Daryl M Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 I agree with several other here. If you are an actual band, performing or rehearsing to perform gigs, then the line-up is the line-up. If your drummer is sub par, you may need to make a permanent change. As they say, "It ain't show friends, it's show business." However, if it's just a 'get together and jam for fun' band, then I don't see why it's such a big deal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LPguitarman Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 I just +'d several quotes on this thread. I would be very upset if I was in an established band and the other members excluded me without telling me. Just tell the drummer it is not working out and you've found another guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirstMeasure Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 I just +'d several quotes on this thread. I would be very upset if I was in an established band and the other members excluded me without telling me. Now that would be wrong in any case. Just bringing in someone else without having "The Talk" wouldn't be right at all. Also, there's got to be a petty darn good reason for me to miss a Gig. I'll postpone just anything to make sure the show goes on. If, however, I absolutely couldn't make the gig (broken arm or something) then I'd be finding a temporary replacement for myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocketman Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Bottom line, I guess I take music and myself less serously that many other people do. I would never presume that any band I'm in would never play without me. I would rather see someone fill-in for me if I couldn't make a gig or jam, than feel that everyone canceled it on my behalf. And I would never want to feel that a band is sticking with me if there was someone better or more suited to the band then me. It might hurt my feeling a little, but I'll get over it. It's only life. That's a great attitude to have. But does your drummer have this attitude? Doesn't sound like he does to me. So, I'm with Milo. It's sometimes better to lose a gig here and there than get people all upset. Just my two cents... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Versatile Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Probably stating the obvious but a drummer with 'good time' is a rare and wonderful thing...to be cherished and given a frontline role in a band. The drummer makes or breaks the band more or less. Most below par drummers have to be 'let go' sooner or later..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brundaddy Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 What would I do? Uh, play in a different band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 What would I do? Uh, play in a different band. When I asked the question "what would you do?" my thought was in relation to this drummers actions, not mine. The thing is, he's a neighbor and buddy of one of the other band members and basically an OK guy, but not a great drummer and he drinks too much which makes him even a worse drummer. While he was out of town and otherwise unavailable for a few gigs, we played with our other friend on drums and it goes so much better with him. Now he wants to be back and be the sole drummer. Well at this point it's like going backwards with him on drums. Rather than being able to see this on his own, he's going to force us to "fire" him and cause bad feeling. I would like to think if it was me in that situation and was holding everybody else back, I would recognise it and bow out gracefully and still remain friends with everyone.He's forcing us to be the bad guys, because his ego. Jamming with him is fine, but I can't play another real gig with him. It's too embarrassing and the other guys feel that way too. Besides keeping horrible beat, there have been multiple times when he's gotten up in the middle of a set to go take a leak because he has slammed 6 beers in one set! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witmer Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 When I asked the question "what would you do?" my thought was in relation to this drummers actions, not mine. The thing is, he's a neighbor and buddy of one of the other band members and basically an OK guy, but not a great drummer and he drinks too much which makes him even a worse drummer. While he was out of town and otherwise unavailable for a few gigs, we played with our other friend on drums and it goes so much better with him. Now he wants to be back and be the sole drummer. Well at this point it's like going backwards with him on drums. Rather than being able to see this on his own, he's going to force us to "fire" him and cause bad feeling. I would like to think if it was me in that situation and was holding everybody else back, I would recognise it and bow out gracefully and still remain friends with everyone.He's forcing us to be the bad guys, because his ego. Jamming with him is fine, but I can't play another real gig with him. It's too embarrassing and the other guys feel that way too. Besides keeping horrible beat, there have been multiple times when he's gotten up in the middle of a set to go take a leak because he has slammed 6 beers in one set! Ahh. I've been following here, trying to understand the situation. That bolded section makes it clear for me - he wasn't available for the gigs where you found the better drummer. That seems kosher to me. If he was willing to share with the better drummer, I'd say bear with him for the sake of friendship. But if he's not, I say fire his a$$. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brundaddy Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Would I be offended if a band subbed someone for me, to drive me out? That's some passive aggressive BS. If I played in a band with guys who pull gutless, sneaky moves ... I quit. If you have a problem with somebody, you tell them to their face -- you don't replace him and hope he 'gets the hint.' That's a drama scene. So yeah I'd play in a different band, if I were you, or if I were the drummer. Basically I would want no part of that band, and I don't mean any of this a a put down on you or your friends. I'm just speaking from lots of experience (good and bad). This stuff can be tricky to sort out & it can get messy fast. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowdiddley Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Would I be offended if a band subbed someone for me, to drive me out? That's some passive aggressive BS. If I played in a band with guys who pull gutless, sneaky moves ... I quit. If you have a problem with somebody, you tell them to their face -- you don't replace him and hope he 'gets the hint.' That's a drama scene. So yeah I'd play in a different band, if I were you, or if I were the drummer. Basically I would want no part of that band, and I don't mean any of this a a put down on you or your friends. I'm just speaking from lots of experience (good and bad). This stuff can be tricky to sort out & it can get messy fast. Good luck. As with most things, with a group of people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirstMeasure Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Ok, the idea that it's better to "Loose a Gig here and there" in order to keep personalities in check is nearly appalling to me. There is No Good Reason to loose a booking or cancel a Gig. Maybe I take my projects too seriously, but the only reason I tell a venue that we can't play is because we're booked. Not because the Drummer has a Bar-B Q to attend, or he has a date with his Wife for Valentines day (these are real examples, by the way). I also believe that the minute you take on a Gig you are no longer in it purely for the fun of it. If you are, then you're not giving the venue Owner the respect they deserve. They don't own a stage so you can have fun, they own stage so they can have Live Entertainment at their Establishment. That Establishment needs to make money in order to stay open, that means your Playing with someones livelihood,that means you better take yourself as seriously as the Venue Owner does. I like to compare Gigging Bands to Caterers. There are People who cook for Pleasure, and those who cook for a Living. If you cook for pleasure you do it at home and have no expectations to live up to. However, if you're a caterer, you have to cook for large numbers of people, on time, and with consistent results. Time to start taking your craft a little more seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jnastynebr Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 A sub-par drummer with a short fuse and a drinking problem? That sounds totally rock and roll to me. Shame on you for thinking of moving on to greener pastures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparky scott 29 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Like my parents always said, It's always fun and games till someone loses an eye.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tari Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 That was done to me a couple times . So I packed it up. So now I play and write on my own. Playing with people who are my good friends, I've never got in that situation. But I'd rather be told then have someone just show and take my place. ( Which has been done in my younger days.) And the people wanted to use my gear still with the new guy [lol] . Telling me I should understand :huh: YEAH RIGHT. Sounds like you did your thing. So's life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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