sparquelito Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 You may have noticed that I have posted today more than usual. And this, on a work day Friday. Truth be told, I am afflicted. I took the day off. I went to the Madison Urgent Care early this morning. Was pretty sure I had a 24-hour bug, or maybe some sort of Anthrax thing going. Either way, I felt like hell and barely managed the drive to the doctor’s office. Upon check-in, the receptionist recoiled in horror, and the entire admin staff went to MOPP Level IV and executed emergency contagion protocols. They took my word that my insurance cards were current (rather than have to handle them with tongs and latex gloves), and then shoed me away to the far end of the reception area. My nose was running like a faucet, my hair hurt, and my eyes looked like two bloody puncture wounds. There must've been at least eight other patients waiting to see the doctor, and they were all stacked up like cord wood at the other end of waiting room, leaving me to suffer in post-nasal silence down on the far couch by myself. The Nurse called me back, donned her Andromeda Strain clean suit, and then took three tubes of blood out of my arm. (Along with no small amount of bone marrow, I suspect. Dang, that hurt.) Tests came back negative for Cholera and Bubonic Plague, so they sent me home rather abruptly with steroids and anti-biotics. They said I had 'the common cold and a sinus infection'. They told me to get plenty of bed rest, drink lots of fluids, and to please never come back there in that condition again. And oh yeah, to make sure that my Last Will & Testament was updated, just in case. I staggered out of the building, recoiling from the bright sunlight like one of the zombies from Night of the Living Dead. I caused a brief furor in the parking lot, as I had stumbled into a pack of geriatric ladies who could've sworn they'd just witnessed John Carradine freshly risen from the grave. I fell into the cockpit of the yellow Subaru, put her on autopilot, and cruised back home. Pretty sure I caught a nap on the way home. I got home in one piece, and Beth put me promptly to bed with a glass of water, two Sudafeds, and a jigger of bourbon. Then Florence Nightengale headed off to a meeting, leaving me to fend for myself. I ended-up dozing most of the morning away. Slept like a baby; woke up every two hours crying. I finally threw myself out of bed a little while ago. Had an upper lip like a glazed donut, and my pillow tried to make the trip to the bathroom with me. I detached myself from the offending bed clothing, got dressed, and tried to make something out of the day. Stumbled out to the mailbox to the check to mail, looking like a homeless guy. The dogs ran away; their keen senses told them that they didn't want any of what I got. Today's postal offering held no surprises; two bills, five credit card offers, and a flyer from Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley, admonishing me to buy the Total Gym XL and have a younger body in five weeks, or just sixteen payments of $49.99. I've checked webmail, flipped around the youTube, and watched some funny bits by Bennie Hill. Hair still hurts, but the nose is running less violently than it was earlier today. I just had a beer, and that didn't make me feel better, so I am considering taking my sinus infection back to bed for a while. Am hoping to have a dream of Christie Brinkley. (Or Chuck Norris, who cares? As long as there's plenty of action.) I should get better and will see you in a few hours, God willing and the river don't rise. I will tell Christie and Chuck you said hi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quapman Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 I feel for ya Bro. Hope you feel better soon. Man colds are a b!tch. I wish my wife could have one. They have no idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karloff Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 I feel for ya Bro. Hope you feel better soon. Man colds are a b!tch. I wish my wife could have one. They have no idea. Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelly campbell Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Sorry to hear of this, hope you get feeling better tomorrow...I agree Colds affect me more that anything it seems. I would rather have the flu or something beside a cold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfpup Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuCGlcisMDo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karloff Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Get better Sparks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4Hayden Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 I could run up there and leave some moonshine in your mail box , get well your going to have too cut the grass 4H Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 I could run up there and leave some moonshine in your mail box , get well your going to have too cut the grass 4H Ach, don't remind me about the cutting of the grass, neighbor. I'll get to it eventually. But thanks, I do appreciate it. And the moonshine sounds good right about this point. Right now, I'm just happy to be alive and well, and the beers are going down with a larger liquid volume than the earlier stuff coming out my eyes and nose. That's a positive sign, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinch Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 I'd nix the beers if I were you. If you're that ill, you shouldn't have alcohol at all. It's no good for your immune system. Get well soon. Sounds scary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cougar Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 At home today, sick as hell The misery chronicles... You may have noticed that I have posted today more than usual. Sorry to hear that, but that does mean we get to read more of your eruditious postings. (Yes, I guess I made that word up.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 Sorry to hear that, but that does mean we get to read more of your eruditious postings. (Yes, I guess I made that word up.) it's a great word!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Hope you feel better… Have enough strength to play a few bars? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Sorry to hear you're sick man. To be honest your eyes look very sunken on your avatar! Get well quick. Until then keep hydrated & dont sneeze on the computer screen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gibson Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Get better so you can work,the government needs tax money to pay off the 20 trillion we're in the hole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pesh Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Hope you're on the mend mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 From your discription of everyone running to the far side of the room and treating you like you had the plague and your nose running, I thought you kissed a skunk and it sprayed your face. Lol Serious, it's no fun being down. My lower back went out of whack and I've spent 4 days and 3 nights in bed. I've walked around a bit yesterday and today. Take care of that cold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.