generation zero Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Unfortunately, yes, in almost every band, there will be some amount of drama. Think about it, you have 3 or 4 musicians, and a drummer, (LOL) all of whom consider themselves artists to some degree, so they will all inherently have at least a small amount of personal ego. Couple that with the fact that it is basically like a 4 or 5 way marriage when it comes to personalities... Not to mention that all members have individual personal lives, and schedules that have to be coordinated and worked around to make time for practices and gigs... Yeah, it's a headache. But it's worth it, IMO.
charlie brown Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Ego's equal drama...is that what you mean? LOL! CB
metalhed717 Posted February 22, 2009 Author Posted February 22, 2009 yeah well today at practice my best friend (bassist) decided he cant work with our rhythm guitarist anymore and that he'll come back when the other guy leaves. so who am i supposed to pick my best friend or the better musician?
Whitmore Willy Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Life = Drama The Question is...What can you make of it? (OOOOOUUUUUUMMMMM) Is there supposed to be an H in there? If it is was buisness I would look at it one way. If it is buddy- buddy stuff it might mean something else. Nobody but you can deside that. I know it's not much help but we've all gone through it. You make up your mind...do what needs to be done...and move on.
charlie brown Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Is your "Best Friend," having trouble with the other guitarist over music, or his percieved attitude, superiority (imagined or real) as a musician? It maybe a simple case of feeling inadequate, on your friends part, IF the other guitarist IS in fact, a much better musician. That's a tough one...and might depend on your long term goal(s), or even the strength/longevity of your friendship, as well. Generally speaking, "Great" friends, are not to be taken lightly. They're rare! So...??? On the other hand, good guitar players are plentiful, and maybe after determining just what the REAL hassle is, you can find another player that's more compatible? Hard to say (for sure), without knowing any of the folks involved, you know? And....even The Beatles, who were best friends, truly...came to blows, fairly often, in their early days, in Hamburg! So, life and bands with egos (add in "substance abuse," and alcohol, as well as "Girls"), does equal "Drama!" LOL! CB
Whitmore Willy Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 +1 on C.B. Lets not forget Pete Best. I imagine that was a tough decision considering the early stages of the game.
Gashole Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Everybody seems to agree on the drama....and I guess it must still be worth it because most of us do it again and again. Only once have I had the perfect band for me...too many years ago I befriended a bassist and drummer with way better chops then me who were into the same music. We shared vocals and wrote jointly, brought our picks for covers up and pretty much never shot the other guy down...We could improvise so well-we were all coming from the same place as music fans. We all got on well, made a little money and had a lot of fun for about 4 years. But then people move on to other places, marriages occur...serious personal disagreements develop...feces happens! And so I moved on. Sadly, I'm only on speaking terms with one of those guys today...don't even know how to find the other. Damn! Every other project I've been involved with has really been kind of a let down. The fit is forced, there's not the same commonality, or the tolerance for differences, disparity in skill levels is too much, maybe there's too much excess, incongruent goals-you name it, I've dealt it and been dealt it. I try for awhile, then go to ground for a few years...keep woodshedding, and pop back out to see the sun again at some point. Over and over again. Bet this topic gets moved to the lounge.
Scrap_Iron Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 There's rhythmn guitarists all over. How many bass players? How many best friends?
fenrirlupus Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 depends, but from the bands i know that take themselves seriously, yes. those that don't.... well... don't get anywhere... and if motivation becomes extrinsic, you fail.
charlie brown Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Well, without making a "pitch" (or "*****") one way or another, I have to be honest, and say that "Drugs" and the personality changes and agurments, they caused, busted up the best band I ever played in (We were late "teens-early twenties" at the time), and "Musically" at least...everyone was on the same page, and skill level! We were, however, not on the same page, as to when and how much "chemical fun" to have. Really broke my heart, at the time, but the base player and I both bolted. It's too bad, too...I think without that, we could have gone "someplace!" But, "C'est La Vie!" Also...The bass player and I are Still "Best Friends" and have been for over 40 years, now. CB
metalhed717 Posted February 22, 2009 Author Posted February 22, 2009 the bassist is pretty much just being a baby over a couple of jokes the other guitarist made and now he cant get along with him. were teenage guys, so our idea of fun is pretty much putting each other down (in good humor, of course) so i dont see why hes making such a big deal about it, he jokes about the rhythm guitarist just as much. and the thing is that the rhythm guitarist brings a lot to the table musically and has made the band a lot more serious and weve actually began writing music since he joined whereas the bassist doesnt contribute anything musically and just kind of does what we tell him to.
TWANG Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 band meeting. limits. standards. professional agreement. mature discussion. no name calling. set parameters for each person on what's funny and what aint. r e s p e c t. find out what it means to all of you. people who crap on other peoples feelings, will crap on yours, too. TWANG friends after.
Scrap_Iron Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I take that back. There's plenty of lead guitarists out there. A really good rhythmn guitarist is rare.
charlie brown Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I take that back. There's plenty of lead guitarists out there. A really good rhythmn guitarist is rare. AMEN, to that! CB
Bender 4 Life Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Well' date=' without making a "pitch" (or "*****") one way or another, I have to be honest, and say that "Drugs"and the personality changes and agurments, they caused, busted up the best band I ever played in (We were late "teens-early twenties" at the time), and "Musically" at least...everyone was on the same page, and skill level! We were, however, not on the same page, as to when and how much "chemical fun" to have. Really broke my heart, at the time, but the base player and I both bolted. It's too bad, too...I think without that, we could have gone "someplace!" But, "C'est La Vie!" Also...The bass player and I are Still "Best Friends" and have been for over 40 years, now. CB[/quote'] +1 on that CB !!!! Oddly, with both of the bands I was in, I was at least 8 yrs older than everyone else in the band,& I was chosen in both cases because of skill, and percieved stability. In both cases I ended up bringing the other members to drug and alcohol addiction, and wondered why both bands dissolved around me. I've been clean for a long time now, but nobody locally will touch me with a "10 foot pole" because my name has come to mean drama, and eventual breakup.........sometimes with a whipped topping of violence to boot. The only one of either band I still see, is the singer from the last band........and thats cordially, not professionally.
timandbob Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Temper the ego. That's what we've found. Our band has been together for 3 1/2 years now and we've had our share of arguments. Well, we're all also a bit older and having been in bands over the years, we've learned that in order for the band to survive, we each have to let the ego go and do what is best for the band.
timandbob Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I take that back. There's plenty of lead guitarists out there. A really good rhythmn guitarist is rare. That's really interesting. We also think that the hardest thing to find is a great vocalist. Our band did not have a lead guitarist until I was backed into it. It was a challenge, but its been a great learning experience. Our band, however, is based on vocals not lead guitar work.
charlie brown Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Yeah, Bender...that's unfortunate, really. We were the "stable" ones, and kept our smoking/toking to after hours, and not during play days, and even then, we didn't do much, really. I guess neither of us had that "addictive" personality? I don't know... We wouldn't have said a thing, really...except in the case of the lead guitarist, and keyboard player, "getting high" became more important, than playing...sad to say, as they were both really great players, even as young as they (we) were. It's hard to keep focus, when one or more members turn up so stoned, that all they do is laugh, when they should be playing their instruments. LOL! But, it was "The Sixties," and that was a part of it all, I guess? So frustrating, for the more "stable" members, 'cause we REALLY wanted to play, and DO something! Just couldn't make it happen, at that time, or in that ensemble. Damn! CB
Big Norm Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I take that back. There's plenty of lead guitarists out there. A really good rhythmn guitarist is rare. I agree with that..seriously... A lot of lead guitarist I know, try to win a race on a guitar neck, playing different scales ( that are finally all the same for everybody ) but they don't know the name of their chords... I am a rythm guitarist in my band, and I'm proud of it. There is not much chords I don't know and also where to play them on the neck for different situations. I also use a lot of arperggios..a name that don't even know most of the lead guitarist... Don't misunderstand me...there is a lot of lead guitarists that are good in every way, but unfortunatly, a lot of them are only running scales on the neck..and it plays on my nerfs... and the worst part of it...they think they are good. I feel good now...I said it. Bravo for the rythm guitarists...Lollll
charlie brown Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 That's really interesting. We also think that the hardest thing to find is a great vocalist. Our band did not have a lead guitarist until I was backed into it. It was a challenge' date=' but its been a great learning experience. Our band, however, is based on vocals not lead guitar work.[/quote'] Good for You Guys! I've always preferred good vocal groups/bands (Beatles, Byrds, Buffalo Springfield, CSNY, Moody Blues, etc.) to the endless fretboard flaming that others like. So, it's nice to hear of a band where "Vocals"are the focus. Bravo! CB
Gashole Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 I agree with that..seriously... A lot of lead guitarist I know' date=' try to win a race on a guitar neck, playing different scales ( that are finally all the same for everybody ) but they don't know the name of their chords... I am a rythm guitarist in my band, and I'm proud of it. There is not much chords I don't know and also where to play them on the neck for different situations. I also use a lot of arperggios..a name that don't even know most of the lead guitarist... Don't misunderstand me...there is a lot of lead guitarists that are good in every way, but unfortunatly, a lot of them are only running scales on the neck..and it plays on my nerfs... and the worst part of it...they think they are good. I feel good now...I said it. Bravo for the rythm guitarists...Lollll[/quote'] Mark Knopfler would agree with you! "Check out Guitar George-he knows all the chords-he doesn't like to make it cry and sing..." I was one of those guys you are talking about for the first half of my time playing. I don't understand it...well, maybe I do...then, I was more interested in being percieved as a good guitarist...with some years under my belt I find it more important now to BE a good guitarist-and that means a strong rhythmn guitar skill. Really, a tune can exist w/o a solo just fine. No rhythymn part though...no song! Kieth Richards once said something to the effect that when you go to a music store you don't buy a "lead" or "rhythymn" guitar-you buy a guitar! Oh-and Mark K. DEFINITELY can make it cry and sing too!
Dave Posted February 23, 2009 Posted February 23, 2009 Lots of good advice has been offered. If you are a gigging band, you are a business with obligations to your customers. With that in mind, you have to have some policies that cover behavior and work ethics. Someone has to be the formal leader who is the go to person when there is a conflict. You might equate this person to a direct report manager in a company. That person is responsible for performance and employee relations in his or her group. Otherwise, you will have unresolved conflict. People will get their feelings hurt from time to time. You have to get these people together privately and resolve the conflict. Public embarrassment will only lengthen the conflict. One on one dialog is probably the best thing. Talk to the offender first and try to convince him that his comments were off-base and he needs to lighten up. Talk to the other and see if there is common ground. Then, meet with both at once and try to get them to lighten up and discuss the issue. Keep it informal and conversational. Get the problem out in the open and discuss what was said and urge the bass player and the rhythm player to comment on what they think is the issue and ask them point blank , "Why is this an issue?" "What will it take to make this right?" "Was this fair and does it affect the group's effectiveness?" "Is this really worth a continuing conflict?" "Can we solve it here and now and move on with our music?" Someone needs to apologize and be the bigger person if you are to have peace in the band. It could be that they are not willing to let it drop and one will have to go. That may happen on its own. This type of conflict has occurred frequently in many famous money making groups. It's common and sometimes results in one leaving. Hopefully you can resolve it.
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