. I thought that was pretty cool, myself. But when their 'creativity' infringes on others, I draw the line. Loud music? Nope, not gonna have it. Attire that not only offends, but degrades others' perception of the wearer?.. not a chance. Sometimes you have to do what they do to show them that what they do is disgusting or just plain silly.

 

Both of my daughters have kept their pregnancies tastefully clothed. I only saw my sons' drawers when they were in the laundry basket. I even had to 'splain the inappropriateness of droopy drawers to one of my son's buddies and how it showed a gross amount of disrespect to the woman of the house. He came over only once with his under things showing. After that he either wore a belt or had a firm grip on his waist band while he was in my wife's house.

[Gibson Artist]

Whistle the high part of Maroon 5's "Moves Like Jagger" as you go through the house. The look of total disgust on his face is priceless B)

 

I have a 16yr old daughter who loves metal and to tease her i sing baby by justin beiber and she gives me the evil eye lol.

[Musicfox]

When you see them wearing backwards ball cap hats.... Ask in a very serious manner.

 

I've been looking all over for those hats but they all face forward everywhere I shop.

 

I actually have had a few begin to respond before they realize the gig is up.

[DMichaelG]

1.) Ask him/her a question.

2.) Ask him/her to do something for you.

3.) Ask him/her to get a job.

4.) Ask him/her to get better grades.

5.) Tell him/her what you think...about anything.

6.) If s/he asks you a question replying with more than 3 words.

 

Any others?

[jaxson50]

When he brings a new girl home to meet you keep calling him "nutcracker"...

"nutcracker has told us so much about you"...."nutcracker could you pass the salt"

[Lungimsam]

Drop the teen off at school with the windows down and "My Way" blairing on the stereo.

[Lungimsam]

Rethink: Instead blair "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart" by Captain and Tenniele... Or Bet Midlers "Wind Beneath My Wings"

[milod]

At least we've gone beyond the era of the teen culture promoting intentional sexual ambiguity, from my perspective.

 

What's odd to me is that back when I was a teen, propping up your jacket or shirt collar & wearing a black leather motorcycle jacket with a switchblade zipped into the sleeve was the paragon of teen angst and rebellion. If one then proceeded to quote Shakespeare. <chuckle>

 

Ah well...

 

Just a thought from an old guy.

 

m

[jaxson50]

At least we've gone beyond the era of the teen culture promoting intentional sexual ambiguity, from my perspective.

 

What's odd to me is that back when I was a teen, propping up your jacket or shirt collar & wearing a black leather motorcycle jacket with a switchblade zipped into the sleeve was the paragon of teen angst and rebellion. If one then proceeded to quote Shakespeare. <chuckle>

 

Ah well...

 

Just a thought from an old guy.

 

m

You forgot the levis with the cuffs rolled up and a pack of smokes rolled into your t-shirt sleeve, for the real greaser, forerunner of the present day gangbanger, it required steel taps on the toe of your boots, with the edge filed sharp and lots of butchwax......