Shnate McDuanus Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Oh man, this thread is sheer torture! Spare me the punishment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witmer Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 I love puns, but it doesn't seem like many others do. I'm still working up the courage to ask my Roman Catholic boss: "Is it true that if the priest forgets the liturgy, you have Mass confusion?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shnate McDuanus Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 I love puns' date=' but it doesn't seem like many others do. I'm still working up the courage to ask my Roman Catholic boss: "Is it true that if the priest forgets the liturgy, you have Mass confusion?"[/quote'] That's just so beautifully perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duende Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 That's just so beautifully perfect. Great to see you back, I was going to pm when the dust settled a bit. cheers Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruznolfart Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 I love puns' date=' but it doesn't seem like many others do. I'm still working up the courage to ask my Roman Catholic boss: "Is it true that if the priest forgets the liturgy, you have Mass confusion?"[/quote'] I recently heard it had been determined that neurons have mass. I had no idea they were Catholic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lowdown Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 We were out in the yard raking leaves when the phone rang.. My son went to get the phone but missed it. He came out and said there's no message and the Caller ID registered "Private Caller".. I said if it was important "General Mills" would have called and left a message.. [biggrin] That Major Pain is looking for Corporal Punishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky4 Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 A pun, or paronomasia, is a form of word play that deliberately exploits ambiguity between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect.[1] Such ambiguity may arise from the intentional misuse of homophonical, homographical, homonymic, polysemic, metonymic[citation needed], or metaphorical[citation needed] language. By definition, puns must be deliberate; an involuntary substitution of similar words is called a malapropism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lowdown Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 A pun' date=' or paronomasia, is a form of word play that deliberately exploits ambiguity between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect.[1'] Such ambiguity may arise from the intentional misuse of homophonical, homographical, homonymic, polysemic, metonymic[citation needed], or metaphorical[citation needed] language.By definition, puns must be deliberate; an involuntary substitution of similar words is called a malapropism. Go away Rocky. My head hurts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruznolfart Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Anyone hear about the gal who shaved her legs and wrecked'em? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrClam Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 You can't take marble for granite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Sidney wanted to know where the sun went after it set. He went around asking everyone he knew, but they didn't know either. Pretty soon he had the whole of his school's science department trying to figure it out. They puzzled over it for a long time but they couldn't come up with an answer. In fact, they sat up all night thinking about it until finally it dawned on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 I was batting against a bi-league pitcher who had a mean fastball. Curiously, as I watched the ball coming at me, it seemed as if it were getting bigger and bigger. I couldn't figure it why at first, but then it hit me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Did you hear about the cow that couldn't give milk? She was an udder failure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Q: Why did the guru refuse to use toothpase? A: He was trying to transcend dental medication! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andre S Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 There was a sign at the drug rehabilitation centre that said: Keep off the grass! and Its not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it!!! {^;^} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 A man said to his psychiatrist, "Doc I keep having this recurring dream, I'm a tee pee then a wig wam". The doc said "it's obvious you're two tents" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 In the That twilight movie... thread I said "Vampires suck" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAS44 Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Man does this vaccum suck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Speaking of ... I have the WORST luck with appliances. ALL my appliances suck except the vacuum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 You know, I think Gibson is really sticking its neck out with that new long-scale Buckethead model. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Did you hear about the optician who accidentally fell into his lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I've decided to take up fishing. No particular reason; just for the halibut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shnate McDuanus Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 These are great, Mr. Natural. Sorry, no puns in this post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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