Searcy Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 What do Deadheads say when they run out of dope? "Man... this music really sucks..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cam011235 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 What do Deadheads say when they run out of dope? "Man... this music really sucks..." if ah could just get high... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cam011235 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cam011235 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond? A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cam011235 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish? A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rct Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Guy sittin on his porch, suburb of NashVegasTowneBergVille. Got his ol' hound dog layin up there on the porch with him, and the feller is strummin away at his 'SpensiveCaster 'coustic. His buddy walks up and says howdy and makes the usual small talk and such, bites off a slug and starts to ruminatin. The buddy is watchin ol' hound dog over there, he's just blissfully lickin his ballz. Guys buddy says "man...I shore wisht I could do that...". Guy says "go 'head...he won't bite you...". rct Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest farnsbarns Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Q. How do you know there's a drummer at the door. A. The knocking slows down. There's a lovely blue grass song called spirit of the morning, of course, us banjo players call it whisky for breakfast. I was at a jazz club in louth in the days just after Bin Laden was killed, a chap in the audience requested Over The Waves. The response was, "We're gonna do under the waves in memory of Bin Laden". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Here's an old one: How do you get a guitar player to stop playing? Put some sheet music in front of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 These jokes are in memory of Terry Rissman. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest farnsbarns Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 2 drummers walk past a pub.... Well, it could happen, one day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanvillRob Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond? One will mature and make money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis G Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 How do you get a drummer off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Q:What's the difference between a viola and a violin? A:Violin burns longer Q:What's an oboe good for? A:Kindling for burning a bassoon. Conductor is miffed at the percussion section and proclaims, "What do you do with someone who cannot play music? You give him two sticks and call him a drummer." From the percussion section. "Yeah, and when he can't play drums they take a way one stick and call him a conductor." Banjo player wakes up with a start as he remembers that after his gig the night before he left his banjo in the back seat of the car and forgot to lock the door. After rushing downstairs to his car he confirms his worst fear. In the back seat of his car are now two banjos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grampa Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Banjo player wakes up with a start as he remembers that after his gig the night before he left his banjo in the back seat of the car and forgot to lock the door. After rushing downstairs to his car he confirms his worst fear. In the back seat of his car are now two banjos. That's one of my favorites. You can substitute any instrument, accordion, tuba, Taylor guitar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Why did the blues guitarist cross the road ??? To get to the other slide.... What did the drummer get on his IQ test ??? Drool....... How does a drummer play pool ?? With acoustic... What is perfect pitch ?? Throwing a violin and hitting a banjo... Why did the punk rocker cross the road ?? He was stapled to the chicken.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Did you hear about the dylexic guitarist ???? He played lots of naidyl, nailoee, naidyloxim, nariod, and cinotnep scales...... Why is Meatloaf a singer and not a guitarist ?? Three of his four chords were bad.... Did you hear about the colourblind guitarist who went amp shopping ??? He couldn't tell the difference between a Marshall and an Orange....... What happened at the blues guitarist trial ?? The judge let him slide.... Overheard at the bingo parlor; " P - 90............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilpanda Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I only know stupid drummer jokes Q:What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? A:Homeless. Q:What's the last thing a drummer says in a band? A:Hey guys, why dont we try one of my songs? Q:What do you call a drummer with half a brain? A:Gifted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 So, um, ah, hmmm, a UPS man walks in to a Guitar Center, salesman says, " Would you like to try a guitar ?? " UPS guy says, " No, I'm just here for a PICKUP. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 JOKE; Bon Jovi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lungimsam Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Music joke: "'scuse me, while I kiss this guy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lungimsam Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 At a Siouxie and the Banshees concert, Robert Smith was taking a while changing the tuning of his axe between songs, and Siouxie says "Can't we get out of tune any faster?". They were a new wave/punk/alt band back in the '80's, so this joke worked in their case. Ha ha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzboy Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 There's the bathroom on the Right from John Fogerty's performance on VH-1 Story Tellers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-1963 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 How can you tell when a stage is perfectly level? The bass player drools the same out of each side of his mouth How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? Five - one for the bulb and four to tell how they would do it better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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