Patrick- Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Hi my name is Patrick ann i'm from Argentina, last year I started my own blues-hard rock band, and after a lot of struggle with different musicians and people i finally found a bass player and a drummer which were perfect (or that's what i thought!) I've been having really heated up fights with my bass player for really stupid reasons, he promised he would sell at least 15 tickets for a gig and 1 week before que suddenly told me he didn't sell more than 5 and he didn't care because people would just show up, after we decided we would be a band of only 3 members he wanted to add another person to which we told NO, I invited an "ex" to sing a couple of Zeppelin songs to our gig but told the guy "i don't want her around anymore after this, this is only because we need a high pitch voice " and told me he wanted her to perform a couple more songs after the gig (i said NO again) and now he told me that a sax player he knows had a song of his own (not finished btw) and he wanted to do it with us, and i told him that our own songs are first, and he had agreed also to that and we started fighting again and for hours... Basically this is a guy that is a regular bass player, has some skills to compose but gives a crap about what he promised or agreed or said, and that's something i don't stand... I don't hace an easy character, but i'm really sick of these "power fights" to see how far can he push it (there have been lots of other stuff) (and also my drummer is to passive, evertyhing is fine with him so probably if i tell him about kicking the bass player he'll tell me "come on, give the man another chance"... So, what do you guys think i should do? Thanks in advance for any answers, i really don't know what to do and my musical mentor is out of town to talk this with him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Yeah. I have put up with BS like this before, not worth the headaches IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick- Posted January 18, 2011 Author Share Posted January 18, 2011 Yeah. I have put up with BS like this before, not worth the headaches IMO And how would you reccomend me to kick out this guy? As i said, it's going to be tricky as my drummer is like Santa on prozac getting laid...in disney!!! Nothing's ever wrong for him ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 And how would you reccomend me to kick out this guy? As i said, it's going to be tricky as my drummer is like Santa on prozac getting laid...in disney!!! Nothing's ever wrong for him ! Honestly, just do it. Tell him its not working out. Its just business is all. The drummer is going to try some weird ****, but be sure you tell the drummer and you two are on the same page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick- Posted January 18, 2011 Author Share Posted January 18, 2011 Honestly, just do it. Tell him its not working out. Its just business is all. The drummer is going to try some weird ****, but be sure you tell the drummer and you two are on the same page Great Fred! Thanks man i'm pretty sure i'll take your advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Great Fred! Thanks man i'm pretty sure i'll take your advice! I was in your situation a while ago. A kid said she would play bass then flaked out when we started getting serious. Same thing with another guitarist. Both were friends before we started playing together, told them both it wasn't about our friendship, but I am serious about my music. Both said I shouldn't be. We are still friends, and it was rough at first, but business is business. One band I know is really good. The drummer has an attitude problem and bailed on the band on a big show that they were opening for a fairly large group. His reason? To show how necessary he is to the band. He's long gone, attitudes have no place in a band and that is what I like about my current band, but we are still looking for a bass player. Everyone pretty much grooves together and it works out well Best of luck to you man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 I was in your situation a while ago. A kid said she would play bass then flaked out when we started getting serious. Same thing with another guitarist. Both were friends before we started playing together, told them both it wasn't about our friendship, but I am serious about my music. Both said I shouldn't be. We are still friends, and it was rough at first, but business is business. One band I know is really good. The drummer has an attitude problem and bailed on the band on a big show that they were opening for a fairly large group. His reason? To show how necessary he is to the band. He's long gone, attitudes have no place in a band and that is what I like about my current band, but we are still looking for a bass player. Everyone pretty much grooves together and it works out well Best of luck to you man Holy molly Fred, all of your above posts are well beyond your years..................and are correct, and spot on.........................and I concur.. Also, usually drummers are much more vocal about these things, just sayin... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
domenic Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Yeah. I have put up with BS like this before, not worth the headaches IMO AMEN to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Holy molly Fred, all of your above posts are well beyond your years..................and are correct, and spot on.........................and I concur.. Also, usually drummers are much more vocal about these things, just sayin... I don't put up with ****. Life is way too short for that stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearhead Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 I've had problems like this with band members before, and I've played in gigging bands for 30 years, give or take.. If you keep him it'll only get worse. And chances are that it'll come to a head right when you have gigs and things are going good and you can't afford to lose a member. Find someone to replace him with. Keep your "basses" (pun intended) covered or you'll be without a bass player. GOOD and SERIOUS musicians are SOOOO hard to find. That's why I haven't played in any bands in a few years. It costs money to go to practice, buy equipment etc, and I can play at home for almost nothing. So get rid of the bum! If your drummer is really laid back like you say he shouldn't care if you replace the bassman to better your band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brundaddy Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Cut him loose and don't ever do another pay to play gig or 'sell tickets in advance' gig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tari Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Get rid of the bass player and if your drummer won't hang, START over and find new people that will. Also be the Leader of the new group, That way the last call's in any dispute are yours. Works in most bands I have been in in the past. Trying to be diplomatic dosen't work to well when everyone wants to be boss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krock Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Kick him!!! In the groin if possible :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duane v Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 if you want to play with talented musicians, expect a certain amount of friction. If you have to be 100% in control, align yourself with musicians that aren't as capable. I don't understand why you're upset with your bass player not selling tickets for a show. .... The only thing he did wrong was not telling you he wasn't going to in the first place. And finally, In my opinion I think its pretty chicken-**** to publicly go after your bass player... Basically you're going outside of the band circle to discuss band issues, which is a #1 no-no. Based on what I've read, I would think twice about involving myself musically with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 if you want to play with talented musicians, expect a certain amount of friction. If you have to be 100% in control, align yourself with musicians that aren't as capable. I don't understand why you're upset with your bass player not selling tickets for a show. .... The only thing he did wrong was not telling you he wasn't going to in the first place. And finally, In my opinion I think its pretty chicken-**** to publicly go after your bass player... Basically you're going outside of the band circle to discuss band issues, which is a #1 no-no. Based on what I've read, I would think twice about involving myself musically with you. Re reading, he said that he and the bass player always have power struggles and I initially thought he was only giving the ticket thing as an example, but I may be wrong. I dont know what his level of ability is, but I was comparing it to mine and putting it in the situations I had experienced, and used that to judge my call. He went outside the band circle because he wanted to confirm what he thought he wanted to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schnarz25 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 just go watch school of rock and that will show you everything you need to know go find a new bass player and then kick him out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 A band is like a sports team. It has a leader and all members have to work together. If you are the leader, he should support the team. Going off on these tangents, contrary to the team effort, you are better off without him. Find a new bassist, THEN give him the boot. Tell him he's better off with his sax player and girl friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jnastynebr Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Tough one. Just remember that there will always be some level of conflict with your other band mates. You cant just kick out every musician that pisses you off once or twice. I also don't see why you guys are pissing over playing with other musicians. Why not let the sax player or backup singer play with you? If your the one taking a hobby too seriously with a passive drummer and an easy-going bass player, you could be the one getting the boot. Zeppelin, Cream, Floyd, ect.... all great bands destroyed by members that piss and moan when they should be playing. If you are at the weekend warrior level, just relax and take it as it comes. Meet other musicians and make connections with other people that you want to play with. Keep these guys in mind if you decide you want to trade up, but people play in bands to have fun. If you become the band Nazi, you may soon find that no one wants to play with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick- Posted January 18, 2011 Author Share Posted January 18, 2011 if you want to play with talented musicians, expect a certain amount of friction. If you have to be 100% in control, align yourself with musicians that aren't as capable. I don't understand why you're upset with your bass player not selling tickets for a show. .... The only thing he did wrong was not telling you he wasn't going to in the first place. And finally, In my opinion I think its pretty chicken-**** to publicly go after your bass player... Basically you're going outside of the band circle to discuss band issues, which is a #1 no-no. Based on what I've read, I would think twice about involving myself musically with you. The problem with the tickets is that here in Argentina is pretty hard to play a gig without paying some money (that you eventually recover after the show..most times) is the unfortunately reality here, and if he commited and said "i'll sell at least 15 tickets" i think it's something he should have done, because basically that is a "screw you guys...you go and sell tickets and i'll be in my home watching some tv"... I'm only asking for some advice here, i want to know if i'm overreacting or not about this issue...that's why the name of the post is "Should I...?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick- Posted January 18, 2011 Author Share Posted January 18, 2011 Tough one. Just remember that there will always be some level of conflict with your other band mates. You cant just kick out every musician that pisses you off once or twice. I also don't see why you guys are pissing over playing with other musicians. Why not let the sax player or backup singer play with you? If your the one taking a hobby too seriously with a passive drummer and an easy-going bass player, you could be the one getting the boot. Zeppelin, Cream, Floyd, ect.... all great bands destroyed by members that piss and moan when they should be playing. If you are at the weekend warrior level, just relax and take it as it comes. Meet other musicians and make connections with other people that you want to play with. Keep these guys in mind if you decide you want to trade up, but people play in bands to have fun. If you become the band Nazi, you may soon find that no one wants to play with you. We let the backup singer and sax player play with us, but the problem here is that the sax player apparently has a song that wants to finish (or actually start!) with us, and we had agreed before that we were going to focus on our own songs, right now we are finishing a new song and the drummer has a couple of things he wants to show us, i believe that the priority now is to try to have as many songs of our own, not help the sax player with a song of his own...i mean the guy isn't even of the band! He's like a guest in the rehearsals and sometimes he grabs the sax and starts playing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LPguitarman Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 The problem with the tickets is that here in Argentina is pretty hard to play a gig without paying some money (that you eventually recover after the show..most times) is the unfortunately reality here, and if he commited and said "i'll sell at least 15 tickets" i think it's something he should have done, because basically that is a "screw you guys...you go and sell tickets and i'll be in my home watching some tv"... I'm only asking for some advice here, i want to know if i'm overreacting or not about this issue...that's why the name of the post is "Should I...?" It really depends on how easily you can find a replacement bass player that is as good as or better than the current one. If you're serious about being in a band, sometimes you have to put up with the "bs" until something or someone, in this case, better comes along. As far as him not respecting your decisions, are you the leader of the band? If you are, then tell him it's my way or the hiway. If you three are sharing the leadership, then the three of you need to get together, put your instruments down and have a good discussion on the future of the band. IMO, it's not a bad thing to have some occasional outside influences step in for a song or two. You never know what you'll learn. Good luck with your dilema. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy R Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 if you want to play with talented musicians, expect a certain amount of friction. If you have to be 100% in control, align yourself with musicians that aren't as capable. I don't understand why you're upset with your bass player not selling tickets for a show. .... The only thing he did wrong was not telling you he wasn't going to in the first place. And finally, In my opinion I think its pretty chicken-**** to publicly go after your bass player... Basically you're going outside of the band circle to discuss band issues, which is a #1 no-no. Based on what I've read, I would think twice about involving myself musically with you. I agree with Duane, It seems like their is always a "leader" so to speak in a band that puts in the most work and the worry. Being this person can make you controlling and not much fun to play with. Sometimes it is a necessary role but musicians are musicians ( Generally Flaky to some degree). Just remember that in any relationship of any kind two people are involved. Take a good look at yourself and what you can do to improve your leadership and communications skills. You will be dealing with people like this your whole life ( including friends, girlfriends, wife, kids, family, co-workers etc..) . I guess what I'm saying is the only person you can control is you... Think about it. Remember when playing starts to be a business it stops being fun and becomes a job. That guitar can start to feel like a shovel... Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brundaddy Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 If the only gigs are pay to play, then play house parties (they're way way way more fun than playing clubs). If you're in the city, go busking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick- Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 If the only gigs are pay to play, then play house parties (they're way way way more fun than playing clubs). If you're in the city, go busking. 85% of the gigs are pay to play, unless you become something like a "regular" there or you know the owner....it's pretty f***ed up that situation here in Argentina, this year in theory a law to prevent this is supposed to be applied...but who knows¿? Unfortunately also it's very difficual to play in house parties as it would be a lot of noise and house parties here start at midnight and finish at 7'o clock...i know it's not the same in the United States, so there is a really cool option, here is like calling the cops in advance to stop the party =( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjay777 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I was in the same situation regarding tix for a big gig. A co-guitarist promised he could sell 50 tickets within a week (we had a good month to spare). He'd say no problem, they'll be there. The night of the gig he came up short. The club owner was pissed, and we almost didn't play. We were the headliners. Luckily people eventually poured in and paid at the door. Its a good learning experience, but you don't wanna repeat it. Fortunately it wasn't the bass player. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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