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women, can't live with them...can't live without them.


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A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?" "I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

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Same here. My wife is an enabler. Points out guitars to me and tells me I should get that one or do you have one of those? I no sooner bought my Clapton Strat and she told me I needed a Gretsch White Falcon.

 

"Ahhhhhh oooooooookaaaaaaaaay you're probably right." I replied

 

Oh and she also happens to be my best friend and beautiful. What's not to love?msp_thumbup.gif

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In the past 6 years my wife has given me an '04 50th Ann. Strat,a Tele,An Epi G-400 L.P.Custom,An Epi Custom Shop Firebird V and an Epi L.P. Trad. Pro plus a pile of other bits and bobs of musical gear.I think that if she asked me to wash the car in a force 6 hurricane I'd do it rather than risk the flow of gear.

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It's a lot easier to live with a woman once you start losing your hearing! [thumbup]

 

 

The guy across the street has a bumper sticker on his truck that says "If it wasn't for sex - there would be a bounty on women" I bet that bumper sticker has got me smacked on the arm or the back of the head at least 20 times. Every time I see it I chuckle and every time I chuckle my wife takes a swing at me. :unsure:

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So this guy is driving his car down the highway doing about 80 mph. Suddenly two flashing lights come up from behind him so he guns it up to 90 mph. The flashing lights are still on him so he takes it up to 100 mph, then 110 mph. It's no use he says to himself, he caught me. So the man pulls over and waits. The Cop comes walking up to the car rubbing his forehead and shaking his head. The Cop now says to the man .....Look.... it's been a long day and I really don't feel like dealing with this today. So if you can tell me an excuse that I have never heard before of why you were speeding down the highway, I'll tear up the ticket and you can go on your way!

 

Well.....the man replied!

It just so happens that two weeks ago my wife left town and ran away with a Cop who looks exactly like you!

 

And as God as my witness..........

 

 

I thought you were that same Cop trying to bring her back to me!

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