Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 If anyone has any they would like to share please do[biggrin] A recent one I am quite proud of... I was in HSBC bank a few weeks back and the guy in front was obviously from a local business and was cashing in some money. As he handed over the sack he apologised to the cashier, saying that he hoped it had dried out as he had accidentally put the money in the wash. BAM!! "that will teach him to money launder" I looked around for a laugh but got instead a half smile and eyes rolled to the ceiling from the lady next to me in the queue...oh well[biggrin] Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Lol wow. Sear that was pretty bad but its funny i would of laughed if i was there. You remind me of an old teacher who used pun's all the times and no one would laugh besides me and two other kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 Lol wow. Sear that was pretty bad but its funny i would of laughed if i was there. You remind me of an old teacher who used pun's all the times and no one would laugh besides me and two other kids. When you are a pun master that is often the way[biggrin] Sadam Hussien's day of execution was a bad day for him, but a marvelous day for my puns. My wife called up to me and my mate (playing Bond on two player trying to kill each other) "Matt...Jim, you never guess what they have hanged Sadam!!" I looked at my friend in my best Connery look and voice and replied "I always said he had a few hang ups" followed by ... "I always said the case to go to war was 'ropey'..." "I thought they were going to 'string' the execution out" "money for old rope" etc etc You get the idea; hmmm I think I may have opened a Gibson can of worms here! Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 LOL! Matt you made my day! [lol] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 The Spanish language is filled with puns and double meanings and usually having to do with sex.... But they doesn't translate well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 The Spanish language is filled with puns and double meanings and usually having to do with sex.... But they doesn't translate well... C'mon Dave lets here some!! Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 I consider myself a master of horrible puns. The bigger the groan I can elicit, the better. I was recently copying some old VCR home movies to DVD and I came across a good one from the early 90s. My wifes step mother had gotten some slippers shaped like a dragon as a Christmas present. As she was trying them on I said "look, she's dragon (draggin') her feet" I think I got at least 3 groans out of that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lowdown Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Haha. Yeah I can't help myself...everytime we drive past a cemetery I HAVE to say - "God,that must be a great place to visit.Everyone's dying to get in there." BOOM BOOM. My wife & kids always groan - loudly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brundaddy Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Every time I go by the Catholic seminary, I point out: 'that's the only place where you go in single and come out a Father." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lowdown Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Sad innit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 Haha. Yeah I can't help myself...everytime we drive past a cemetery I HAVE to say - "God' date='that must be a great place to visit.Everyone's dying to get in there."BOOM BOOM. My wife & kids always groan - loudly...[/quote'] that is a bit of a 'grave' statement there Lowdown[biggrin] Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 I consider myself a master of horrible puns. The bigger the groan I can elicit' date=' the better. I was recently copying some old VCR home movies to DVD and I came across a good one from the early 90s. My wifes step mother had gotten some slippers shaped like a dragon as a Christmas present. As she was trying them on I said "look, she's dragon (draggin') her feet" :- I think I got at least 3 groans out of that one.[/quote'] LOL!!! That reminds of Frank Skinner's experience at a party. After receiving several evil stares from this one particular woman she eventually came over and said "some of your remarks this evening are verging on the offensive" Frank replied "there is only one virgin around here that is being offensive" Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevef Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 We were out in the yard raking leaves when the phone rang.. My son went to get the phone but missed it. He came out and said there's no message and the Caller ID registered "Private Caller".. I said if it was important "General Mills" would have called and left a message.. #-o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
65 Casino Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 My wife and I were discussing Paul McCartney's divorce situation. My wife said she was just in it for the fame and money, you can see how the discussion went. To end the needless speculation on the divorce....wait for it...wait for it.... I said no worries honey, he has a leg up on her. My wife left the room arguing that I can never have a sensible conversation.... I know, we all saw that coming but my wife. She oughta know betters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 My wife and I were discussing Paul McCartney's divorce situation. My wife said she was just in it for the fame and money' date=' you can see how the discussion went. To end the needless speculation on the divorce....wait for it...wait for it.... I said no worries honey, he has a leg up on her. My wife left the room arguing that I can never have a sensible conversation....:- I know, we all saw that coming but my wife. She oughta know betters. [/quote'] LOL High fiving you for that[biggrin] It is great when you can pull your wife's leg... Paul McCartney did and one of them came off; she didn't have a leg to stand on. Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 We do seem to have a lot of pundits around here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Did you hear about the guy who was crushed in an industrial accident? He lost the entire left side of his body. He was in horrible pain, and it took a long time for him to recover, but he's alright now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanMan Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Please... no more pun-ishment... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 Did you hear about the guy who was crushed in an industrial accident? He lost the entire left side of his body. He was in horrible pain' date=' and it took a long time for him to recover, but he's alright now.[/quote'] quite a left field pun there Riverside. Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Old eastern saying: Many man smoke, but Fumanchu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 Old eastern saying: Many man smoke' date=' but Fumanchu.[/quote'] What does it mean?!!!! Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
65 Casino Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 LOL High fiving you for that[biggrin] It is great when you can pull your wife's leg... Paul McCartney did and one of them came off; she didn't have a leg to stand on. Matt LMAO, I always play with fire, as you can see in some of my posts(true to my nature) I will have to show her this post Sear. High Five backatcha! Note - no pun intended....Sear - I always play with fire... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermes Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 The Spanish language is filled with puns and double meanings and usually having to do with sex.... But they doesn't translate well... When I was reading the first post of this topic' date=' I was thinking: " yeah I love puns, but the only ones I know are spanish". Then I saw daveinspain and well it is not true that usually they are related to the most important thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 well we're on the second leg (page) of the punning now. (edited-I felt a slight tremor of guilt to the disabled) Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermes Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Did you hear about the guy who was crushed in an industrial accident? He lost the entire left side of his body. He was in horrible pain' date=' and it took a long time for him to recover, but he's [b']alright[/b] now. Oooooooh i got it man ha,ha,ha....all-right.... Old eastern saying: Many man smoke' date=' but [b']Fumanchu[/b]. Few-man-chew? is it related with chew tobbaco?. I'm asking because i'm spanish and it is the only explanation that I find funny for that pun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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