seanalmet Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 How many guitarist does it take to screw in a light bulb? 100, 1 to do it, 99 others to watch and say that they could do it better. I know it's lame but I couldn't resist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RotcanX Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Is that an Epi light bulb or is it a Gibson light bulb? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matiac Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Gibson lightbulb: 4. One to screw in the lightbulb, and 3 to stand around and talk about how great the old one was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brad1 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 The joke is not lame; it's a good joke. It's just that it's been printed in about all the different guitar magazines a zillion times for many years. It's not new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seanalmet Posted July 16, 2008 Author Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hey Rot, Epi, and the other 99 can't believe he uses such cheap lightbulbs. Another feeble attempt at humor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matiac Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 The joke is not lame; it's a good joke.It's just that it's been printed in about all the different guitar magazines a zillion times for many years. It's not new. Killjoy. Just kidding. Put your boxing gloves away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlagJones Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Gibson lightbulb: 4. One to screw in the lightbulb' date=' and 3 to stand around and talk about how great the old one was.[/quote'] and another one to put the old one on ebay to sell as vintage at 10 times the original cost. or the new one never got screwed in because somebody broke it so that it is now "reliced" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snookelputz Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Dude, I heard Seymour is coming out with a new high resistance tungsten filament model that is brighter than OEM by a whole order of magnitude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrjones200x Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 1 to screw it in as nobody else could aford the Gibson Bulb! 99 others sitting there with there EPI bulbs laughing as they had just as good a bulb for normal money!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitmore Willy Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Epi lightbulbs are metric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWANG Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist.. rock guitarist plays 3 chords for 1,000 people on saturday night. jazz guitarist plays 1,00 chords for 3 people on saturday night. How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1.. 3... 1... 3.... 1... 3. I got more but they're dirty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suicidehummer Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Gibson lightbulb: 4. One to screw in the lightbulb' date=' and 3 to stand around and talk about how great the old one was.[/quote'] Yeah, the old one had "mojo". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matiac Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Yeah' date=' the old one had "mojo". [/quote'] That's right. You should never mess with perfection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron G Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 How many Dead-Heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just wait for it to burn out and then follow it around for 30 years. How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None! They have machines for that now! How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? None--they just steal somebody else's light. How many punk-rock musicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: One to screw in the bulb and the other to smash the old one on his forehead. How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb? 1. None. Jazz musicians can't afford light bulbs. 2. "Don't worry about the changes. We'll fake it!" How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughan tune? Evidently all of them. Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll go though a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one. Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a fluorescent tube? A: Three, one to change it and the other two to tell him how much better incandescent bulbs are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbirchett Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1.. 3... 1... 3.... 1... 3. Actually, the answer is ... None. The bass player will say, "Let the keyboard guy do it with his left hand." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluelake07 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 And, for a change: What's the definiton of "perfect pitch?" Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim. How was the canon invented? Two violists were trying to play the same passage together. What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a crushed viola in the road? Skid marks before the skunk. What is the range of a Viola? As far as you can kick it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billybob Dylan Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Is that an Epi light bulb or is it a Gibson light bulb? Are they "standard," "custom" or "deluxe" bulbs? This stuff's important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcooper830 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 How many female lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One! She holds the light bulb and the world revolves around her!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snookelputz Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Wait a minute! Are these bulbs 3-tone sunburst? 'Cause I don't want none of that cheap 2 color crap!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbirchett Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 And' date=' for a change: What's the definiton of "perfect pitch?" Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim. How was the canon invented? Two violists were trying to play the same passage together. What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a crushed viola in the road? Skid marks before the skunk. What is the range of a Viola? As far as you can kick it. [/quote'] Q- How do you get 10 violinists to play in tune? A- Shoot nine of them. Q- How do you get 10 violists to play in tune? A- Shoot all ten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbirchett Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 And an oldie but goodie: What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? A bull has the horns in front and the a##hole in back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snookelputz Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 And an oldie but goodie: What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? A bull has the horns in front and the a##hole in back. Ah, I see someone else has worked with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbirchett Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Ah' date=' I see someone else has worked with him. [/quote'] Oh, they're all over! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johno Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Since I haven't heard many of these jokes before I find this thread to be quite illuminating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parabar Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Q: How do you get a lead guitarist to turn down? A: Put sheet music in front of him Q: What do you say to a guitar player in a three-piece suit? A: "Will the defendant please rise ..." Q: What's the least spoken phrase in the English language? A: "Hey look --- it's the accordion player's Mercedes!" Q: What's the difference between an accordion and a trampoline? A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline. Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in the car? He had to break the window to get the bass player out. And finally ... Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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