TommyK Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Q: Why do cows wear bells? A: Because thier horns don't work Obviously Dave V has never been to a Rodeo. I don't care who you are... that's funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 What did the new G string SING to the New B sting? G D G G7 I'm back ON the saddle again C G G7 Out where a friend is a friend C Cdim Where we sleep out every night G Em Where the only law is "right" A D G I'm back ON the saddle again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocketman Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 This one is from my nine year old. What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZenKen Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 How do you keep a bunch of dummies in suspense? I'll tell y'all tomorrow. Still waiting Joaquin......... B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MojoRedFoot Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor. That's from Spongebob....how do I know? I have a 6 and a 4 yr old. How do you confuse a blonde? put them in a circular room and tell them to stand in the corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old time's sake. He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age. The old sailor asks, "How am I doing?" The prostitute replies, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots." "Three knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?" She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 Short joke: dem00n. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 Did you hear about the Celestion that robbed the bank?? The police found him hiding in a cabinet......Did you hear about the new Gibson Obama Les Paul?? It comes with a birth certificate of authenticity, hangs a bit to the left, and stops working after eight years...What do you call a jazz guitarest locked in a freezer? One cool cat.......How did the guitarest play pool? With acoustic......Why are strats lonely? Their coils are single...Why did the U.P.S. guy go to the music store? For a pick-up...What happened when the JBL dated the Celestion? They broke up too soon......What did the metal guitarest say to his wife when she was angry with him?? " Honey, you're blowing this way out of distortion." What did the JVM say when he got off the stage coach? " There's a new Marshall in town." What did the sadomachic singer sing through? I'm not SHURE, but probably a S&M57.....What do you call a guitarest without a girlfriend or wife? Homeless.. What did the Gibson say to the Fender? " Call me on your Tele." Why did the recording go see his psychiatrist? He suffered from compression... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 Why do ducks have webbed feet? to stamp out fires. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 Why do elephants have flat feet? to stamp out burning ducks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarryUK Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 Why's he rolling up that newspaper? He'll never be able to read it like that. Thought the spider! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Why did the drummer stop mid song? He caught a rabbit in his snare......The guitarest was gibby with excitement over his new strat.....:unsure: Did you hear about the '80s' guitarest who became an alchoholic??? He drank to INXS... And he always needed a FIXX... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevef Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker, Billy Connolly ----- "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DennisMiller Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker, Billy Connolly ----- "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time? Now THAT'S funny... A Rabbi and a Priest walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Now THAT'S funny... A Rabbi and a Priest walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?" Now that's funny Dennis, I'll bet the Rabbi was a Luddite, as the Luddites wandered in the desert for fourty years.......Come to think of it, many Luddites STILL wander in the desert..... :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 When I do a 3-some, we do 23 each..... I like threesomes, and the girls have each other to talk to after I fall asleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damian Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 So, ah, Two Luddites walk into a bar, bartender asks " What can I get you? " One Luddite says, " Oh, nothing complicated, something simple. " :unsure: If a Luddite plays guitar in a forest, does anybody hear? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The RandyMan Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. The dog leads him to the center of the room where he promptly grabs the dog by the tail and starts swinging the dog over his head in a large circle. The bartender yells over to him, "hey buddy, can I help you??", to which the blind man replies, "No thanks--just having a look around . . . " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitarkid Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 my dad's stupid joke Why did the punk rocker cross the road because he was stapled to a chicken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitarkid Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Why do cows have spots? BAM Because if they didn't they'd be spotless!!..... [lol] OK, I made it up, so shoot me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman5293 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 A friend of mine told me that he quit smoking cold turkey. And I said, "What do you smoke now? Ham?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony L Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 What do monkeys and chainsaws have in common? Thy both f*@k up trees!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Versatile Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one...but it is very expensive...and the lightbulb has got to want to change.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimbabig Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 How many Luddites does it take to change a light bulb? One to actually change it and 3 others to discuss how they want their old reliable light bulbs back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 3:00 this morning there was an 18 year old cheerleader banging on my bedroom door and screaming at the top of her lungs. After a while I couldn't stand the noise anymore so I got up and let her out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.