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Your weaknesses in life


Silenced Fred

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Look perhaps we'd better stop. Duane may realise strange things are 'a foot' and not approve of this 'leg pulling'

Poor lady in the poster has become a thing of ridicule; LOL at 'on a limb'

 

I am all punned out!:-&

 

Matt

 

OK. Can see you're getting a bit toey...

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It's about time this had an outing!

 

Peter Cook: Settle down. [puts a hand on Moore's shoulder and stops his hopping] Uh, Mr. Spiggott, is it not?

 

Dudley Moore: Yes, Spiggott's the name, acting's my game.

 

Peter Cook: I see. Spiggott is the name and acting is your game.

 

Dudley Moore: Right.

 

Peter Cook: If you'd like to settle down for one moment, Mr. Spiggott.

 

Dudley Moore: Certainly, yes.

 

Peter Cook: Thank you very much. [Moore hops over to the chair and rests his "stump" on it] Mr. Spiggott, er, you are auditioning, are you not, for the role of Tarzan?

 

Dudley Moore: Yes.

 

Peter Cook: Uh, Mr. Spiggott, I, uh, I couldn't help noticing -- almost immediately -- that you are a one-legged man.

 

Dudley Moore: Oh. You noticed that?

 

Peter Cook: When you've been in the business as long as I have, Mr. Spiggott, you, uh, you get to notice these little things, almost instinctively.

 

Dudley Moore: Yeah. Sort of ESP.

 

Peter Cook: That kind of thing, yes.

 

Dudley Moore: Mm, yes.

 

Peter Cook: Now, Mr. Spiggott, you, a one-legged man, are applying for the role of Tarzan.

 

Dudley Moore: Yes, right.

 

Peter Cook: A role traditionally associated with a two-legged artiste.

 

Dudley Moore: Yes, correct, yes, yes.

 

Peter Cook: And yet you, a unidexter... are applying for the role.

 

Dudley Moore: Yes, right, yes.

 

Peter Cook: A role for which two legs would seem to be the minimum requirement. Well, Mr. Spiggott, need I point out to you with overmuch emphasis where your deficiency lies as regards landing the role?

 

Dudley Moore: Yes, I think you ought to.

 

Peter Cook: Perhaps I ought, yes. Need I say with, uh, too much stress that it is in the, uh, leg division that you are deficient.

 

Dudley Moore: The leg division?

 

Peter Cook: The leg division, Mr. Spiggott. You are deficient in the leg division to the tune of one. Your right leg I like. It's a lovely leg for the role. As soon as I saw it come in, I said, "Hello! What a lovely leg for the role!"

 

Dudley Moore: Ah!

 

Peter Cook: I've got nothing against your right leg.

 

Dudley Moore: Ah!

 

Peter Cook: The trouble is -- neither have you.

 

 

 

As for weaknesses;

 

Real ale

Golden Virginia

Earl Grey tea

Proper coffee

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Coming from a Derek & Clive skit considering Dud's had a gimpy leg' date='that's a bit bloody cruel don't ya think huh!

All I can say is..."Jump! Jump you fukcer jump!"[/quote']

 

Shaun and other guys, do you watch Shameless?

 

I think it's dark humour would appeal to you[biggrin]

 

Matt

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...because they are so much better than everything what's out there now...

 

A JP 2, serial number 1

A JP 2, serial number 2

A JP 2, serial number 3

A JP 2, serial number 4

A JP 2, serial number 5

A JP 2, serial number 6

A JP 2, serial number 7

A JP 2, serial number 8

A JP 2, serial number 9

A JP 2, serial number 10

A JP 2, serial number 11

A JP 2, serial number 12

A JP 2, serial number 13

A JP 2, serial number 14

A JP 2, serial number 15

A JP 2, serial number 16

A JP 2, serial number 17

A JP 2, serial number 18

A JP 2, serial number 19

A JP 2, serial number 20

A JP 2, serial number 21

A JP 2, serial number 22

A JP 2, serial number 23

A JP 2, serial number 24

A JP 2, serial number 25

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...because they are so much better than everything what's out there now...

 

A JP 2' date=' serial number 1

A JP 2, serial number 2

A JP 2, serial number 3

A JP 2, serial number 4

A JP 2, serial number 5

A JP 2, serial number 6

A JP 2, serial number 7

A JP 2, serial number 8

A JP 2, serial number 9

A JP 2, serial number 10

A JP 2, serial number 11

A JP 2, serial number 12

A JP 2, serial number 13

A JP 2, serial number 14

A JP 2, serial number 15

A JP 2, serial number 16

A JP 2, serial number 17

A JP 2, serial number 18

A JP 2, serial number 19

A JP 2, serial number 20

A JP 2, serial number 21

A JP 2, serial number 22

A JP 2, serial number 23

A JP 2, serial number 24

A JP 2, serial number 25

[/quote']

 

Oy!

I think this blokes trying to pull a number on us...

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Yeah but you can always count on DeVeeWee.

 

BTW' date=' what is a JP 2? (first stupid question of the year?)

(Heavy sigh.....)

 

Dear God, don't you know ANYTHING?

 

[huh]

 

JP stands for Jimmy Page, the 2 is for his reissue that Gibson just introduced.

 

Jeez!

 

:-k

 

 

 

(Yeah, even as big a fan as I am I had to think for a minute)

 

[cool]

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(Heavy sigh.....)

 

Dear God' date=' don't you know ANYTHING?

 

[huh

 

JP stands for Jimmy Page, the 2 is for his reissue that Gibson just introduced.

 

Jeez!

 

:-k

 

 

 

(Yeah, even as big a fan as I am I had to think for a minute)

 

[cool]

 

 

 

I HATE it when that happens! :D

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